


Somewhere beyond the sea

by Ponyonewt



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (maybe), Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate universe - some magic, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cameos, Cute Credence Barebone, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends are everything, Happy Credence Barebone, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Love, Love at First Sight, M/M, Magic, Merman!Credence, Mpreg, Protective Original Percival Graves, Sad, Tina is the best friend, Torture, Violence, and Credence too, as usual Percy needs a hug, fisherman!Percival, mermaid, merman au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:53:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 49,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28160457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ponyonewt/pseuds/Ponyonewt
Summary: † Merman AU †Percival is a disillusioned fisherman who lives in a small, narrow-minded town where everyone knows everything about everyone else. One day, he finds in his net a pale skinned young man, Credence, and saves him. Their relationship takes an unexpected turn when he discovers that Credence is actually a merman. Between love, magic and fear of being discovered, destiny is full of pitfalls and adventures. But perhaps all this will lead them to better days.This fanfiction was inspired by the superb video : Fisherman And The Sea Prince by the talented momosansovinoAnd I add a cover in the first chapter ^^ (Yes, I draw ^^)
Relationships: Credence Barebone/Original Percival Graves, Queenie Goldstein/Jacob Kowalski, Tina Goldstein/Newt Scamander
Comments: 26
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [momosansovino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/momosansovino/gifts).



> And here I am again for a new fiction ^^ I really hope you'll like it, it's been a while since I wanted to write it, the video of momosansovino had really moved me.  
> WARNING: I have never fished in my life and I know little about the subject, so sorry if I make mistakes ^^

[](https://ibb.co/HTg4nCw)

_I've been thinking for a long time about how to count this story to you. Above all, I was afraid of distorting the truth, perhaps because it all seems unreal, detached from a reality that seems to suit everyone and to which I have never really belonged. From time to time I still think of it as if it had all been a dream. Sometimes bright and colorful, sometimes sad and cold, covered with fear and night. I've heard many people distort the truth, changing the story into a simple children's tale or a dark and scary legend. But all this is far from reality. If there is reality..._

_His name was Percival... Percival Graves. And perhaps you will allow me, dear reader, to set this story in its truth. In any case, the truth that belongs to me and that I am doing my best to put down on paper tonight. Because it is not a mere legend. At least, not quite._

_What is that sentence that is used so often again? Ah, I remember it now. Once upon a time, in a small village that seems to be frozen in time in the north of the British Isles, there was a fisherman, who loved the ocean with all his heart._

The sea was still rough this morning. The waves seemed to lick the edges of the boat more violently than usual. But no storm had been forecast, so Percival continued to move forward to reach his fishing area. He greeted a few friendly boats, humming distractedly a Wagner tune that his mother listened to when he was a child. Or perhaps it was his father? It didn't really matter.

He climbed up the collar of his raincoat, sighing in the damp cold of early October. This day was going to be the same as so many others before it. Nothing new under the moon, and nothing new under the sun, if sunshine could be behind those heavy and oppressive clouds. Just the monotony of a fisherman's life rocked by the waves and the icy wind. After a last maneuver and a new sigh, he pressed one of his levers to pull up his net. The mechanism emitted a sound of protest, he really had to come and see Hagrid to get it fixed, it was starting to get annoying.

The net left the waters, and Percival thought he was hallucinating when he noticed the shape that was emerging through the meshes: a human body. He blinked several times, feeling panic twisting his guts, before reason regained the upper hand and he hurried down the net onto the deck, taking care not to drop it too suddenly on the cold floor of his boat. He approached the body, his hands trembling, a shiver running up his spine as his heartbeat in a disordered whirl. He quickly pushed the fish, which scattered around him, and opened the net so he could get out the being with skin lighter than a pearl.

He was a young man, incredibly thin, almost too thin, all in length, ebony black hair cut short, a face of rare elegance, a well-defined jaw, long eyelashes caressing his cheekbones. But Percival did not have time to dwell on the beauty of his face, as he hastened to take his pulse. After sensing a faint but present beat in his neck, he bent over the unknown, and without waiting a moment longer, he placed his lips on his to give him mouth-to-mouth. At first there was no reaction, and the fisherman's heart contracted violently. He repeated the operation, and to his great relief, the boy started coughing, desperately looking for air but could not find it, his eyes still closed.

Percival stood behind him, straightened him up so that he could press several times on his stomach and rib cage, hoping to make him spit the water out of his lungs. He was so distressed that he felt a cold sweat running down his back. He abruptly pressed several times on his chest, which a few seconds ago had seemed lifeless, before the young man woke up with a start, vomiting and spitting out all the water that his body had ingested. He breathed in painfully, almost screaming in a muffled shout when the air returned to him, as if he had just left the world of the dead. And that must have been what he had just experienced. Percival was repeating words without any real meaning, just trying to reassure him while he kept pressing on his belly to make sure he spit it all out. The stranger continued to cough, breathing heavily and laboriously, his whole-body convulsing against Graves.

"Are you all right? " he asked, in a somewhat silly reflex.

The young man replied with a heart-rending and painful groan. The spasms of his body seemed to calm gradually, but Percival did not want to let him go. So there he was, sitting on the wet floor with his arms wrapped around the torso of someone he knew nothing about. The beating of his own heart calmed as the realization that the stranger was alive subdued the panic that had agitated him. He had just saved someone.

"Breathe... Breathe, it's going to be okay. " He said, trying to reassure himself in the process.

A new, plaintive sound. Percival ran a hand over his face. He had to contact someone, take him to the hospital, warn the coast guard. He looked down at the pale skin of the young man and his heart missed a beat when he noticed the wound on his thigh: a deep and bloody injury.

"Oh my God, your leg! Okay, I need to get you to the hospital. "

The stranger tried to escape from his arms, crawling pathetically away from Percival, unable to get up or really flee. He seemed panicked, as if the words of the older man had awakened something. Graves hastily removed his raincoat and wrapped it around his skinny body. The young man shook his head vigorously, wrapping the coat around him, before saying in a frightened voice, one of his hands suddenly grabbed the fisherman's sweater: 

"No! No, no hospital! "

Percival frowned, confused by this reaction. He helped the one he had just saved to stand upright and against all expectations, he took refuge against him, cowering in his coat to be able to settle down completely against his chest, visibly ignoring the wound in his leg or his nakedness, or simply the fact that he was behaving like this with a complete stranger.

"You're hurt, you have to... "

"No, no hospital, please... please... " he begged.

Graves was lost, and it was all the more so when the young man grabbed his second hand on his sweater, as if Percival was his only link to reality, his only anchor in life. Percy's mind began to work quickly. If he was injured, it might have been because he was trying to escape something or someone. He had a slight accent, something soft and melodious that the fisherman had never heard before. Maybe he was illegal. He took a deep breath, looking up to the sky, whispering a faint: _why me?_ As if the Gods would be merciful enough to give him an answer or show him the way. After a long sigh, he said in a calmer voice:

"Okay... Uh, okay. I have a friend of mine who's a nurse, would that be okay? "

"No... " the other murmured, disappearing almost entirely into the raincoat that covered his body.

He had closed his eyes, as if he was about to fall asleep. But he had to remain conscious, Percy had to have answers to his questions. Without much delicacy, Percival passed an index finger under his chin to raise his face.

"No? I can't heal you myself and it looks really deep... Don't you just want to... "

"I want to stay with you. " He cut him off. "Just with you, I don't want to see anyone. It will heal... "

Breath remained stuck in his lungs when Graves discovered the young man's dark and bright eyes. He was breathtakingly beautiful, and that was precisely what he had just done. Percy forced himself to leave these thoughts, he frowned, starting to move to try to get himself back on his feet. He had to treat him, or at least find something to stop the bleeding. The naked body with no strength against him did not help much in this task.

"It can get really ugly and take a long time without stitches... And you bleed a lot... " he explained.

The stranger shook his head again. Great, he had found someone more stubborn than him.He who was nobody, who had become a master in the art of being part of the walls, how was he supposed to deal with such an event? Without another word, Percival got back on his feet, unclutching the hands hanging from his sweater. Then he bent down to put an arm in the hollow of his knees and behind his shoulders so that he could carry the young man against him. His nudity didn't really bother him, and the coat was largely used to hide his intimacy. He took him into the cabin, placing him as gently as he could (admittedly not very conclusively) on one of the benches. Then he stepped aside to rummage through one of his closets to take out his first aid kit. He grimaced while looking at the red bag, he was not really up to standard on that side ... He was just hoping to find something to help the kind of Moses who did not want to see anyone except him.

He crouches down beside him, raising the coat enough to be able to take a look at the wound. It bled less than he thought he saw and after cleaning the injury (with miraculously unexpired alcohol) he put a compress on it before bandaging the leg. Percival was not especially tender in his manner, but he was meticulous, obviously used to healing. It must be said that he had had a rather dark period after the death of his mother, a period during which there had been many fights with strangers and violent blows. But the stranger did not protest, he did not even make the slightest sound of pain when Percy finished tying the bandage.

"Are you in pain?" he finally asked.

"No... No, it's all right," the young man murmured.

Graves sighed again, he got up and the stranger cowered on the bench, his whole body disappearing under the coat, leaving only his face sticking out of the raincoat. He seemed strangely calm, as if now that he was inside the cabin, cared for and covered with a coat, nothing could reach him anymore. It was quite weird, and Percival thought to himself that perhaps he had fished out a mentally ill person. Why him, for God's sake? Why did it have to happen to him? What had he done to deserve this? And most importantly, what was he going to do with him? Percival was not strong or reckless, he had never been that way.

He was, for the rest of the village, someone taciturn, reclusive, cold, who, since his divorce, had real interactions only with Hagrid, who helped him with the maintenance of his boat and who ran the inn, with Queenie and Jacob who ran the bakery and whom he had known since childhood, and Tina, his best friend who watched over him like a guardian angel. And Bella, his ex-wife, but it was quite different and frankly not very pleasant.

" You need to see a doctor, after what you've just been through. " he said, turning back to his rudder to grab the walkie-talkie hanging above.

"No!" the other cried, trying to get up in a sudden gesture.

But his legs slipped under him and Percy barely had time to put an arm around his waist before he collapsed to the ground. The coat slipped off his shoulders, and for the second time in a far too short time, Graves found himself with a young man completely naked against him. This time the red went up to his cheeks, and normally he would have been annoyed, upset by this kind of situation, but there was something in the younger man's eyes that made him want to protect him, to help him, to look after him like one takes care of something precious.

He helped him to sit back down on the bench before handing him his raincoat again. He rummaged through one of the lockers in the cabin and pulled out an old sweater that he hadn't worn in years. The smell was not agreeable, and the clothing was far too large for the survivor, but at least it would keep him a little warmer and prevent the older man from having to face that patch of pale skin again.

"Can I know your name?" he asked as he handed him the sweater.

The stranger detailed the fabric at length, as if he had never seen a wool sweater before, passing his long fingers over the reliefs, then he put it on with a small satisfied smile that seemed completely at odds with his recent panic. Good God, he had stumbled upon quite a thing...

"I don't know..." the young man replied finally, his eyes on the ground.

Percy raised an eyebrow, surprised by the answer.

"You don't know if I can know your name or you don't know your name? "

"Both. "

" Okay... " he sighed and shook his head.

It was going to be even more complicated than expected. As the minutes went by, he felt as if he had rescued an angel who had escaped from a mental institution. Yes, that's exactly what it was, a divine creature who wasn't in his right mind. It was really his lucky day! He took the rudder in hand and started the boat, slowly leaving his fishing area. He didn't really know where he was going to take "Mister I don't want to give my name". And besides, it was likely to be a rather empty day now that a part of his fishes were hung on the deck.

"My name is Percival. Percival Graves. But everyone calls me Grumpy. "

He wasn't sure why he was telling him this, but maybe it would convince him to talk. The younger one looked up at him and Percival forced himself to keep his attention to the front.

"That's mean," the survivor said.

"Yes, but it's true. I'm not really a social person. My friends call me Percy. "

"Percy... " the other repeated, rolling the letters on his tongue, as if to savor the texture.

A shiver went up his spine, and he immediately hated what that voice made him feel. He was not attracted to men, he had spent his life proving it to everyone around him and to anyone who had ever doubted his sexual orientation. So he didn't want the unpleasant warmth in his heart or the unwelcome pinch in his stomach. It was unhealthy and ridiculous, especially since he didn't even know him. The man in his booth was just a lost being that he had accidentally rescued, that didn't make him his responsibility or someone worthy of interest. And yet... Yet there was something new and startling in these eyes that Percy found hard to understand.

Graves turned to him and caught his eye. He lost himself for a few moments in the depths of his gaze before insisting:

"Do you still not remember your name? "

The stranger brought his leg unharmed against him, resting his chin on his knee. He looked so young, perhaps in his twenties. Graves hoped he was no younger than that. Percy was convinced he would never get an answer, but against all expectations, just as he looked away, he heard:

"Credence... "

It was an original name to say the least, it was the very first time he had ever heard someone called that.

"Credence...Nice to meet you, Credence. " He smiled, at least, he tried.

He had the sweetest expression he had ever seen in return and his stomach seemed to loop in his belly. He'd never felt that before, and it didn't bode well. After a long sigh and a few curse words grumbled into his beard, Graves changed course so that he could take Credence to safety. He was going to regret it, he knew it was dangerous and stupid, but he really didn't see himself taking him to the police or the hospital. What was he getting into? Only God knew... Farewell to the monotony of his life as a fisherman, the "man saved from the waters" had just turned everything upside down.

They quickly arrived at the small house at the bottom of the village, the one that gave directly onto a pebble beach, far enough away so that no one would venture here. Percival hadn't been here for years, having taken up residence in an apartment in the port. It was the only dwelling he had kept after his mother's death, having taken care to sell everything that had once belonged to his father, carefully disposing of the empire he had built across Europe. It was the best way for him to say goodbye to the demon that had terrorized him for half of his life and to free himself from the hold his ghost still had on him.

The fisherman's hut, as his mother called it, had a different meaning. It gathered beautiful memories, the ones shared with Tina and Queenie as children, the smell of Viviane's honey cakes, his mother, the smiles, the laughter, the dreams, the sea. It had been eight years since he had left everything to become a simple fisherman, and it suited him perfectly. The money was sleeping peacefully in his bank accounts, he lacked nothing, and he was far from all the anguish and horror of the world of finance and business. Silas Graves would turn over in his grave, and this thought delighted Percy to the utmost.

Once the ship was moored, he decided to carry Credence against him, not asking him if he felt the strength to walk. The younger one didn't complain, passing his arms around his neck a little too naturally, letting Percival bring him inside the little house. The place was dusty, but it was still well decorated and welcoming, and Graves was pleased that he had decided to keep the house. He awkwardly removed the sheet that covered the couch before putting Credence on it. Without a word, he slipped into his room to grab some underwear and pajama pants that were loose enough so that they wouldn't hurt the young man's leg.

He returned to the living room, under the unsettling gaze of Credence before handing him the clothes. Then he turned his back to him, waving at him to get dressed. But of course, the youngest was still not quite steady on his legs, and after a few seconds, Percy heard him fall on the dusty floor. He swore at himself before helping him, lifting him up to sit him back down on the couch. He helped him get dressed, while trying to ignore the adoring gaze of the younger one. He felt really uncomfortable and the other didn't seem to notice at all. After a long silence, Credence asked:

"Where are we? "

"At home... Well, the house is mine. No one ever comes here, no one will ask you any questions and no one will see you, if that's what you're worried about. "

"Thank you. "

He nodded, sweeping away the thanks with a vague hand gesture. He couldn't believe what was happening, all his actions seemed to be executed as in a dream, in an alternative version of his own existence. He got up, dusted off his clothes and looked around. He'd have to make the place a little more comfortable, make Credence comfortable.

Wait a minute... What? What the hell was he thinking! Credence wasn't going to stay! He wasn't going to take care of him, it wasn't some kind of romantic movie where everything ended well with a sunset!

"Percy? " the younger one murmured.

God, he should never have talked to him about that nickname. He closed his eyes for a few moments before looking at him. Even with his old sweater and raincoat on his shoulders, the young man in front of him was incredibly handsome, and the more he looked at him, the more he felt like he was venturing too close to a precipice, approaching the void without really realizing it, a willing victim. His eyes were two black pearls, his beauty pale and pure, and his delicate pink lips had a dangerous air of temptation. Percival shook his head, as if to escape the charm of the younger one.

"I have to go to town, I have to settle some business. I'll buy some food and something to take care of your wound. I won't be long. "

"I would like to stay here... "

A new glow took place in the bright eyes of Credence and Percival had a strange feeling, as if his heart was detached from his chest, as if the being in front of him had a hold on his slightest breath. He frowned, and as quickly as this feeling had appeared, it went away leaving Graves lost and slightly out of breath.

"I hardly see where you could go. " he confessed. "Can I leave you alone? "

Credence nodded, a shy smile stretching his lips.

"No one else? " he asked.

"No, I won't tell anyone about you, if that's what you're afraid of. " Percy assured.

He stuck his hands in his pockets, stared at Credence for a few more seconds before forcing himself to turn his heels and leave the little house. He checked that the door was locked, like he was afraid that the survivor would disappear as he had appeared. He cursed a few yards away, kicking in the pebbles, angry at himself, at this bad turn of fate, at the angelic face of Credence and at the whole world. He got back in his boat, sailed it back to the port, sold the little he had saved from the day's fishing, and went to his apartment.

He took a quick hot shower to take his mind off it, continuing to grumble a few swear words. Then he put on clothes that were more comfortable and, above all, more elegant than his old fisherman's outfit. He took his suitcase out of one of his closets (a suitcase that had probably just had the surprise of its life) before filling it with his things, taking care to add stuff for Credence. He emptied the contents of his fridge into a small backpack, walked around his apartment to gather a box of necessary items before taking it all in his old pickup truck. He locked his apartment, stowed his luggage in the trunk, ran a hand through his long hair before starting the engine.

Something suddenly hit him. At what point had he decided to move into the fisherman's cabin with Credence? Why hadn't his brain once questioned the thing? It seemed so natural that it was frightening. He sighed loudly before leaving his parking place, driving through the much too dull streets of the small town. Nothing had moved since he was a child. For ages nothing had moved, the village seemed frozen in the 40s. This was partly why Silas Graves had chosen to buy his manor house here (which had since become the town hotel when Percival sold it), because it was a quiet, timeless place where he could keep an eye on all the inhabitants and take full advantage of his status as a privileged man.

Percy parked himself in front of the inn of Hagrid, raising by habit his eyes to the sign that announced in faded letters: " ** _Inn of the Forbidden Forest_** ".

He entered the building, greeting the regulars, ignoring the evil glance that Narcissa, his ex-sister-in-law, cast at him from a corner of the room. The pale face of a newcomer caught his attention. The man must have been almost forty years old, perhaps more, judging by the few wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, but it was hard to discern, especially with the obvious lack of sleep that appeared on his face. He had blond, almost white hair and blue and brown eyes. He was staring at the sea through the window and something in his attitude made Graves uncomfortable. Perhaps it was his gaze? Or maybe it was the way he let a smirk appear in the corner of his mouth from time to time, or the snapping of his nails on the edge of the table.

"Ah, Percy! " his friend welcomed warmly, taking him out of his observation.

"Hello, Rubeus!" he smiled.

The man warmly held his hand before drawing him into a friendly embrace, patting him on the back several times. Then he stepped aside, explaining that he had his order and that he wouldn't be long in coming back. Percy sat at the bar on his usual stool, glaring at the stranger. When Hagrid returned, he put the carton of beer on the counter and said, in a disapproving tone:

"That's more than usual, Grumpy. "

"I know, I want to treat myself a little... Who's your new tenant? "

He was too curious, and it had never brought him luck, but today was really not the day he was going to care. It was already a crazy day, so why not venture to find out more about the enigmatic character by the window? Rubeus made a grimace, served him a glass of water, and then leaned over the wood in his bar to whisper to him:

"A very strange character. A German, he didn't give me his name, but he is registered at GG. He arrived three days ago, he doesn't speak at all, or just the bare minimum, and he spends his time on the quay looking at the water, as if he was waiting for something to come out. He came with a kid, a boy who must be 20 years old at the most. The kid's name is Tom, but the other one calls him Riddle, that must be his last name. He almost never leaves the room, unless GG takes him for a walk in the forest. Those two are really shady, if you ask me. And I'm not stupid enough not to know what's going on in their room when no one is listening. "

Percy choked on his sip after his friend's last remark. Hagrid gave him a strange look, and Graves sincerely hoped he wasn't as red as the warmth of his cheeks suggested. He hastened to finish his drink. Then he got up, grabbed his order and said:

"You keep an eye on them for the village. "

"As always, Grumpy. " Hagrid replied with a warm smile.

"Graves ... " he sighed, annoyed by the nickname.

"Yes, I know, I know ... " said his friend waving his hand.

Percival turned around and left the inn so he could put the case of beer in the back of his car. He was lost in thought when Queenie's sweet voice brought him back to reality with a joyful :

"Percy, honey! "

Across the street, the young woman waved her hand vigorously, a smile up to her ears. Since childhood, Percy had always looked after the Goldstein sisters, and while Tina was a tough girl and used the word " _fuck_ " a little too much for his taste, Queenie was a delicate little angel that the locals had taken great pleasure in bullying for years before she met Jacob. Queenie had a kind of gift, something that allowed her to be extremely receptive to people's emotions, and that ability had earned her the nasty nickname " _Freaky_ " for far too long.

Graves quickly crossed the road to reach her. She immediately greeted him in an embrace that Percival returned with affection, although clumsily.

"Queenie, my darling, how are you? " he asked.

She moved back from him so that she could look at him attentively, placing her hands on his cheeks with tenderness. Then she replied:

"Fine, I've just finished a batch of croissants, will you come and have a cup of tea? "

The proposal was tempting, especially with the day he was having, but he had already delayed enough. He still had to go to the pharmacy to find something to treat Credence properly. And he was not really serene to have left him alone, even if the youngest seemed to be strangely accommodating to the situation.

"Uh... I have to... I mean, I... " he mumbled, scratching his neck.

"Have you already made your delivery? " she asked.

"No, actually. " He lied.

It was the worst excuse in the world, especially since he was completely changed now, but Queenie didn't seem to notice it, and simply said:

"Oh, but it's almost eleven o'clock. "

"Yes, it is. "

She seemed largely disappointed and Graves felt bad about lying to her like that. But he didn't really have a choice. He was just hoping that Queenie would blame his anguish on his late delivery of fish. He didn't want her to suspect anything was wrong or she would worry about him. After a quick sigh, he asked:

"Can I buy some croissants? " hoping to cheer her up.

Her lovely smile returned immediately and Percy's heart warmed to the vision.

"Yes of course, I'll hurry up and get this ready for you! " she announced joyfully, beckoning him to follow her inside.

"Thank you, my darling. "

The aroma of fresh bread immediately made Graves salivate, and he smelled the perfume deeply. Queenie passed behind the counter and took out a box to put the croissants inside. She put three in, as usual, and added a chicken sandwich without a word, as if she knew that her friend was about to skip his lunch.

Percy stepped forward and looked at the various cakes in the display. Then his eyes stopped on a little pink tartlet, and without really knowing why, he wondered what kind of cakes Credence liked. The young man was a total stranger, he knew nothing about him except his name, the fact that he had almost drowned, and the truth that he was incredibly gorgeous. And the reality that his thoughts kept coming back to him frightened him a little, even though it was understandable with what had happened this morning.

"I'll also have a strawberry tart and two baguettes. "

Queenie giggled softly, obviously delighted to hear that. She had told him enough over the past few years that Graves didn't eat enough to satisfy herself with these kinds of spontaneous choices. She didn't need to know at all that his purchases were going to be shared with someone else. He paid and picked everything up, put a kiss on the young woman's forehead before leaving the bakery.

Well, just the pharmacy, and he would return to his water survivor. Perhaps he was delirious and everything he was doing was part of a dream. Maybe Credence didn't exist and he was still asleep in his bed, his alarm clock not having rung yet. That would make things much simpler. He put his shopping in the back seat before getting back behind the wheel. The pharmacy was not far away. He quickly parked in a rough maneuver before entering the store. He quickly greeted Gemma at the checkout before stepping onto the shelves. He looked for painkillers, new bandages, disinfectants. For a moment he was unsure what to take between the "skin closure strips" and the "butterfly closures". And it was Tina's voice that suddenly startled him: 

"Well, well, Percival Arthur Graves... "

He ran one hand over his face, throwing both packages into his basket before turning around to face his best friend. She had a mischievous little smile that hadn't left her since childhood every time she decided to tease Percy.

"You scared me. " he sighed, not really angry.

She placed a tender kiss on his cheek before answering, in a falsely repentant expression:

"Sorry, but it was really tempting, you seemed so focused. "

"Very funny... "

Tina had a small laugh. She looked at Percival for a few moments before she laid her eyes on his basket. And her smile faded immediately, a slightly panicked expression on her face:

"Some... some butterfly closures? Percy, what's going on? Did you hurt yourself? "

He felt himself blushing to the roots of his hair. Damn it, he had never been able to lie to Goldstein and she wasn't going to leave him alone until she got the whole story. She should have been a detective rather than a private nurse: every time he tried to hide something from her, he felt as if he was being interrogated... He ran a hand through his hair, looking for a valid answer, and then said, in the least convincing way possible :

"No, no... It's for... uh... my first aid kit. "

Tina raised an eyebrow. Well, in an attempt to convince her, it was a failure... Then in a gesture far too stereotypical, she crossed her arms on her chest.

"Your first aid kit? " she said, doubtful.

"Yes, you know ... You never know what can happen ... "

She approached him and Graves swallowed with difficulty. She waited for him to look her in the eye before continuing:

"Okay, Percy, what's going on? "

"Nothing... I'm... I'm shopping for... My first aid kit. "

"Do you think I'm a radish? " she seemed annoyed now. "You're hiding something, it's as plain as the nose on your face! You never knew how to lie to me, Graves! What the fuck is going on? " 

A radish? This one was new. It wasn't a good idea to tell her the truth. But it wasn't a good idea to hide a complete stranger in a house and go live with him while things cooled down. Hell, this whole day was not a good idea. Besides, Tina was a nurse, maybe she could help Credence. He trusted her, and in all sincerity, he didn't see himself dealing with all this alone.

"Can we talk about this outside? " he asked quietly.

Tina narrowed her eyes, suspicious, and then announced in a firm tone:

"You have 5 minutes to buy your " _first aid kit_ " items. "

And she quickly made her way to the front desk to pay for her articles and walked out of the store. Percival imitated her a few moments later, smiling politely at Gemma, who didn't dare to ask him any questions about his purchases. His heart was beating as if he was committing a crime. And deep down, he probably was. After a small hand gesture to the pharmacist, Percy joined Tina who was waiting for him near his car.

"So? " she said, once he was there.

How was he supposed to explain it all to her? How could he describe the events to her? Was Credence going to blame him? Why the hell would that matter? Maybe Credence wasn't even his real name!

"I've... I've fished someone out... " he confessed.

"You have what?" she cried.

"Shhh!" he exclaimed, frowning.

The street was deserted, but they had lived here long enough to know that the walls had ears. Tina had a small sorry pout before she spoke again in a low voice:

"Percy, what the fuck are you talking about? "

"I fished someone out of my net this morning... a boy, and he's hurt. "

She stared at him for a long time, as if she expected him to tell her it was a joke. And she was right, it was nonsense... Her surprise soon gave way to annoyance and worry.

"Jesus Christ, Percy, why didn't you take him to the hospital? Or to Dr. Mcgonagall? "

"Because he asked me not to. He doesn't want anyone to see him. "

It didn't make any sense, and even he didn't quite understand why he chose to listen to Credence and do this. It wasn't really responsible and it wasn't the logical reaction. You don't listen to someone who almost drowned when you're thinking clearly. Tina furrowed her eyebrows.

"Percy, this is crazy! He could be a murderer! "

"I don't think so... "

"Oh, you don't think so! So if you don't think so, it's because everything is fine and everything is beautiful. " she said ironically.

He knew that it was almost absurd, that this situation was unreal. But he was also aware, despite himself, of the strange warmth that had taken possession of his heart and his mind when he had plunged his eyes into those of Credence.

"He needs help! And that's what I'm going to give him until he gets better. Good God Tina, he's near death."

"All the more reason to take him to the nearest hospital, Percival Graves! "

"I can't, and I won't do it Tina! "

He was resolute, determined. Percival had never tried to be a hero, but he felt ready to do it for him, a perfect stranger with a pearl skin. A face that might haunt his dreams for years to come. Tina lowered her eyes, biting her lower lip, weighing the pros and cons of this situation and then she said calmly:

"Okay, let me get my nursing bag and I'll come with you. "

"Tina, you... "

"He's wounded, isn't he?" she cut him off, sweeping aside his protest. "It would reassure me to know what he looks like and that's non-negotiable. "

Percy bit the inside of his cheek. He could trust Tina, he knew he could, but he was afraid, afraid for a boy of whom he knew only the name. At that very moment, he was still not sure that all this was not a fantasy. He finally nodded in agreement before he went around the car and got behind the wheel. Tina climbed on the passenger side. They went to her house to get her things.

The drive to the little house was filled with heavy silence, full of hushed questions. Graves was incredibly anxious. Tina helped him unload his stuff and Percy's heart missed a beat when he noticed that the living room was empty. There was not a trace of Credence.

Tina gave him an interrogating look before taking care to tidy up the food he had brought in the fridge and cupboards. Percival walked around the house, but there was no one in the bedroom, nor in the bathroom, nor on the small back terrace. Credence had not been able to leave, he could barely stand.

"Credence? " he called.

No answer. The panic was spreading in his blood like a poison, and his fear was so strong that he wondered if he was going crazy.

"Credence? " he repeated.

This time he heard a slight creaking sound coming from one of the cupboards in the main room, and as he approached, he discovered a piece of his coat sticking out of the door. He walked slowly, placing one hand and his forehead against the wood. He felt inexorably drawn to the young man's presence and the relief in his heart to know that he was still here was not normal. Tina stood back, refraining from making any comments.

"Credence... "

"You said no one..." the other murmured, his voice muffled by the closed door.

"Can you please open the door? "

"You said no one... "

His voice was trembling, sad. Percy could easily guess why, he had trusted him and finally the fisherman had betrayed him. He wasn't trustworthy, he wasn't worthy of anything... Wasn't that why Bella had left? No, he had to pull himself together and put things in context: this was his home and there was no better person on earth than Tina.

"I know... I'm sorry. " He apologized. "But this is my friend Tina, she's a nurse, she's here to help you. "

"I don't want her to see me... "

"I saw you, and it went well. " He tried to reassure him.

"You are different. "

 _Why am I different? Why me?_ he thought. The warmth of his heart spread like a wave inside him, and if he had been a little more naive, Percival could almost have believed that it was magic. Tina's gaze did not leave him, she too seemed to realize that something strange was happening.

"I would trust her with my life, Credence."

That was the truth, and it was probably what convinced Credence to come out of the closet. He opened the door slightly and raised his dark eyes to Percy, awakening this strange feeling in his gut.

"Thank you, Credence. " Percival murmured

He wasn't sure why he was thanking him. Because he had stayed? Because he trusted him? Because he looked at him with those eyes so full of indescribable emotions. Percy reached out his hand to him and Credence accepted it, leaning on him to get back on his feet. Graves put an arm around his chest to support him and the two men turned towards the young woman. She looked at them in turn a few seconds before Percival made the introductions:

"Tina, this is Credence. Credence, Tina. "

She said nothing, detailing the stranger carefully, watching his face carefully for the slightest trace of deceit, of malevolence. But Credence caught her off guard, saying in a weak voice:

"You look worried... I'm not a threat. "

Tina blushed softly, running a hand through her hair, clearing her throat to give herself some composure.

"I never said that. " she replied. "Would you let me take care of your leg? "

Credence raised his face to Percy, as if he was waiting for his blessing. Then the older man just smiled to reassure him before helping him sit back on the couch. Afterwards, he left the little house to go and sit on the terrace with one of the beers he had just bought, leaving behind him two perplexed and suspicious people.

The fisherman let himself fall on the wet wood from one of his chairs looking distractedly at the trees in front of him. He had a horrible craving for a smoke, but he had chosen to put an end to it, he was already messing up his health enough as it was...Tina went out a moment later. She let out a long sigh before turning to her friend, who stood up to approach her.

"So? " he asked.

"So what ? Do you really want my opinion on this fucking situation? " she got angry.

"No, I just want to know how he is. "

Graves was stubborn, Tina knew it, and yet she couldn't help but let him know by her expression that she disapproved entirely what was happening. She shook her head resignedly before replying:

"I took care of his wound. It's not a pretty thing to see, but he seems sadly accustomed to this kind of treatment... "

"This kind of treatment? "

"Damn it, Percy, did you not see his back? "

"Not really, I was too busy trying to save him. "

Tina crossed her arms, looking down at her feet as if she could barely find her words. She seemed sad now, and Percy's heart grew heavy with apprehension.

"He has marks of abuse all over his body, but his back... My God, I've never seen anything like it. It looks like he's been lacerated for years... I think he's trying to run away from someone, maybe his parents, maybe something or someone else. "

That was Graves' opinion as well. And that explained his fear of others, apart from Percival, which was still an enigma. The question remained as to what the real danger was and whether Credence was reliable or just completely alienated because of the abuse he had suffered. Percy drank another sip of his beer.

"Do you think he threw himself in the water to save himself? " he asked afterwards.

"I'm convinced he did. He obviously preferred drowning to continuing to endure these horrors. That doesn't mean I trust him. And for your information, I don't trust you either... "

It was hurtful to hear and he didn't quite understand what she was trying to get at. He frowned.

"About what? "

"About you, Percy! Do you realize the way he looks at you? "

Yes, and he preferred not to think about it. The whole situation seemed complicated enough as it was. He looked away, cowardly running away from his best friend's piercing eyes. After another sip, he said softly: 

"I saved his life... "

Which was not a lie in itself, but it didn't explain Credence's adoring gaze or the strange warmth that had settled in his heart since he had come across those fascinating irises.

"I'm worried Percy... I'm really worried, I know you too well... And I don't know... I find his behaviour strange... "

Graves had a joyless laugh, finding this last remark incredibly ironic. Tina gave him a disapproving look.

"You mean stranger than the fact that I found him in my net this morning? " he asked sarcastically.

"I'm not kidding Percival! " she raged, clenching her fists.

But she knew him well enough to know that there was no point in insisting and that Percival would stick to his decision. In a sudden and unexpected movement, the young woman pulled her friend into a hug, clutching him tightly against her. After a moment, Percy returned the embrace, caressing her back in a tender gesture.

"You're putting yourself in danger, I hate it," she said, her voice slightly muffled against the older man's sweater.

"Everything will be fine Tina. "

"You say that all the time..." she sighed.

Because it was much better to see things in an optimistic light rather than admit that the whole situation was heading for disaster. She moved away from him, stared at him for a few moments before picking up her care bag, ready to return to the city.

"Do you want me to take you back? " he suggested.

"No, I'd rather walk. It will allow me to think. "

Percy nodded, he could understand that very well. He walked her back to the entrance, taking out his wallet on the way so he could pay for her consultation. She made him put it away with a look darker than death and the fisherman made the mental note to pay her back in meals and other culinary preparations. Credence sat quietly on the couch, still dressed in the clothes that Graves had given him this morning. The young man turned his face towards them and gave Percival a smile that made him shiver. Tina was right, he was putting himself in danger. But he was going to protect himself, as he had always done. He wasn't gay, let alone a " _fag_ ", as his father may have called him in his youth. And Credence wasn't going to change that, at least, he hoped not.

His best friend waved to the survivor, who returned it kindly, before putting a kiss on Percy's cheek.

"You won't tell anyone about this," he whispered.

"No, of course not. " She smiled. "We're going to wait until things settle down a little and his leg heals. Then we'll see what happens. "

"Thanks Tina. "

It was sincere, heartfelt. He owed her a lot, he asked a lot of her, and he knew it. She caressed his cheek with her fingertips, smothering him with that almost maternal look she had always had for him, when she wasn't trying to reprimand him or make him come out of his hats.

"Don't worry, always there for you, Percy. " she said.

And on those words, she left the house, walking away to join the coastal footpath. Percival closed the door, taking a deep breath to give himself courage before heading to the fridge. He took out the croissants and the chicken sandwich, dividing it in two to give half to his new tenant. He placed the pastries and strawberry tartlet on a plate before cleaning the kitchen table and placing the meal on it. He then helped Credence get up to sit with him. And the younger one grabbed his sweater again, as if he was afraid that Percival would disappear. The fisherman untied his fingers more gently this time when he let him sit on one of the chairs.

"She is nice. " The younger one whispered.

"She is. Are you hungry? "

"Yes. "

There was little point in asking him, as he was determined to see him eat. (Probably because even buried under Percy's clothes, he remained painfully thin.) Graves pushed half of the sandwich towards him and Credence stared at it as if it were the very first time he had seen the thing. Percy sat down in front of him, gazing at him, waiting for him to take his first bite. Credence took the sandwich in his hands and brought it closer to his eyes.

"What's that? " he asked.

It was a really weird question. Percy raised an eyebrow, surprised. He was almost expecting Credence to make a joke, but when he looked up at the older man, Graves realized that the abuse the younger man had suffered was also related to his diet.

"What? The bread? " he wondered.

"Bread?" repeated Credence, as if he was discovering the word.

"You... You've never eaten bread? "

"I've seen it before, but it didn't look like this. I've never eaten bread. "

Percy's heart broke. How could someone be so cruel to another person? Did he come from a crazy family? Had he escaped from some kind of cult? Everyone knew about bread, didn't they? Or had already eaten it, no matter what type, flour or consistency. At least that was the case in Europe. He leaned down on the table, trying to discern the slightest trace of mockery in the youngest's features, but nothing, he was incredibly serious.

Credence brought the sandwich to his lips, crunching a piece of the baguette, frowning, visibly concentrated. And Percival prevented himself (without much success) from thinking he looked adorable.

"It's weird... But I think I like it. " He finally concluded.

The rest of the meal passed in silence, Percival preferring to wait until Credence had eaten (or rather had finished delighting in every ingredient of his sandwich, the boy knew neither tomatoes nor chicken apparently) to ask him all the questions that were burning his lips. When it was time for dessert, Graves pushed the strawberry tartlet towards the younger boy, and as with the bread, Credence stared at it with a careful look.

"It's pink. " He said after a few seconds.

This observation made Percy smile. He poured himself a glass of water before doing the same for the young man.

"Yes, it's a strawberry tartlet. You should try it. " he encouraged him.

Credence seemed a lot more skeptical than he was about the sandwich, but he took a bite anyway and the grimace he made pulled a small laugh out of the older man. Percival tried to hide his amusement by taking a sip of water. Credence was definitely a curious specimen, it was the first time he met someone who didn't like strawberries.

"Yuck! " he exclaimed after drinking a little water. "It's really too strange, it burns the tongue. "

New frown. Percival was confused now.

"What, the strawberries? " he asked.

"The taste... "

"You mean sugar? "

Credence nodded. Was it possible that the young man had never eaten anything sweet in his life. Where on earth had he grown up? What had his life been like before Percy fished him out? Credence noticed Graves' troubled face, and he interpreted it as if he had hurt him. Then he looked down and said sadly:

"I'm sorry, but I don't like it. "

"There's no harm done. " The older one reassured him.

He got lost in his thoughts again. What horrors had Credence lived to choose to drown himself rather than go on living? A silent anger took place in his belly, an anger directed against those who had done so much harm to the youngest. It was a fury he could barely contain, and he had the strange feeling that something else was exacerbating his annoyance and frustration. Something that was beyond him and running down his skin like a raindrop. Credence's gaze was lost in emptiness, his face devoid of expression.

"Credence? "

"Hmmm? "

"What do you usually eat? "

The younger one finally turned his gaze towards him, coming out of his torpor. He looked at Percival, that indescribable sparkle in his eyes.

"Seaweed and fish. " he replied. "But mostly seaweed ... "

"Seaweed ... right ... " he sighed.

Damn, the poor kid had really suffered. Suddenly he was happy that he had pulled him out and saved his life. Percy wasn't a perfect man, far from it, he drank too much, ate too little, was often cold, bitter and melancholy, but he felt that with Credence, he had done something good. It wasn't just the feeling that he had done a right deed, rather the deep conviction that for once in his dull life he was about to make a difference for someone. The gaze of the one in front of him seemed to irradiate a silent fire in the whole being of the fisherman.

"You have the color of infinity..." Credence murmured.

His breath remained stuck in his lungs. Even if that sentence didn't make much sense, it resonated in Graves like no other before it, ricocheting in his mind, filling the fibers of his body. And it was at that very moment that the fisherman realized that he was no longer standing on the edge of the precipice: he had already begun his fall. Credence would be his redemption or his damnation, but in either case, Percival Arthur Graves had fallen. And this was the beginning of everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I really had a hard time writing this chapter, so I hope you'll like it ^^ Kisses

Living with Credence turned out to be much easier and more natural than Percival had anticipated. To live... How far away that word had seemed to him for years, and how frightened he was now that it made sense in the form of a stranger. He, who had convinced himself for years that his solitude suited him, was now discovering unsuspected facets of sharing a house, especially in the unconscious satisfaction of seeing that certain objects had moved during his absence.

He had quickly noticed some rather disturbing details about the young man: he had great difficulty walking, even if the injury was disregarded, the gesture was not spontaneous and even less mastered, and he seemed to know nothing about the basic elements that make up a house, let alone food. In fact, his almost childish discovery of things and his environment, even if it remained adorable, was frighteningly painful to observe. Graves felt his heart breaking every time he had to explain to Credence what pasta, ham or cheese was. The young man quickly noticed the bottles of beer that Graves drank until late at night, and he also noted the state in which the fisherman sometimes crawled to his bed. Percy wasn't proud of it, in fact, it was quite the opposite, but some habits are hard to break and they stick to him.

"You're hurting yourself..." Credence said one morning, in a neutral, unsettling tone.

Graves had a terrible hangover and was struggling to make a decent cup of coffee. Why did he care? Why did he take the right to make these kinds of remarks to him? As he turned to the one he had saved, Percival really wanted to give him a murderous look and a sharp remark, but it died in his mind as soon as he got lost in those big black eyes.

"Well, I guess I'm drowning and no one's there to rescue me... " he replied, with an unconvincing smile.

He had then noticed this incomparable glow in the young man's irises and his whole body was irradiated, a burning wave taking his breath away. Credence leaned his head to the side, in a gesture that didn't really seem natural, before saying in a strangely melodious voice.

"You deserve better... You don't need to punish yourself. "

Then the feeling had vanished and Percival was able to breathe again. After that, there were fewer beers. He had had a hard time convincing himself that Credence was not some kind of superior being. And for him, this doubt that the younger one was an angel helped to justify his growing (and increasingly pervasive) attraction to him.

Very quickly, a certain routine was established between the two men: Percy went fishing in the morning, Credence stayed alone, mostly reading, and Graves came back in the middle of the afternoon with a new food to introduce the young man to each time. During the discussions, Percy learned that Credence was 23 years old, that he came from "somewhere," that he had lost his family at a very young age, and that he was adamant about not talking about what had happened to him since then.

He loved to sing, humming melodies and lyrics in foreign languages, watching the sea moving. There was something fascinating, almost hypnotic about his voice, and every time Graves allowed himself to listen to it, he felt like he was leaving the earth. He also had the strange feeling that even the waves decided to make less noise to leave more room for Credence's songs. It was soothing in a way, to finally let, in this life that was too tidy, which every evening tamed his fears and anxieties, enter a being that seemed almost magical. The fall was inevitable, and the return to reality would be cruel. So Percival preferred to think that, perhaps, Credence would stay to brighten an existence in which dreams were rushing towards torment and oblivion.

The young man loved birds, plants and stars, colors too, the sound of the wind in the branches, and the more the days passed, the more Percival felt inexorably attracted to him, like a magnet. Everything converged towards Credence, everything brought him back to himself, everything seemed more beautiful, more colorful, more alive around him. And when the younger one lifted his face from his book as Percy returned and gave him a bright smile, the fisherman felt like he was breathing again. Living... Being alive, feeling alive... He had almost forgotten what it was like...

The wound on the boy's leg healed miraculously quickly and Tina, who came by several times a week to make sure everything was okay, was quite surprised to see this. She always took the opportunity to make a remark to Graves about Credence's attitude, and despite the mutual mistrust between the two, they were able to accept each other enough not to confront Percy with the development of an animosity. Credence was calm, gentle, caring, and even though Tina didn't trust him, she was able to discern it, and especially to see the good he seemed to be doing for her best friend.

Graves had set up a room for Credence in the living room. He had installed a mattress, emptied a small dresser so that the youngest could store his things (formerly Percival's stuff) and placed screens to give him some privacy. This may have made things too permanent, but after more than three weeks of living together, Percival could not see himself doing otherwise. And quite frankly, he didn't want to. He had more and more this selfish desire that the younger one would stay, that he wouldn't disappear. But between desires and reality, there is often a chasm, and this chasm appeared at the end of October.

Percy was finishing the dishes when he heard a painful cry from the bathroom. He stopped his task, quickly wiped his hands before almost running towards the room where Credence was. He hesitated to enter, but he didn't want to make things worse by intruding into the youngest's privacy (even though he had already seen him naked.) The water continued to flow in the shower and Graves could only hear a slight plaintive groan above the noise. He knocked gently on the door before asking :

"Credence, is everything all right? "

"Don't come in!" he cried in panic.

Percival was surprised and even more worried. The young man hadn't had these intonations since the day he had fished him out. And he had to show conviction to force himself not to open the door. The fear of Credence seemed to spread through the air, intoxicating Graves, who felt his heart beating inordinately. A new sound of pain rose, and Percival tried to lower the handle, but the door was locked.

"Credence, what's going on? Do you want me to call Tina? "

"No! No, don't! "

"What's going on, tell me... please. "

"I'm fine, I just need a little time... I'm fine Percy. "

It was a lie, he could hear it, his voice sounded fake, but Percival didn't want to push him, he didn't want to rush him. He simply added that Credence just had to call him if needed and went back to the kitchen. He went back to the dishes, listening carefully to the sounds coming from the bathroom. After a while, the shower stopped and Credence came out of the bathroom, only dressed in the old sweater that Percival had given him the day he saved him.

He joined Percy, staggering on his legs, as if he was about to faint. The older man quickly approached, and the moment he put a hand on Credence's shoulder, he collapsed and the fisherman immediately caught him. He put an arm under his knees and around his shoulders to carry him, calling him several times without any answer, and brought him to the mattress behind the screens. Credence was completely unconscious and paler than death.

Percival was in unprecedented anguish, he did not know what to do. Despite Credence's advice, and for the second time since their meeting, he asked Tina for help. He sent her a message briefly explaining the situation and his friend assured him that she would be there as soon as possible. Graves took a chair to sit at the young man's bedside until Tina arrived. Maybe he was sick. Maybe he should have taken him to the hospital. Maybe some unknown disease was eating away at him. He bent down to put his hand on his forehead and it was burning. Percy rushed to get some extra blankets from one of his cupboards. He covered the slender body, unable to help himself from removing the hair stuck to his forehead by sweat.

He soaked a tea towel with water so that he could put it on Credence's forehead and this seemed to calm him slightly as his features left this tense, almost painful expression. His skin had a strange color, something awkward, almost blue, as if he could see the veins through the epidermis.

He had the impression of waiting an eternity before hearing a car arrive in front of his house. By reflex, he closed the curtains, leaving only enough of a gap to be able to verify that it was Goldstein and not Bella. As soon as he recognized the brunette, he unlocked the door to greet her. A cold sweat ran down his spine when he noticed the silhouette of Queenie behind her. The young woman looked furious, which was rare enough for Graves to notice at once.

"I'm sorry," Tina apologized.

"What's she doing here?" he asked in a low voice, panicked at the thought of sweet Queenie meeting Credence.

"She absolutely wanted to know what was going on and you said it was urgent, so I thought it was better to... "

"You two are hiding something from me and I hate it! " Queenie stormed, stopping next to her sister, crossing her arms.

The fisherman refrained from looking over his shoulder. Calling Tina was one thing, Queenie discovering his secret was another. And despite all the love he had for the youngest of the Goldstein, he had to protect Credence.

"Queenie, my dear... " he tried.

"Don't " _my dear_ " me, Percival Graves! " she cut it off at once.

Percy was thinking fast for an explanation in front of Queenie's angry face when a new cry rose from the living room. He rushed inside, Tina on his heels. He felt his heart stop when he noticed Credence's body convulsing strangely on the mattress, his limbs twitching in painful jolts.

"What happened?" asked Tina, taking off the blankets that hid the young man's body and pulling up his sweater so she could examine him.

Obviously Credence was naked under his sweater, and in other circumstances Graves might have blushed at the sight, but his mind was far too blurred by the anguish. Fortunately, Queenie had the reflex to keep a reasonable distance. No doubt she felt the seriousness of the situation. Just as Percival was about to respond, the nurse placed her hand on Credence's forehead and he bowed violently, a dying scream at the edge of his lips in a heart-rending plaintive sound, his back completely arched.

Tina hastened to open her treatment bag as the young man's body fell softly on the mattress, as if all life had just left him. Graves leaned over him, an unprecedented fear running through his veins. Credence's rib cage was atrociously motionless and Percival felt terrorized at the realization that he was no longer breathing.

"What's going on?" Queenie asked behind him, visibly on the verge of tears.

But Percy couldn't be concerned about her condition right now. The priority was Credence. He leaned over to give him mouth to mouth while Tina was working on the other side of the bed to help him. Suddenly, the young man opened his eyes. They had a strange, milky, almost bright color and the pupil was indistinguishable. Graves almost jumped at this vision. He stepped back slightly, keeping one hand in Credence's hair.

"What is _this_? "

Goldstein's lost and shocked voice caught his attention and that's when he noticed what she was talking about. There, at the level of Credence's ribs and in a perfectly symmetrical way, wounds had opened. No... No, they weren't wounds... Graves had been in fishing long enough to recognize what they were. Credence grabbed one of his hands on the fisherman's sweater and in a strange voice due to suffocation, he whispered:

"The sea... please. "

In other circumstances, Percival would have stepped back, he would have tried to understand and analyze the situation, but something in those words seemed to sound right, true, necessary and logical. He ignored Queenie's panicked gaze and Tina's protests when he put his arms under Credence to carry him outside. The young man didn't have enough strength to put his arms around his neck. His head slumped back, his fingers tempted to hang on to Percy's sweater. The blood was boiling in Graves' veins so strongly that he could hear it buzzing in his ears. No sound reached him except for Credence's almost non-existent breathing.

Even the coldness of the sea that impregnated his clothes when he entered the water seemed far away to him. He walked forward until the gentle waves reached his waist, aware that his friends were shouting something from the beach. But Graves could only concentrate on Credence and the shiver that agitated him when he bent down to get the pale body into the water. A painful sound passed the younger one's lips, his white eyes open to the sky, seemingly imploring the stars.

Then something unimaginable, unreal and magical happened. Something beyond understanding, beyond reason and beyond everything Graves had learned since he was a child. The breath was still trapped in his lungs and his heart missed a beat, and if he hadn't been so frozen by the cold water, he probably would have collapsed.

Before his astonished eyes, in the light of the moon, and in the cold of the evening, Credence was being transformed into one of the most wonderful and fascinating creatures in the universe: a merman. The pale skin of his legs was gradually covered with a series of silvery scales reflecting the night light. And in just a few seconds, its lower limbs gave way to a fish tail with fins that were the most beautiful thing Graves had ever seen.

He could have been frightened, perhaps he should have been, but when the gills on Credence's rib cage moved and he breathed again, Percival felt only relief and a burning desire to protect the most beautiful creature the earth has ever carried. He would have been unable to describe how long he had stood there, his arms under Credence's body, his eyes captivated by the steady movements of the scaled tail. Credence only had his face out of the water and he seemed to finally relax, freeing himself from an indescribable pain. The weight that oppressed Percy's heart disappeared and the ringing in his ears subsided. On the beach, Tina and Queenie had stopped shouting, simply and impatiently waiting for Graves to come back to them. He sincerely hoped they couldn't see what he was discovering with such wonder. Credence raised his white eyes to him and a tender but stressed smile appeared on his lips.

"Now you know... "he whispered.

"Now I know... " he repeated, his voice sounding foreign to him.

To be frank, at that moment, Percival was not sure he was not dreaming. He was no longer old enough to believe in fairy tales, and if Credence was the little mermaid, what did that make him? Certainly not Prince Charming! The heat wave that was spreading inside him more and more often under the young man's gaze seemed to cloud his mind for a moment, and Credence's smile became more apparent. He wasn't just handsome, he was magnificent, magical, and in fact, he seemed unattainable. How could Percival allow himself to touch such a creature, he who was so pathetic and worthless?

"I want to go home..." Credence whispered.

"Do you want me to let you go? " he asked in a trembling voice.

Without being able to explain it, tears came to his eyes. Now that he knew, now that he had seen the most beautiful thing in the universe and felt blinded by it, he was going to have to let it go. A painful ball formed at the back of his throat, and in a slow motion he moved forward to immerse himself a little more in the water, untying his tense fingers around Credence's body. But, against all odds, instead of swimming away, as he should have done, the young merman cowered against him, coming out of the water enough to put his arms around Percy's neck and bury his face against his sweater, as if he was afraid the fisherman would disappear. Against him, he could feel that the fever of the younger one had disappeared, and the water-soaked wool sweater was icy cold.

"I want to go home... " he repeated. "I am cold. "

Graves straightened up, receding a few steps before bringing Credence back entirely against him. When his legs left the waves, the scales disappeared into a light dust comparable to an almost indistinguishable veil of stars. Percy felt stunned, as if his mind was no longer really in his body, as if this whole situation was not happening. Credence huddled a little more against him and the heat wave spread through his being as he returned to shore. Tina didn't wait a moment to yell at him, fists clenched, while Percival had not yet fully emerged from the water.

"Are you fucking crazy?" she raged. "Do you want to kill him? He's already got a fucking fever! "

The fisherman wanted to tell her that she couldn't understand, that this was what Credence needed, that this was what he had asked him, but before he could speak, Queenie's sweet voice was heard.

"He needed the sea... " she whispered.

Tina turned to her sister in the same movement as Percy. Without a word, Queenie approached the young man that Graves was holding tightly against him. With the most beautiful delicacy in the world she put a hand on his shoulder and a tear rolled down his cheek. Against him, Credence seemed to have fallen asleep.

"He will be fine now. " She smiled at Percival as she stepped aside.

The nurse stared at each of them in turn before getting angry again.

"No, he's not going to be fucking fine! Get him back inside before he gets pneumonia! And you, too, at the same time! "

He didn't see himself protesting, and to tell the truth, he didn't really feel himself the same tonight. He went inside the house and warmed Credence with the help of Tina, who couldn't explain the disappearance of the marks that had shown up on his ribs or the total absence of fever. Percy then wrapped him in one of his pajamas and carried him to his mattress, surrounding him with multiple blankets. The young man seemed soothed in a reassuring sleep and he simply made a small sound of contentment when Graves put a kiss on his forehead. It wasn't something he did regularly, in fact it was the first time he had this sign of tenderness for Credence. Then, by order of his best friend, he slipped into the shower, washed himself, trying to force himself to remember that this was not a dream, before putting on dry clothes and joining the Goldstein sisters who were arguing in a low voice in the kitchen.

Tina turned to him as soon as she saw him, she seemed less angry than before, but she wasn't quite calmed down. Although she was five years younger than him, she continued to act like a big sister ready to preach to him.

"What was that, Graves? " she asked dryly.

He didn't really know what excuse to make and anyway he would be unable to lie to Tina. And quite honestly, at almost one o'clock in the morning, he didn't have the strength.

"He asked me to take him to the sea, " he said, simply dropping himself on the last free chair around the table.

Tina raised her hands to the sky, in a sign of resignation, as if Graves' answer was the stupidest in the world. And he couldn't really prove her wrong: he had literally called out for help, only to run away five minutes later with an unconscious Credence in the icy sea stirred by the late October wind.

"Oh, so if he asks you to throw yourself off a bridge, would you do it? " she said coldly.

Percy frowned. He wasn't stupid, he knew very well where this conversation was going and he wasn't sure he could do it tonight.

"I don't see the connection... " he lied, looking down at his hands on the table.

He must have seemed like a child being scolded, and that's probably why Queenie's fingers were placed above his as a sign of comfort. Tina continued, ignoring her friend's sad face:

"The connection, Percival, is that we don't listen to someone who tells us to take him to the sea in the middle of October when he has a fever! Just as we don't listen to someone we've just saved from drowning! "

Percival opened his mouth to retort that he knew all this, and that he didn't give himself reason, that he had acted by instinct more than by sense, but Queenie went ahead of him, in a voice that did not hide her emotions well:

"He needed it! " she defended him.

"I don't care if he needed it!" her sister said. "It could have gone very wrong! And I hate the hold he has on you! " she said to Percy.

A shiver ran through the fisherman's body at these words. He frowned a little more as he looked up at his best friend. Her anger was mixed up with something else, something he knew only too well: worry. She was afraid for him.

"He doesn't have a hold on me... "

"Percy, please!" she cried, visibly indifferent to Credence who was sleeping in the next room. "Stop it! On which cloud have you been living for almost a month? "

"He's a good person!" Queenie intervened again.

Even if she thought she was doing the right thing, she wasn't really helping the cause. The anger in the eyes of the eldest of the Goldsteins redoubled as she turned to her sister. She clapped her hand flat on the table, furious, startled the other two people present, and then said :

"How could you know that? You don't even know him! You've seen him convulsing on a mattress and falling asleep from exhaustion in Percy's arms, and that's enough for you to think that?!You're both fucking crazy!

As often in this kind of situation, tears came to Queenie's eyes and she forced herself to blink several times to hold the salted pearls. Her grip tightened around Percy's hands, as if she wanted to show him that she was on his side, that no matter what Tina thought, she wouldn't change her opinion of Credence. It was both reassuring and slightly stressful.

"I feel it!" Queenie explained, more calmly than her sister but with a tension in her voice. "He's good, Tina. And you know it too, otherwise you would never have agreed to leave Percival alone with him. "

Tina had a bad laugh, turning her gaze away to put it on the wall behind Percival. She was tired, annoyed, unsettled by the risk that her friend seemed to be taking so selflessly.

"I don't trust him. " she said afterwards.

"He doesn't trust you either, just so you know. "

The words had passed Percival's lips before he could hold them back. It wasn't the best thing to say, he was aware of that. It gave the unpleasant impression that a stranger's opinion counted as much, if not more, than that of his best friend. And that's how Tina received it, because she straightened up, her whole body tense again, her hands clenched in two fists on her knees.

"And why the fuck should I care?! " she replied. "Why do YOU care?! "

She gave him a look darker than death, daring him to lie to her or find a stupid explanation. Percival swallowed with difficulty. Why did Credence's opinion matter so much? Was Tina's fear legitimate? Percy knew he had long since entered a path with no turning back from his inclination towards the young man, but he didn't want to put a word on it. It would make things far too concrete and, more importantly, far too painful when Credence would leave. For the time being, he just wanted to protect him.

"Because he cares about him... deeply. "

The voice of the youngest Goldstein took him out of his thoughts and her words made him blush. He took his hands off her. From childhood, he knew that the power of the young woman was strongest when she had physical contact with the person. And even though he loved her with all his heart, he hated it when she used that ability against him. Tina stared at her sister with a suspicious look. It was obviously not the answer she wanted to hear, yet she was not in the least surprised.

"Queenie, I love you, but please stop analyzing me. " Percy sighed.

"You don't hide your feelings well... " she confessed, giving him a sorry pout.

"Queenie, please. " he said, closing his eyes for a moment to block the wave of anguish that threatened to cover him.

"She's right!" Tina asserted. "Percy, you don't see the way you look at him, the way he looks at you, as if he... I don't know, as if he has power over you. "

Yes, he did. But Credence trusted him and he needed his help. And Percival was big enough and smart enough to take care of himself. At least he was trying to convince himself of it... Once again Queenie beat Graves to the punch to speak:

"Credence doesn't think badly, he tries to help him. "

They both turned to her. Since her arrival here, Credence's name had never been mentioned before, and he couldn't imagine Tina giving it to her sister.

"How do you know his name? " he asked.

"He told me. " She answered as if it was the most logical thing in the world.

"No, he didn't..." Tina remarked suspiciously.

"Yes, he did. When we were on the beach. " Queenie explained, astonished at the behavior of the other two.

Tina stared at her sister for a long time before turning to her best friend. She clenched her teeth, tensing her jaw, before saying dryly :

"I don't like it Graves, I don't like it at all, damn it! "

"It's not my fault if you don't hear him when he talks!" Queenie defended herself.

That was one sentence too many and the eldest of the Goldsteins struck again with her hand on the kitchen table before raising her index finger towards her sister.

"You should never have come tonight! And you!" she said, turning to Percy. "You... _you_... oh fuck, _stop falling in love_! "

"I'm not falling in love! " he retorted, angry too.

This discussion went too far and lasted too long. He was far too tired, far too overwhelmed by what he had discovered tonight, shaken by the state in which Credence found himself, torn by what he was feeling and this infernal sensation of no longer being in control of his emotions, to continue this interminable judgment from Tina.

"You are..." Queenie whispered, not helping him at all.

"Queenie, for the third time, stop analyzing me! "

"But honey, you... "

"Ok, that's enough! " he cut it dry. "I love you, but you're not here to decide anything about me! "

"Because we can run every time you call for help, but otherwise we have to keep our mouths shut, right?"

It was a low blow to tell him that, even she knew it, and it was hurtful. It was hurtful because it awakened painful memories, memories that Percival was doing his best to forget. And that pain, that feeling that she had just hit him in his weak spot reinforced Graves' anger.

"I would make my own choices about Credence! " he said sharply. "And just so you know, he asked me not to call you, but I wanted you to be there to help me, because you're my best friend and I trust you. "

"Obviously not enough to listen to me when I tell you that it's strange or that it's completely stupid to take him to the sea! You have no idea what the fuck is going on! "

Percival jumped up, and so did Tina. They hadn't had a fight like this for many years, to the point where they wanted to spit poisonous words at each other. But an inner voice kept telling Graves over and over again that she was wrong, that he was right, that Credence was important, and that she had to figure it out eventually. Strangely enough, his anger subsided abruptly, covered by a reassuring heat wave, followed closely by a melodious voice:

"Don't fight because of me... "

The three of them turned their attention to Credence. He looked weak, almost ill, leaning against the wall beside him to stand. Percival plunged his eyes into his and the heat wave surrounded his heart, seeming to embrace it with tenderness. An overwhelming need to hold him in his arms came to his mind, but he resisted it. He came to believe that Credence did have a hold on him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to bend every time he felt this way.

"Honey, darling, you should go back to sleep, I'm sorry we woke you up". Queenie said

"Stop talking to him as if he were 3 years old. " Tina raged between her teeth.

Without a word, Credence took a few steps forward. He was almost translucent pale, and it broke Percy's heart. The young man stood in front of Percival's best friend and waited patiently for her to look him in the eye and say in a neutral and unsettling tone:

"You are afraid... You are afraid of me because I am upsetting the balance of your bond. "

"I don't know what you're talking about. " Tina replied dryly.

"You love Percival, like a brother certainly, but you love him. He's the center of your universe and you're afraid that I'm going to take him away from you and hurt him, because you've already trusted someone who has betrayed him. Who has betrayed you both. I'm not going to steal him from you Tina, and I have no intention of hurting him. "

Tears formed at the corners of the young woman's eyes, and Graves was unable to tell whether they were tears of sadness or rage. Either way, Goldstein was at her limit, and Percy felt that he too was reaching his breaking point. He didn't know how the young man had found out and understood all this about him and Tina, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out. He still couldn't fully integrate the idea that Credence was a merman. It would take him some time to get used to the idea, even though he could no longer deny how much the young man meant to him.

My God, this evening was a real delirium! He almost had a headache. He let himself fall back on his chair, sighing, putting his hands over his eyes, before asking in an exhausted voice:

"Could you not talk about me as if I wasn't there? Credence, go back to bed. "

"Percy, you should... " Queenie tried.

"Queenie, if you make the slightest comment on how I feel, I swear I will never speak to you again. Credence, go back to bed! "

The tone was dry, sharp, much more than Graves would have wanted, but his patient was coming to an end and he was really tired. He felt a hand gently resting on his shoulder before lips placed a tender kiss on his cheek. He had to restrain himself from abandoning himself to this contact. It was the first time Credence had done this, and it almost made his head spin. He lowered his hands so he could open his eyes, turning towards the young man's face, which was much too close to him. And even knowing that Credence was a magical creature, that he was probably using his charms on him, Percival couldn't stop his heart from beating and his irises from moving back and forth between his eyes and his lips. Credence seemed to realize it too, and even though his eyes darkened, he didn't try anything. Not tonight, not now, not when Percy looks so weak and tired, not without them discussing what he discovered tonight. Then he put a kiss on his forehead, while Graves closed his eyes, and then whispered:

"Good night. "

"Good night. " Percival replied, slightly disoriented as the young man walked away, taking with him the heat wave and the indescribable feelings that had fogged the older man's mind moments before.

He hadn't been gone more than a few seconds before Tina took the opportunity to return to the assault.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about... "

"Tina... " he sighed, overwhelmed.

Even though he was the one who had called her, now he just wanted her to go away and finally end the whole conversation. Or rather, that it never happened. He wasn't even able to sort it out in his mind, and her friend's words weren't helping.

"You were never like that with anyone, Percy! Even with Bella you... "

"Don't finish that sentence!" he warned dryly.

Of all the things she had said tonight, this was the least welcome comment. She, better than anyone, must have known that Bellatrix was never talked about, let alone to make these kinds of inappropriate comparisons. She gritted her teeth to prevent herself from continuing, but she didn't seem sorry for it. It was high time she left, before this argument left scars. Queenie got up slowly, walked towards her sister and put an arm around her to try to pull her out. Certainly she wanted to avoid the oppressive tension that had been going on for hours.

"It's late, honey, we'll let you rest. " she said to Percy.

He nodded vaguely, indebted to Queenie for understanding his discomfort. He stood up in his turn to escort them out. And as he should have expected, Tina turned to him on the doorstep to tell him, her eyes fogged with tears again, but still furious:

"You said you'd be careful, but you're doing wrong! "

"You're not my mother. " he sighed, no longer having the strength to fight her.

"Well, I'm sorry I'm the only fucking family you have left! " She stormed off before turning her heels and leaving for her car.

Percival remained frozen for several moments, unable to take the brutal blow she had just struck him. He swallowed with difficulty, watching her move away. This discussion would eventually leave marks, the ones that Graves would have preferred to avoid. He knew Tina well enough to know that this kind of thing could happen, but it didn't make it any less painful. Queenie suddenly took him in her arms, hugged him tightly and said:

"She didn't mean it Percy, she is just angry and anxious. She's afraid something will happen to you. She's going to apologize. " she reassured him, caressing his back.

"I know..." he whispered, unable to know what to say to her.

He was exhausted and that last low blow had put him lower than the ground. He was supposed to be up in less than five hours and he really didn't know how he was going to hold out. He didn't know how he was going to approach the whole question of magic and the mermaid kingdom with Credence. God, why did his life have to be such a mess? Why were these things happening to him? What exactly was the point? To drive him crazy?

"We love you, Percy. " Queenie added, moving far enough away to take his face in her hands.

Very gently, Graves took her wrists between his fingers and pulled the young woman's hands from his face. He didn't feel the strength to let her into his head again, even though she seemed to have already done so. She made a sad and sorry pout before letting her arms fall back down along her body.

"I know... " he repeated, his voice disappearing in a murmur.

Queenie nodded before she too went in the direction of the car. Percy didn't wait for them to leave, as he usually did, and entered the house, locking the door behind him. And like a hurricane, everything came crashing back into his face: the years of suffering, the evil looks, the hurtful words, his inability to find his place in this world and find meaning in his life. Maybe Tina was right, maybe it was dangerous and stupid to make Credence the center of her universe in such a short time.

He hastened to turn everything off and lock himself in his room. He let himself slide along the door, his body agitated with silent sobs before his eyes could even manage to cry. He cowered on the floor, like the wounded soul he was, trying to shut up all the voices telling him how miserable, worthless, stupid, lonely and pathetic he was. The voices of his father, of Bella especially, of his mother, of Tina too tonight.

He was getting lost in tears when the familiar warmth spread through him. He wished he had the strength to scream at Credence to fuck off and mind his own business, now that he had confirmation that he was the one making him feel that way, but the feeling of being in a cocoon of sweetness was too pleasant and sleepy, and he just wanted to be lulled by it. He dragged himself to his bed, dropping himself against the mattress, pulling the bedspread over him. He only hoped that his dreams wouldn't lead him to nightmares, painful memories, or just to two dark eyes that upset him and a fish tail that made him wonder if he had gone completely insane.

* * *

The next morning, Percy woke up with a headache worse than when he was hung over. He rubbed his temples for a while before getting up. He turned off his alarm clock, whose shrill sound seemed ready to rip out his eardrums, and put on his fishing clothes before leaving his room. Unlike on other days, Credence was awake and reading quietly on the couch in the light of the living room lamp. The sun had not yet risen and it was spreading such a special blue light at dawn over the land.

Percival stared at the young man for a long time, his eyes sliding along his body and finally stopping on his feet, where he had seen fins the day before. Or had he only dreamed that? Credence looked up at him and a sweet smile appeared on his lips. _Stop it, don't smile at me like that_ , he thought.

He closed his book, putting it on the coffee table in front of him. But Graves wasn't brave or crazy enough to hold a conversation about mermaids and other magical creatures now. So he decided to run away from this discussion.

"There's a sandwich in the fridge and a tomato salad. " he said in a neutral voice, looking away from Credence. "If you need anything else, you can help yourself. "

"Okay. " he simply answered.

_Okay_? Just "Okay"? Percy wasn't sure why this answer upset him, but it had awakened an acidic feeling in him. He gritted his teeth, silently making himself a cup of coffee. Tina was right, he was being tricked, manipulated. And by whom? A kid with beautiful eyes? Worse than that, a magical being who was probably playing him without him struggling. He hadn't slept well and the bad mood made him bitter and irritable. All feelings of adoration for Credence had given way this morning to something resentful. He quickly drank the black liquid, almost burning his throat. When he had finished, he put on his raincoat, put on a hat to protect himself from the winter cold, and then approached Credence to say coldly :

"There's no phone here, so if something really bad happens, you... "

"Percival, everything will be fine. " he cut it off.

He hated his melodious voice, his big wonderful eyes, his smile, his sweetness, his need to reassure him. He hated him, he had to, for his survival. But even when he repeated this to himself, he couldn't convince himself, and when he could not help it, he whispered:

"I can't leave you alone. "

His voice sounded almost foreign to him, and he was reassured that Credence was not using his power over him at that moment. The young man stood up, put a hand on his cheek and Percival closed his eyes. To flee from reality? To let himself be touched? To keep the illusion that nothing abnormal was happening? Even he wouldn't have been able to tell. His actions had been slipping away from him more and more lately.

"Of course you can. I'm fine. " Credence tenderly assured him.

He was too close, too powerful in that space that was Graves'. He was too strong, probably too magical for him. Percy found the courage to move away from him, keeping his eyes closed long enough not to get lost in the man's gaze in front of him. He hastened towards the entrance, sitting on a chair to put on his boots.

"Percy? "

"What?" he asked curtly.

"Is everything all right between us? I mean, you're not mad at me? "

His voice broke over those last words, taking with it the regular beating of the fisherman's heart. He had to go away now.

"Why would I be angry with you?" he replied, still dry.

"I don't know, I... "

"Then everything is ok! " he interrupted him before leaving the house, slamming the door behind him.

No, everything was not going okay. Percival Graves was losing his mind, going crazy over a boy. Or crazy about him, if he wanted to be realistic. Why was it coming back now, after all these years? He had cured himself of this affliction, he had overcome this attraction for men a long time ago, hadn't he? No... He was horribly afraid. Afraid of people's eyes, afraid that Tina and Queenie would end up hating him. He was weak, devious, different from the others, different from what everyone seemed to expect from him. But Tina would understand, wouldn't she? And Queenie had already understood the truth, and she didn't seem to hold it against him, did she?

He would think about it later, for now, he had to do his job. He had to be in control of himself. With a determined walk, he got back to his car before going to the port to get on his boat. He had gotten into the habit of taking it back to the "fisherman's cabin" in the last few days, but he had planned to do some shopping today, mostly to buy chicken for Credence (he wasn't particularly interested in the meat, but apparently the chicken was different) so the extra drive made sense.

The sea was rough again today, and he, who always had a strong stomach on the waves, found himself vomiting his guts overboard several times, even though he had only coffee in his belly. His abdomen contracted violently, almost making him faint. He knew what it was, he had already experienced it. It was something somatic, he was making himself sick for something he couldn't understand or control.

Once his fishing day was over, he went by his apartment, got washed, changed his clothes, put his fishing clothes in the back of his pickup truck and decided to go to the village library. Rolanda Hooch, the librarian, was not particularly someone that Percival was close to. He found her very intelligent and, paradoxically, incredibly stupid on certain subjects. But he had known her since childhood and she was one of those people he had known all his life who had decided not to pass judgment on him when he had dismantled his father's business or when he had divorced Bellatrix. She continued to smile warmly at him, as she had always done, when she saw him at the market and waved to him when she saw him at Hagrid's.

He entered the building, himself surprised to be here after all these years. It must have been ten years since he had been here. Rolanda looked up at him and once the surprise was over, a smile appeared on her face. She left her office and approached him, taking him in a clumsy and surprising embrace. Percy felt slightly uncomfortable, so he waited for her to move away before greeting her properly. She chatted with him for a long time, checking up on him, asking if he was still seeing the Goldstein sisters, if he was still reading as he did so often as a child, and finally if there was anything she could do for him. With a slightly tense smile, he asked her:

"Do you have any books on mermaids? "

Rolanda stared at him as if he had just spoken to him in a foreign language. And he was aware that his request might sound really strange, especially coming from a 35-year-old man.

"The mermaids? " she wondered. "It's been a long time since anyone has asked me that. I must have something. Why this interest in these creatures? "

Shit... He really couldn't answer: " _because I have one at home and I'd like to learn more about it._ " No, there's no way that's going to happen! He swallowed, ran a hand through his long hair and said in a very insecure voice:

"I... I remembered the stories Mrs. Goldstein told us as a child... And I... "

"You wanted to remember good memories?" she proposed with a sweet smile.

"Yes, that's it. "

She nodded, tapped his shoulder as if he were still ten years old, before retrieving her glasses from her desk and putting them on the tip of her nose. She motioned for him to follow her between the shelves, mumbling names and book titles. She took out two of them and handed them to the fisherman before explaining:

"I have the basic tales, as you can imagine. But I also have this book that came back last week, I just need to find it. An order from the unusual duet who is still at the inn of Hagrid. You can't imagine the trouble I had to find this book, it's like a rare pearl for the common mortal. "

"So, the German is still around? "

Usually, people who came here left relatively quickly. Largely because of the weather, but also because the inhabitants of the village were not the most welcoming. It was strange that the two men decided to stay, especially since Graves had strong doubts that the people of the village welcomed them given their "difference", especially the priest and Bella's family and friends. After a sigh, Rolanda replied :

"Apparently he would have extended the rental of his room until the end of December. Well, of " _their_ " room, these people are really not discreet. And everyone knows that they are depraved, but they don't pose too many problems at the moment and apparently the German pays well. Besides, they don't go to mass, so Father Bartemius is leaving them alone for the moment. "

"As he should do with everyone..." Percival grumbled in a low voice.

The priest Bartemius Crouch Junior (since apparently the Junior was important) was a despicable being whom Graves had hated all his life. Since childhood, he had always been a vile person, thinking himself superior to everyone and hating his neighbor. He was treacherous, sneaky, selfish, and he indulged in sermons that had more than once targeted Percival and the Goldstein sisters. Tina because she had repeatedly refused to marry the unbearable Lucius Malfoy (who had consoled himself by marrying Narcissa), Percival because he had married Bellatrix against his and his wife's parents' advice before getting divorced, and finally against Queenie because Jacob was Jewish. In other words, Father Bartemius was one of the people that Graves hated the most.

Rolanda's voice took him out of his thoughts and he almost jumped when she exclaimed:

"There it is! _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ by a certain Newton Scamander. I took a look at it when they returned it to me last week. It's fabulous the imagination this boy has, it almost looks like he's telling the truth. There's a chapter on mermaids that's quite substantial. "

Percival took the last book in his hands, putting it on top of the others, flipping through a few pages, happy to discover the various sketches present. Perhaps this book was not at all accurate, but he preferred to learn as much as he could before having a serious discussion on the subject with Credence. Especially if it was to learn that mermaids were malevolent creatures and that he had been wrong about the young man from the beginning. Maybe these magical beings even functioned like certain insects that coax their prey before devouring them... _If he had wanted to eat you, he would have done so a long time ago._ God, he was ridiculous!

He felt himself blushing to the roots of his hair and hastened to follow the librarian who then took care of filling out his book imprint form. She told him that she was leaving him the three books for the next month and smiled warmly at him. Percy smiled back as best he could before leaving the library. He quickly put the books on the passenger seat before leaving his parking space to go to the grocery store.

He felt foolish for trying to learn more about magical creatures, largely because his mind kept telling him that he had been dreaming, that it couldn't be true, that he was just confused because his heart was bending back to what he had been running away from all his life. He bought what he needed for the next few days, probably taking more than he needed and much more than Credence ate.

Once he had paid, he left the store, again lost in the thoughts that always brought him back to Credence. He was brought back to reality by the last person he wanted to meet.

"Well, well, well, isn't that Grumpy shit! "

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. _It's going to be all right, she can't hurt you..._ he thought to reassure himself. He had to stay calm, not let her get to him. He turned towards her, hiding his discomfort. And Bellatrix took the opportunity to give him one of those crazy, carnivorous looks that brought back too many bad memories. And an atrocious desire to vomit.

"Always a pleasure to meet you, Bella. Drink before noon? How original. " he sighed.

She lost her smile, quickly approaching him to give him a blow in the shoulder. If her eyes could have killed, Percival would probably already be reduced to ashes. But luckily, she didn't have that power, and she no longer had the hold she'd had on him for too long.

"Fuck you!" she replied, venomous. "You ruined my life and you talk about it sarcastically. "

"I have work to do, and you're not allowed anywhere near me anymore. " he reminded her, turning away from her.

It obviously wasn't a good idea. She grabbed his arm, turning it violently towards her and slapped him, which left him stunned for a few moments. Then she abruptly tugged on his shopping bags, letting the items fall to the ground and roll on the sidewalk.

"I'm your fucking wife, divorce or not, that's the way it's going to stay! " she shouted, out of control. "No one gives a fuck about you, and no one will want you! "

Percival wouldn't give her back her violence, she knew it, that's why she allowed herself to behave like that with him. He was weak, and he felt miserable. She reduced him to a shapeless mass with no purpose in life. He hated her, God he hated her, he ended up forgetting what it had been like to be happy with her. Because they had been happy, happy enough to decide to run away together to marry away from all those who opposed their union. They had loved each other, perhaps too much, perhaps badly, but they had loved each other. In a long sigh, probably to avoid starting to cry, Graves crouches down to pick up his purchases. But Bella was not finished. She grabbed his hair, pulling hard to force him to look at her before saying :

"I'll kill anyone who comes near you, you piece of shit! "

Then she released him, leaving him alone and shocked on the pavement. He shouldn't cry, not now, not like that. He felt a terrible urge to call Tina, but after last night's fight, he wasn't sure he wanted to see her either. And Queenie might panic if he went to see her like that. Why didn't he fight back? Why did he always let her put him down so much?

"Do you need some help, sir? "

Confused, he looked up at the figure in front of him. He was a young man in his twenties, thin, all in length, incredibly pale with huge dark circles under his eyes. He looked sick, even more so as he was dressed entirely in black. He had black curly hair and dark blue eyes, and had a remarkable appearance, the kind of people in high society. And without being able to help himself, Percy thought to himself that he strangely reminded him of Credence in some ways.

"It should be all right," he replied, slightly embarrassed to have stared at him as he had done.

The stranger did not accept his answer as he crouched down in front of him and helped him pick up his purchases. Percival noticed that he had long, thin fingers with scars on them. The young man then handed him the bag with a discreet smile, something between shyness and coldness.

"Thank you. " Percival breathed, getting up at the same time as the man who had just helped him.

"Riddle! " a voice cried.

Then it was he, Tom Riddle, the one who shared the room with the strange German from the inn. Percy turned at the same time as he did to notice the enigmatic GG who seemed slightly panicked not to find the boy.

"I am here. " he replied loudly enough for the blond man to hear him.

The German laid eyes on him and the relief of having found him soon gave way to mistrust when he noticed Graves. He approached them with great strides, his long black coat floating behind him. He positioned himself next to Riddle, barely restraining himself from putting an arm around his waist, letting his hand drop down along his body.

"I was just helping... I'm sorry, I don't know your name. " the younger one apologized.

"Graves". he replied with a polite smile.

"I was just helping Mr. Graves. " he finished, raising his eyes to the German.

There was something in their attitude that made him uncomfortable. Not the fact that they were potentially a couple, it didn't really bother him and it wasn't any of his business, but rather a feeling that there was something underlying, something unsaid. And this feeling was reinforced when GG decided to smile at him with the most false expression possible.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Graves, my name is Gaunt, and this is Riddle. "

Lie, it was a lie, Percival could smell it from here. The blond man reached out his hand and Percival politely shook it, becoming more and more convinced that it would be best for him to avoid these two individuals in the future.

"Nice to meet you. " he said, in a relatively unconvincing tone.

Gaunt (even though it wasn't his real name) stared at Graves for a few moments, as if he was trying to find something in his eyes. Riddle gently grabbed his companion's coat, catching his attention, giving him an indecipherable look. Without waiting a moment longer, the German said with a frozen smile:

"I'm sorry, but we have to leave. It was nice to meet you. "

And without another glance, he put his arm around the young man's shoulders and dragged him along with him. Percival watched them walk away, and suddenly something twisted his guts, something that made him look at his own image. And to the picture of Credence at his side. He put his shopping in the back of the pickup truck. He was furious with himself, furious with Bella, furious with Credence and the place he had taken in just a few weeks.

He started the car and drove to the house by the sea, trying to appease the deaf anger inside him. He was pathetic, always ready to be stepped on by everyone. By his father, by Bella who treated him like shit, by Tina who thought she knew everything about him, and finally by Credence who came to change everything in his life, throwing him without delicacy into an endless precipice.

He parked abruptly, slammed his door violently before retrieving the groceries and books. He wasn't sure he wanted to see Credence now, he wasn't well enough for that. He entered the house, threw the books and groceries on the kitchen table before opening the fridge for a beer. He opened it on the edge of the counter before leaning on it, quickly drinking the alcohol before taking out a new bottle. He opened it the same way, but his stomach contracted violently and he had to slow down the speed at which he drank. Especially knowing that he hadn't eaten anything today. Credence appeared in the door frame at that moment. His face lit up with a big smile when he noticed Percy, but he didn't dare approach, just saying :

"I'm glad you're home! "

_Shut up, please, shut up_ , he thought, closing his eyes. He didn't want to hear that, to listen to someone pretending to care about him. From the little he had heard of mermaids they were beings ready to do anything to reach their goal, drowning without any remorse fishermen as naive and fragile as he was.

"I have nowhere else to go..." he sighed as he looked at his beer bottle.

It was not true. He might as well have decided to stay in town tonight and sleep at his apartment, so why didn't he? Why had he come back here?

"Percy? "

"I'm tired, what do you want? " he asked curtly, annoyed.

Credence seemed surprised, the red went up to his cheeks as he played with one of the sleeves of the wool sweater he was wearing. He was visibly running away from the older man's gaze, as if he was afraid to make him angry or disturb him.

"Don't you want to talk about what happened last night? "

And he should have agreed, he should have sat there with the young man (well, merman) and discussed all that it meant to each of them, but especially to Percy's view of the world and reality. The discovery of such a creature was not without consequences, and it was necessary to be careful. At least for the days that remained until Credence's leg was fully healed. But he didn't want, he didn't want to confront this now, to confess how marvelous the young man was, how much he had taken possession of his soul and his heart, and no doubt without feeling anything like that on his side. The sensation of having been duped and not being able to choose between running away from him or worshipping him made him sick. So he drank another sip of beer under Credence's disapproving gaze before answering:

"You had a fever and I was tired, that's all. "

Credence was no longer surprised, he was upset, and most of all he seemed worried. For him or for Graves, he wouldn't have been able to say it.

"Percy, you know that... "

"Stop calling me that!" he cut him off abruptly.

He was irritated by his melodious voice and his false kindness, by that look of tenderness and adoration that he had too often for him.

"But you said that your friends... "

"You're not my friend!" he shouted. "You're nothing to me, just a kid I fished out by mistake! So stop acting like you're going to be here for the rest of your life or like I'm important to you! "

Credence was slightly startled at his outburst, but he didn't move, staring at him from head to toe as if he was discovering Percival for the first time. The fisherman might have been angry with himself for reacting this way if the heat wave had not started to rise in his mind. He was charming him, manipulating him, and God it was driving him crazy.

"Stop it..." he warned, his jaw clenched.

But the feeling grew stronger, as if he was trying to stifle his anger or silence his emotions. Graves suddenly approached him, and the anxiety on the youngest's face gave way to fear.

"Percival, you... "

"Stop it, Credence!" he shouted again, throwing his beer bottle that exploded on the ground. "Stop this thing you're doing to manipulate me! Stop getting inside my head! "

The heat wave seemed to retract as tears formed at the corners of Credence's eyes. He seemed completely lost, as if he knew nothing but the power that was making Percival lose his mind. Instead of moving away from Graves, he took a step in his direction, raising his hand and trying to put it on his cheek.

"I just want to... "

"Don't fucking touch me!" he cut him venomously, pushing his wrist away. "Don't come near me! "

And with these words, Percival went around him to reach the garden, leaving behind him a trembling Credence with silent cries. The anger animated him for a long time still, an anger that was not only directed at the young man, and he knew it. He was especially angry at himself and he was tired. He was so exhausted. He sighed loudly, forcing himself to leave the garden by the back door to go for a walk along the sea for a while.

The icy wind almost burned his face, but he also felt that it was calming his tortured mind. The last two days had been a nightmare. He had argued with Tina about Credence, only to yell at him the next day. The meeting with the two strangers didn't help, and even less so the one with his ex-wife. Not to mention Queenie who had so easily unmasked his feelings. There was too much unresolved, too much he had put aside for too long. Maybe he should have gone to a psychiatrist like Tina had advised him years before. Maybe he should have...

When the sun was completely down and he could not see anything around him, he decided to turn back. It took him a while to find his way back in the dark, but he knew the surroundings well enough to find his place with his eyes closed.

The light was on in the living room, but Credence was not reading. He was curled up on the couch, his face buried against his knees. After a long sigh, Percival decided to enter. The young man raised his face towards him, his eyes red from crying too much and Graves' heart squeezed violently into his chest. He barely had time to take off his shoes when Credence stood up to move quickly towards him, passing his arms around his neck before his legs slipped under him, as they did so often when he tried to run. Graves immediately closed his arms around him and hugged him for a long time. Credence didn't use his power, leaving Percy to realize that his heart was beating in a disorderly rhythm even though he wasn't under his spell.

How could he miss someone he knew so little about so much in just a few hours? How could he have been angry with him for even a moment?

"I'm sorry... " he apologized.

" It's okay..." Credence replied, his voice slightly muffled against Percival's shoulder.

"No, it is not. I hurt you, and I apologize. But please don't do that... whatever it is you do, don't do it when I'm angry. "

Credence tightened his grip around his neck, as if he was afraid Graves would push him away. Percy took a deep breath, the tension leaving his muscles as he realized he was holding him close, breathing in his scent.

"I want to protect you..." Credence confessed with a trembling voice.

It was so sweet to hear, so pleasant and reassuring. If Percival had listened to his misplaced pride he would have answered that he didn't need that, that he could protect himself alone in the face of life's hazards, but that was incredibly false. And the young Credence had found no other way to soothe his tortured mind than by using a power that Graves knew nothing about yet.

"But that doesn't help. " Percy sighed.

Credence moved far enough away from him to be able to plunge his dark eyes into his and Graves again felt his heart miss a beat. He was so beautiful. Percival kept one arm around his waist to help him stand (at least that's what he was trying to convince himself to believe) and put his free hand on his cheek. Credence let himself go to the contact, pressing against his palm.

"Do you think I'm a freak? " he murmured.

"No... "

"Do you think I'm a monster? "

"No, not at all. "

And that was the truth, even though thoughts of the contrary had crossed his mind today. He couldn't bring himself to think that Credence was monstrous, he was so the exact opposite of that.

"I don't want you to hate me. " the younger one sadly confessed before burying his face against Graves' shoulder again.

Percival embraced him more tightly. Now it was he who was afraid he would disappear.

"Credence, I don't hate you! I just... I was a little upset about what happened last night and I... I ran into… well someone, and it didn't go very well. I'm sorry I took it out on you earlier, it was cruel and unfair. "

The silence settled for a moment, only lulled by their breaths. Percy caressed the nape of Credence's neck, and the gesture seemed to gently soothe him as he slowly loosened his grip around his neck. Without a word, he led him to the couch. He smiled tenderly as he placed a plaid around his shoulders before walking away to the kitchen. He cleaned up the remains of his beer bottle, being careful not to cut himself. He threw it all in the garbage before making tea for him and hot lemon water for Credence. This was the only hot drink the young man enjoyed. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure that everything was all right for him, and he met his beautiful eyes. He had the feeling that he had come very close to destroying everything...

He took off his coat, put it on one of the chairs in the kitchen before joining the young man in the living room and handing him his mug. Credence took it in his delicate hands, thanking the fisherman in an almost inaudible whisper. Percival tried to move towards one of the armchairs, but the younger man's fingers grabbed his sleeve, looking at him begging, as if he was afraid that he would be abandoned again if Percy walked away. Then he fell to the couch beside him, drinking his tea in silence.

"I really want to stay here... " Credence said after a while. "It feels like home... "

"Wouldn't you like to go back to the ocean? Find other creatures like you? "

"Merman. I'm a merman, you can say it. "

He didn't want to hurt Credence with his words, but he obviously had upset him. Percival gave him an unconvincing smile before making a vague gesture with his hand, as if that would sweep away the young man's worries.

"You know what I mean... Why don't you go back in the water once your leg is healed? "

"Do you want me to leave? "

Graves suddenly turned around and stared at him for a long time. Credence suddenly didn't let anything more show of what he was feeling and it was quite unsettling. Did he want him to leave? Did he want to return to his old life? Did he want to return to the banal side of his existence? His mind and his heart did not seem to be able to agree. On the one hand he wanted to take care of him, watch over him, help him recover and protect him. On the other hand he knew that he was no good for Credence, that he was not what he needed and that he was too weak to carry the weight of the revelation of the existence of magical creatures on his poor shoulders and that he would have to let him go.

To the lack of response, Credence placed his cup on the coffee table in front of him and looked him straight in the eye, repeating in a neutral but confident voice:

"Percy, do you want me to leave? "

_No... Stay... Stay even if you have to go, stay even if I'm not worth it, stay even if I'm in pieces, stay even if you're going to end up hating me... Stay._

When he finally answered that question, Graves almost had the impression that someone had spoken for him.

"I don't know..." he said.

And in his entire life he had never hated himself so much for lying to someone. Credence's face lost all color and his eyes became bright with tears. He had asked him to prove to him that he mattered, that he really mattered to someone, and Percy had just denied him that. Hearts don't break with loud noises and crashes, they break in the silence of a humid living room by the sea. And nothing could promise that Percival would be able to pick up the pieces again.

Now that he knew, now that he had seen the most beautiful thing in the universe and felt blinded by it, he was going to have to find the strength to let it go. And even more courage to make it stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, Percival has problems managing his emotions and his fondness for Credence... And Bella is not a good person at all ^^ Feel free to leave a comment <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the wait, but here is chapter 3 ! ^^ I hope you'll like it ^^ A long chapter, as always ^^

Sleep was almost impossible in the days that followed and the lack of rest, as usual, affected his morale. Percival always had the same dream in which he followed a silhouette moving away towards the sea without ever being able to catch up with it, the shadow disappearing in the waves. It was a figure, a black shape, and no matter how much Percival screamed, he always ended up struggling alone against the tumult of the sea, waking up just as he began to drown and death presented itself to him. His rib cage was compressed every time, he had cold sweats that gave him chills when he opened his eyes, and that aftertaste of salt water at the edge of his lips. Then he finally calmed down, went back to sleep, before the nightmare began again and he felt like he was dying abandoned in the sea. So he was more tired than ever, eating only the bare minimum, drinking his beers far too quickly and surviving only on the coffee and bread that Queenie forced him to eat in front of her.

Since their discussion, Credence was doing his best not to be noticed anymore. He had stopped singing, hardly ever left his bed and avoided Percival as much as possible, despite the small size of the house. He was no longer using his soothing power on the fisherman and every time Percival offered to discuss what had happened and the fact that he was a merman (because he was a _fucking magical creature_ and it _mattered_ ), Credence would answer him in a neutral tone that sounded strangely false: " _Not now_ ". And Graves never tried to insist, there was something in the young man's attitude that made him realize that it wouldn't have been a good thing.

The distance between them made him sick, and he could hardly put a word in edgewise about the atrocious feeling that compelled his heart every time he considered Credence's departure, and his sad return to a banal and solitary life. Apart from the suffering, nothing had ever confronted him with the fact that his life could be "something more". And then he had fished out a wonderful pearl-skinned being, and everything had changed.

November was already well established, and with it, more and more rain and cold, humidity sticking to Percival like a second skin. He sometimes felt as if the sky was crying for him, and in moments of absence, he offered his face to the clouds to let the drops of water run down his cheeks.

He hadn't really spoken to Tina since the fight, and to tell the truth, he was waiting for her to apologize before starting to interact with her again. She continued to come to treat Credence, but only when Percy wasn't around and the young man never talked about his encounters with the nurse. In fact, he didn't talk to Percy at all, or only to say "yes," "no," or "not now," and it was starting to drive the fisherman slightly crazy. Goldstein was stubborn and he only heard from her thanks to Queenie. The young blond woman would often drop in to see the merman, having conversations with him without the younger one opening his mouth once. The one time Percival had overheard their exchange, he spent the next ten minutes wondering if he was losing his mind completely.

He had read the books of the library carefully, rediscovering tales from his childhood, the ones that had animated some of his evenings with the Goldstein sisters. The most interesting was the one by Newton Scamander. He had learned that mermen were much rarer than their female counterparts, that they usually lived in groups of a dozen or so and that they possessed special powers. They had a language of their own that the author had not been able to transcribe, but at the same time affirmed that there were many variations of the marine language. Apparently, it was extremely rare for a merman to decide to interact with a human, but some cases of inter-species pairings (my God, how strange that word sounded, it made him feel like an old pervert) had already been encountered. Mermen became human as soon as they left the sea and only on certain occasions felt a physical need to return to the sea, even though life on land was much less frequent than in the water.

The author stated that he had only met one merman during his research and that the individual had an uncontrollable fear of anything that made too much noise, such as thunderstorms for example, and that he had developed a special fascination for land animals. The song was part of a tradition aimed at reaffirming a link with the sea, but it could also belong, in rare cases, to a desire to " ** _envelop a human individual in what they describe as the cycle of colors, the most powerful is the one of infinity. This practice is, in a way, part of the ritual of opening up to feelings_** " (needless to say that Percival had blushed to the roots of his hair when reading this).

These creatures also possessed something called the stone of the ocean, a kind of piece at the base of the back that was only revealed in very specific cases. The chapter was provided in diagram and drawing, but there was relatively little informations about how they behaved in society, how they communicated with each other, how they had learned the languages of the land, and especially whether they could be dangerous in any way, such as seducing a poor lonely fisherman.

In short, he had learned some interesting things, but nothing profoundly important, and the more he read, the more he realized that it wasn't the species in itself that he wanted to know, but Credence, in all his magic and mystery, the beautiful and the unpredictable, the fascinating and the frightening. He wanted to know Credence, to know him well enough to convince himself that what he felt in his heart was not just a mirage.

The morning had been difficult, his body was full of aches and pains due to lack of sleep. He had a horrible migraine and the bad weather did nothing to improve his morale. He had decided to go to the city again today. He didn't really know why, perhaps he was hoping to find answers to his questions by walking through the dreary streets of the village. It had never helped before, but he continued to hope. And he would have been better to abstain, because at a crossroads, he found himself face to face with Father Bartemius. He felt all the muscles of his body tighten when the cold and pernicious look of the man came over him.

"Percival Graves, I don't remember seeing you at Mass that Sunday. " he said in a reproving tone.

Graves had a terrible urge to hit him. How could anyone be so unpleasant and allow himself to preach the good word? He clenched his teeth, displaying a polite, slightly tense smile before answering:

"Like every other Sunday before this one, Father. "

Bartemius raised an eyebrow, staring at him with scornful disdain. He could think what he wanted, Percival really didn't care. He was about to say goodbye and walk away when the priest spoke again.

"Your wife was there, though. "

Graves lost his smile, and he had to be very self-controlling so as not to strangle him. Worst of all was probably the satisfied look on the clergyman's face at Percy's reaction. The fisherman clenched his fists to the point of making his knuckles pale, he approached Bartemius, giving him a look darker than death.

"She is no longer my wife now ". he said dryly.

"She still is in the eyes of God. "

Percy came a little closer, threatening, and the priest had the presence of mind to lose his grin. This man would have deserved to choke on his own good sense and judgment, and Graves would have been more than happy to help him do so.

"Well, I guess he's not looking closely enough. " he retorted coldly.

And without another glance, he turned his heels and left as quickly as possible. This village was really inhabited by a majority of fools and malevolent people. And even though he did not consider himself a saint, he was far from being the worst of them all. He would have been better off leaving after his divorce with Bella, but where would he have gone? What would he have done? He would have been even more alone, far from the Goldsteins, far from his marks, far from everything he had always known. And he would never have met Credence... He wouldn't have saved him... It might have spared him all this turmoil in his mind and heart, but would he have felt alive?

 _You will soon be alone_ , he thought _, there will be nothing left of the storm Credence but a soft foam on the shore that will also eventually disappear until you forget the color of his eyes and the sweetness of his voice._

He was lost in thought again when Queenie's voice brought him back to reality. He had just finished work for the day, showered and was about to go home when the young woman called him from across the street. She ran up to him with a big smile on her face. She took him in her arms, in a movement made awkward by the pink box she was holding in her right hand. Then she moved away from him, almost jumping up and down.

"It's all there, I think it should make him happy. " she smiled as she handed him the box.

Percival stared at it as if it came from another world or as if it was going to explode to his face. He raised his eyes to her, a slight smile on his lips.

"Sweetheart, what are you talking about? " he asked her, still as tired but also slightly confused.

Queenie stared at him for a few moments, surprised. What did she know that Percy didn't ? Had she and Credence gotten close enough to become friends, leaving Graves on the edge of their relationship. She frowned, also disturbed by the situation.

"For the return to the sea. " She replied, perplexed. "To celebrate."

Graves felt his heart squeeze in his chest and his guts seemed to twist, awakening excruciating pain. He must have been incredibly pale because Queenie put a hand on his cheek, her face worried. He swallowed with difficulty, trying to gulp down the painful ball at the back of his throat.

"The return? " he said in a trembling voice.

She hesitated a moment, seeking the right words, then she shook her head, eyes down on the ground, as if she was resigned, before responding:

"Percy, you... Tina told me that Credence's leg had healed and that he was planning to go tonight. He didn't... He didn't tell you? "

His heart seemed to turn to dust between his ribs and his breath suddenly got stuck in his lungs. Credence was leaving... Credence was going back to the ocean... And he was going to stay on the sand and pebbles and watch him walk away. He was going to have to go back to his loneliness, his routine, his sadness, his life devoid of songs, magic, tenderness, clumsy legs, bright smile, wonderful eyes and that special voice that had whispered for almost two months now " _Percy..."._

"What?" he murmured, breathlessly.

He hated the feeling of completely losing control of his emotions, but he couldn't help it. Tears came to his eyes and his hands began to shake dangerously. He couldn't breathe and the panic was about to make him lose his mind. God, how could he have let things get this far in such a short time? How could he have gotten so lost?

"Oh honey, you have it bad, don't you ? "

Queenie's sad voice was the trigger and he forced himself to react, to become master of himself again. He took the box, which she was holding out to him, in his hands before putting a quick kiss on her cheek and then almost running away to his car. He put the box on the passenger seat before starting the engine and leaving the village. He was driving fast, probably too fast, but he was on the verge of hysteria, his heart pounding so hard in his chest, as if he was trying to get out of it. What would he do if Credence had already left? Maybe he had decided to go while Percival was away. After all, he was the one who told him that he wasn't sure he wanted him to stay. He had seen the pain in his eyes, the sorrow, the deep desire to hear other words, to escape the situation. But Graves had remained silent, and in front of him, Credence had taken it upon himself to swallow the tears that had threatened to rip him apart.

It was his fault! Him and his stubbornness, him and his need to keep some semblance of control over his feelings, his future, his life. What was the point of him wanting to keep his life intact, it wasn't as if he was happy before the young man arrived. In less than two months, Credence had made a place for himself, he was a reason for Percival to keep moving forward, to come back home in the evening, to regain a taste for food, music, the little things in life that may seem insignificant and yet radiate existence.

_You are repulsive, you are worthless, there is no reason for him to stay..._

He parked abruptly, barely turning off the engine before rushing into the house, forgetting to close the door of his car. He could barely see through his tears and knew he must look pitiful with his wet cheeks, tousled hair, hieratic breathing and shaky hands.

"Credence? " he called.

No answer, just silence. A heavy and suffocating silence that sent him back a feeling of déjà vu, the cruelty of a life without love. Everything was too quiet, too tidy, too much like before... Percival was going around in circles in the living room, grabbing his hair as if he wanted to pull it out, pacing, more and more panicked.

"Credence? " he repeated, sounding desperate.

He went out into the garden, breathing noisily, anguish and sorrow boiling in his veins. He should have told him to stay, he should have told him that he didn't want him to leave rather than clinging to honor and reason. No one was really happy in this village, so why did he worry about the way people looked at his life? It was in his head, in his heart, all this rejection, this internalized despise that drove him to hate himself and his emotions. But he should have fought for Credence, he should have put aside his fear. Maybe the younger one wouldn't have shared his feelings, maybe he would have ended up meeting someone else, but at least Percival would have kept him by his side a little longer... A few days, a few hours, a few minutes...

"Credence, please!" he shouted, completely lost.

"I am here. Percival, I am here! "

The fisherman turned back to the house to see the merman approaching as quickly as his weak legs would allow. Through his tears, Percival could barely read the expression on his face. All he knew at that very moment was that Credence had waited for him, he had waited to see him one last time before leaving. That surely meant something, didn't it? It had to mean something! Graves joined him in just two strides before suddenly taking him in his arms, holding him tightly, so tightly that he was almost afraid of hurting him. But Credence let out a comfortable sigh before hugging his waist, burying his face in his neck.

The smell on his skin, the delicacy of his body, his breathing, all the things he had been running away from these past few weeks had made him miss him terribly, and he refused to think what it would do to him once Credence would completely leave his life. He stepped away from the young man so that he could take his pale face in his hands. If he had listened to his heart, he would have kissed him as if his life depended on it, especially in front of those two big bright eyes. But he forced himself to restrain himself, simply placing his forehead against his own, savoring the breath of Credence against his skin. He let his thumbs caress the merman's cheeks, impregnating himself with the contact of his skin. Credence let himself go against the contact, tightening his grip around the fisherman's waist.

After several minutes, Percy forced himself to step back from the younger one. Credence blinked several times, as if he was trying to wake up. He looked troubled, but happy, his cheeks slightly pink, a smile on his lips. Graves' heart missed a beat and he felt the tears coming back at full speed. He did his best to hold them back as he stammered:

"You... You... Queenie said that... "

"I return to the sea. " he cut it gently. "My leg is healed. "

His face lit up more and his smile became more beautiful, and Percival's heart compressed a little more in his chest. He looked so serene, so happy to tell him this, how could he ask him to stay? He had to let him go, holding him back would have been selfish, and as little as Percy knew him, he knew that Credence didn't deserve that. He deserved the best, the most wonderful, the most amazing. Wasn't that why he was magic?

Percival let his hands fall on the younger one's shoulders, doing his best not to start crying or appear too desperate. He cleared his throat to give himself some self-control, and probably also to hide his grief before asking:

"Will you... will I... will I see you again? "

The confusion took place on Credence's face, and his smile faded. He moved a little further away from the fisherman, staring at him as if he was looking for an answer in his eyes.

"I'm afraid I don't understand. " he confessed.

Of course he didn't understand, since Percy had told him that he didn't know if he wanted him to stay. Or more precisely, he had told him that he wasn't sure he wanted him to leave, but he knew full well that this was not how his answer had been received. How was he going to recover from the departure of such an unreal creature? Couldn't he live a little longer in this dream? He allowed himself to caress the young man's pale cheek one last time before completely detaching himself from him to be able to say to him:

"You don't have to if you don't want to... I'll understand, and I was the last of the fools and I... "

The end of his sentence remained suspended for a few moments, getting lost in the cold November wind. He lowered his eyes to the grass, trying to escape the lost gaze of the merman. And probably his emotions at the same time. Before their arguments a few weeks before, in this kind of situation, Credence would have used his power to calm him down, and frankly, Percival was having a hard time getting used to the absence of the reassuring heat wave.

"Don't you need more rest?" he finally asked, sobs coming from his intonations.

"I don't think so, no. Besides, my legs are more used to swimming than walking. "

Percival nodded, still not finding the strength to put his eyes on Credence's face. He had the impression that his heart had been reduced to nothingness and that his death would come at the moment when the young man's silhouette would disappear into the water. So that was the nightmare he saw every night? The sad and tragic destiny?

"Tonight? "

It didn't really sound like a question, more like a plea, and it didn't really make sense. Just that of exposing the suffering in which the fisherman found himself. Credence had to figure it out because he approached him quickly, not giving him time to escape as he framed his face with his hands, forcing him to look him in the eye.

"Yes, tonight. Percival, what's going on? "

He looked really worried, his eyes shining with that indescribable glow, as if Percival was worth all the gold in the world, as if nothing else mattered but him. And it broke his heart to tell himself that in a little while he would be nothing more than a vague memory for him, a fisherman among so many others who had fished him at the right time.

"Is it because of me? Is it because of what I said?" Graves asked, his voice sounding foreign to him.

"Uh... No. I don't think I understand what's going on, why does it upset you so much? "

_Because I feel for you what I have never felt before. Because I care about you. Because in just a few weeks you have become more important than anything, more important than my fear, more important than the aversion I have for myself, more important than what I thought I knew about reality and reason. Because you are a merman, a creature as dazzling as the stars, and because I came so close to you that I burned my wings._

But none of this passed his lips, his declaration held in his chest. His eyes suddenly burned and an uncontrollable wave of tears shook him, a muffled sob shaking his rib cage. It had nothing to do with the power of Credence, the merman had not seduced him, he had fallen into the precipice voluntarily. And God it hurt...

"Because I... I... You... " he sobbed, unable to finish his sentence.

Credence looked really panicked now. Graves felt in his heart the tip of that familiar heat wave before it immediately receded, as if the young man didn't know what else to do to help him but didn't want to use his power on him after the last fight. Credence put his thumbs on her cheeks to wipe away his tears, and Percival was nothing but crying. How pathetic he was...

"Percival? " the younger one called.

"I don't want you to leave! "

It had crossed his lips and he couldn't hold it back. In other circumstances he would have been sorry to admit this, but at that moment it felt more like a release. There, things were said. In a rather abrupt movement, he brought Credence against him, embracing his waist before confessing to him against his ear:

"I don't want you to leave... Not now, please give me a little more time. "

Time for what? He would have been unable to say it himself. All he risked by asking this was to abandon himself a little more to his feelings and his fascination for Credence.

_Stay, before we lose sight of each other, before you forget me, before everything fades away, until all my skin falls away from yours, until your shadow and your smell disappear._

Credence moved away from him with a melodious laugh, he put a kiss on each of his cheeks before addressing him the most adorable and stunning smile in the universe.

"Percival, I'm sorry, but I don't intend to leave. Let alone to leave you"

Graves stared at him for a long time, his tears coming slower, leaving only that unpleasant burst in his rib cage, he was afraid he had misheard or misunderstood. He didn't want to rejoice too quickly, but hope soon settled in his mind.

"But... But Queenie said that... And your leg is healed... I don't understand... "

In front of his confused look, Credence laughed again. He was so beautiful, it was obvious that he was not completely human. The younger one placed another kiss on Percival's cheek, with such delicacy that Graves felt as if he had been touched by a divine caress.

"I'm going back to the sea, because I find it hard to stay out of the water for so long and because I like to swim. " Credence explained. "I never said I would leave. "

The relief suddenly released all the tense muscles in his body and Percival was afraid for a moment that he would collapse. He staggered slightly, finding his balance against Credence's body, which he was still holding by his waist. His head spun, he hadn't swallowed anything for too long for this kind of roller coaster of emotions not to have a physical impact on him. He swallowed with difficulty, feeling his heart beating in a disorderly rhythm.

"So you're not leaving? "

He needed to make sure it was the truth, that he had misunderstood what Queenie had told him, that Credence was going to stay with him in this house. The young man replaced a long brown lock of hair behind Percival's ear, a tender smile on his lips, his face regaining that special expression of adoration that overwhelmed the fisherman. 

" Not if you want me to stay and... "

" I want you to stay!" he interrupted him abruptly, as if he couldn't stand that Credence could even consider the opposite.

And Percy could have died tonight that it wouldn't have bothered him now that he had seen the most beautiful expression in the world on the most perfect face. Credence looked happier than ever, as if he had been waiting for Percival's words every minute since their fight. Tears formed at the corner of his eyes and he let himself go a little more against Percy.

"Really? " he murmured.

"Really," Graves said.

He had never been more certain in his entire life. Credence was an evidence, and even if the younger one didn't love him the way he wanted, it wouldn't change the sense of relief he felt now that he knew Credence had no desire to abandon him.

"So I'm staying. I stay Percival. "

Graves placed his forehead against his again, closing his eyes, letting go in a sigh the rest of the fear and sorrow that had so painfully shaken him in the last few hours. Credence was staying... He was staying...

"Thank you... "

* * *

In the following days, things got much better. For Credence, whose health seemed to improve considerably now that he could return to the water and regain his merman's form. He never swam too far, his muscles still tired from his injury, and always came back before sunset. Sometimes he would bring back things he found, often things that were insignificant to Graves but which the young man found beautiful. He brought back a small silver tiara one day, looking at the object with fascination for the rest of the evening. Within a short time Percival found himself with decorations made of pieces of glass, rope, shells, coral and sometimes silver or gold. It was a bit strange, but it made the house more lively and in all honesty he would have done anything to make Credence feel at home, at peace and safe.

Often the young man would get lost in his thoughts, contemplating a point in the void. In such moments, Percival would not try to disturb him, and Credence would come back to him soon enough, always offering a tender and sincere smile to the older man. Graves was careful to eat more, the merman giving him a meaningful look when the fisherman tried to skip a meal. Credence had even threatened to bring him fish and seaweed himself, which he would leave in his bed if Percival did not pay more attention to his diet. The idea had been repulsive enough (he spent his days smelling the fish, he really didn't want to smell it in his sheets, thank you) for the older one to make an effort.

Credence continued to discover dishes he didn't know about, and even though he may eat a bit too much chicken, Percival was always happy to see him discover new things. He had told Queenie, who was the only other person who knew the young man's true nature, that the merman didn't like sugar, and she made it her duty to discover the pastry that would eventually please him. Every time Credence tasted one of the cakes, he had the same reaction: a poorly contained grimace, followed by a polite smile for the young woman's attention. It was adorable and Percival had to do his best not to burst out laughing each time. Queenie would always leave disappointed, promising that next time she would bring something better, and Credence would apologize profusely.

A smile stretched the fisherman's lips as he thought of the Goldstein' youngest daughter's last visit. He was finishing the dishes, humming distractedly a music he had heard on the radio that morning. Credence was sitting on one of the kitchen chairs, carefully reading the chapter from Newton Scamander's book. He was frowning (much too cute for his own good and certainly for Percival's), focused on his reading. Graves washed the last plate before preparing two warm lemon waters for them. He then placed the cup on the table in front of the young man, sitting opposite him, drinking silently while Credence finished reading the last page. In a gesture so perfect that it could have been a dance movement, he finally closed the book before putting it on the table. He stared at the cover for a moment, biting his lower lip, seemingly reflecting on what he had just read. Then he looked up at Percival and said in a neutral tone:

"It's a very interesting book. "

He looked perplexed, but his confusion quickly dissipated when he noticed the fisherman's tender smile. With slightly pink cheeks, he took his mug in his hands, blowing for a moment on the steaming water so as not to burn his lips.

"A lot of real? " Percy asked.

Credence had a small amused laugh before answering:

"A lot of unsaid things. But I guess it's better that way. Besides, there are many things I don't know myself, I didn't grow up among my kind. "

Percival had far too many questions, and he didn't know where to start. He didn't really want to disturb Credence, let alone make him think he thought he was a fairground animal, a curiosity. So among all his questions, he decided to ask:

"The story... The story of the stone, is it true? "

Credence rested his cup gently on the table before plunging his eyes into those of the fisherman, an eyebrow raised. And God that look was stealing his soul. Percival swallowed with difficulty, hastily taking a sip to hide his trouble. The younger one seemed to expect to hear many questions, but obviously not this one.

"My ocean stone? "

"Yes. "

He didn't really know why, but he was suddenly uncomfortable asking for it. He felt like he was imposing himself, venturing down a dangerous path. The one of falling a little more under the merman's spell once he had discovered a new facet of his magic. Credence had a strange expression, something seductive and unsettling that left Percival speechless. Then, as quickly as it had appeared, it disappeared, giving way to the usual tenderness.

"Yes, it's true, do you want to see it? " he proposed.

He didn't wait for Graves' answer, getting up to take off his sweater and then his T-shirt. Surprised and trembling, Percival stood up, turning away from the pearl body. He had seen Credence naked many times, perhaps too many times and that was probably why the young man had been haunting his dreams lately, but there was something intimate about the fact that he was undressing in front of him that caught him in his gut. He felt his heart beating, walking towards the sink, turning his back on Credence.

"Put your clothes back on..." he asked, cursing himself when he realized the emotions his voice revealed.

 _You're disgusting, you're evil, wicked. It's for your perversity that you wanted to keep him by your side,_ he thought. He tried in vain to silence the voices in his mind, hoping that Credence would notice his confusion and agree to put his clothes back on. But when he allowed himself a glance at the young man, he was still half-naked, and he was standing much too close to him. His angelic expression almost gave the impression that he didn't know what he was making the older man feel. He took another step in his direction, entering Percival's space.

"Don't do that... "

It was a plea, he knew, but he was far too aware of his heartbeat and difficult breathing. And even though he wasn't feeling the usual warmth and Credence wasn't singing, Percy was convinced that the merman was putting a spell on him. The young man didn't listen to him, and in a somewhat stupid reflex, Percival closed his eyes. He felt Credence's breath caressing his neck, then his jaw, before coming to touch his lips. He was about to go mad, he was certain of it. Credence's mouth was much too close to his own, and the sensation almost made his head spin.

But soon the young man moved away from him, far enough for Graves to allow himself to open his eyelids. There was something carnivorous, voracious about the younger man's gaze, and a shiver ran up Percy's back. Then the glow in his eyes softened and he took Graves' hand between his own before turning and placing his fingers at the base of his spine. Percival was short of breath, but he pressed his contact a little more. Slowly, in short intervals, like a heart of light awakening beneath the skin, a blue shape took form.

Percy remained shocked and amazed for a moment. It was incredibly blue, mesmerizing. The light stopped flickering, stabilizing, forming an imperfect circle under the pearl skin.

"It's... it's... "

"Strange?" Credence proposed, in an unsure tone.

It broke Percival's heart. It revealed too much suffering, too much of what the young merman had gone through.

"Unsettling... I've never seen anything like it. " Percy confessed

Unable to help himself, Graves applied a little more pressure on the lower back and suddenly blue patterns began to appear on the pale skin, twirling up under the epidermis, radiant. It was beautiful, unreal... Gently, Percival slid his fingers along one of the shapes, stopping just below the scapula. And it was then that he saw, that he really saw all the suffering engraved in the flesh of Credence. Scars revealing deep wounds, others burns, others forming hollows, as if someone had tried to remove pieces of flesh. The skin was pulled by the traces of pain, sometimes long, getting lost in his pants or in the top of his shoulders, sometimes short and precise, like stab wounds. Nausea rose to Percival's lips accompanied by unprecedented anger. He could have killed with violence and cruelty the person who had done this without ever having the slightest remorse. He placed his other hand on one of the most marked scars in the center of Credence's back and the merman jerked away, moving aside abruptly as if the touch had burned him. The blue light forms retracted and the stone at the bottom of his spine disappeared.

"Sorry. " he apologized immediately

"No, don’t be, it's just that I'm not used to it. No one has ever touched me gently before. "

This revelation was so sad, so painful. Percy let his hand fall back down along his body, watching Credence silently put his sweater back on. He looked lost, but he was also on the verge of tears for reasons that were not totally foreign to Graves. He too had for years craved contact, gentleness, tenderness, to the point of being ready to abandon himself to the first person offering him a minimum of interest. He had experienced this, and he had not found the right people. He turned away from Credence, going back to his seat, drinking the end of his cup. The young man imitated him, bringing his knees to his chest, cowering in his chair as if he wanted to disappear. He no longer had anything of the seductive creature, he suddenly looked like a wounded soul. And God, he looked young and Percy saw the twelve years between them.

"I'm not a particularly delicate person, I'm sorry. "

Credence looked up at him with a shy smile on his face. How could someone so adorable and so openly kind have been treated so badly? Because we weren't talking about simple blows, even if these were already unacceptable, we were talking about lacerations, pieces of skin and flesh removed, lashes, belts, metal objects, cigarette burns and branding burns. We talked about torture. Credence must have understood his thoughts when he leaned over the table to take one of Percy's hands between his own, caressing the palm with his thumb.

"Maybe not, but you have good intentions, that's more than anyone I've ever known. "

Without thinking about it, Percival brought one of Credence's hands to his lips, touching more than kissing his knuckles. There was something addictive about this contact that he found hard to grasp.

"Do you want to talk about it? "

"Not now... "

Percival nodded, not insisting. Slowly, the merman pulled his fingers from his, clasping his knees against him. His hair had grown a little since his arrival and the extra length softened his angular face. He seemed both confused and reassured to be here. Only God knew what he had endured. Graves sighed before asking:

"Is there anything else I should know? Do you have magical powers, the ability to travel through time, that sort of thing? Can't you read minds? "

Credence had a little crystalline laugh. He finished drinking his cup, gently relaxing. Then, after a pause, he answered seriously:

"No, I can't travel through time, Percival... Only some of us have special powers. I am capable of calming the mind, at least I believe, I am trying anyway. I can heal minor wounds, like superficial cuts. My friend, Nagini, is a Melusina mermaid, she is able to communicate with marine animals but also with snakes, and she has healing gifts much more powerful than mine. "

So Credence had met other mermen and mermaids, he knew some basics of underwater life. And he did have a power, even though it hadn't been a secret for a while. His healing power, however small, also explained the speed at which his leg had healed. It was also interesting to learn that there were different types (can we talk about types?) of mermaid, and that although Scamander had presented many interesting concepts, he still had a lot of gaps in his knowledge. And it was probably better that way, because Graves had no desire for these creatures to go through what Credence had gone through. He too finished the water with lemon, before he ventured to ask:

"A Melusine? Those with a dragon's tail? "

He looked up at Credence to discover that he was looking at him in a strange way, with a smirk on his face, as if he knew something that Percival did not. He frowned.

"What ? "

"Nothing, I think you're cute... " the merman smiled.

Graves almost choked on his own saliva before laughing softly.

"Cute? It must have been thirty years since anyone said that to me. "

"You're handsome too... "

This conversation was venturing into dangerous territory. He knew it, and judging by the sparkle in the eyes of the youngest, he knew it too. But he didn't seem to be embarrassed, at least not really. He seemed to expect more of a reaction from the fisherman.

"No, that's not true..." Percival sighed, sweeping the compliment away with a wave of his hand.

"I think you're beautiful, you have wonderful eyes. "

And there she was again, the birth heat wave in the center of his heart. Percy frowned a little more and Credence immediately withdrew his hold, suddenly paler, as if he was afraid that Graves would get angry with him again.

"So, apart from... the gills, the fish tail, the two powers, and the stone, there's nothing different from a human being? "

It was already a lot, but Percival was trying to relate to what he knew in order to evaluate ... well ... how he had to adapt in order to make Credence feel as well as possible. And for him to stay. In a serious tone, the young man said:

"I can hear more than you can, but my sense of smell is almost non-existent. "

Which made sense. Underwater, there was little reason to have a sense of smell. In a slow and graceful movement, Credence left his chair and walked towards Percival, his eyes fixed on those of the fisherman. He placed one of his hands on his cheek before running the other through his hair. The contact was wonderful, and as every time the merman touched him, if only with his fingertips, Graves felt his heart accelerate.

"Percy? Can I call you Percy now? "

"Of course... I never should have told you that you... "

The end of his sentence died in his throat. He felt like a prey that Credence was playing with, and although he knew he was not bad, that he didn't want to hurt him, his head was spinning and he didn't like giving himself up to someone else's power at all. Not after what he'd been through, he didn't trust those kinds of emotions anymore. Graves closed his eyes to keep his mind clear as Credence came a little closer to him, both hands in his hair now.

"Percy? " Credence whispered, so close to his ear that Graves felt his breath in his neck.

He was so weak, so unable to resist such feelings. And to say that the merman didn't know what he was doing would have been a lie. He seemed to be in perfect control of the situation, as when he had just taken off his clothes and walked towards the fisherman earlier.

"Hmmm? "

"Can I start soothing you again sometimes? I don't want to hurt you, I just want to protect you. "

His melodious voice was mesmerizing, and he remembered one of the phrases from Scamander's book: " ** _Mermaids and mermen are not evil creatures, but sometimes they get fond of an object, and that object of desire is subject to a certain degree of manipulation: this is called the obscurus._** "Graves clenched his teeth, forcing himself to open his eyes. Credence was a few centimeters from his face, pupils dilated, mouth slightly open, one hand placed around the throat of the elder, the other in his hair. He was about to go insane, and the merman looked pleased.

"Of what? " he asked, more curtly than he would have liked. "What do you want to protect me from? "

The young man felt that something was wrong, as he moved aside, letting his arms fall back along his body, leaning his head to the side in that unnatural gesture that Percy had often seen him do.

"From you, above all, you're pretty cruel to yourself, from your memories as well. I just want you to be all right. It pulls me inside when you hate yourself. "

"Why me? Of all the boats in the port, why me? Because I was the closest? Because there was no one around? What really happened that day? "

He wasn't angry, rather desperate to find out the truth. Because it didn't make any sense that Credence, a magical creature of all beauty, even if he was hurt, decided to turn to him instead of someone else. He wanted Credence with him, but he wanted him knowing why the merman had chosen him, why he wanted him to be the one to protect him, he who was so weak. Why had he set his heart on him? Why was it important for him to use his power over him? Why did he want Percival to ask him to stay? The young man simply bent down to put a kiss on his forehead and then returned to sit down in front of him saying :

"Not now... "

Damn it, he couldn't take those two words anymore! Why did Credence always have to be so enigmatic?

"Can't you just tell me what happened? Don't you trust me? Don't you... "

"Someone tried to fish me with a harpoon. " he cut it off. " Someone tried to fish me with a harpoon, and I managed to get away but the harpoon was poisoned and my tail started to disappear and I found myself, injured, alone, suffocating underwater and I was ready to die that day. " 

It was dry, and his eyes were cold. And to tell the truth, it didn't really look like Credence. Percy blamed himself for insisting, and he let himself fall back against the back of his chair with a sigh, passing a hand over his face. He must have seemed really nervous as he felt the heat wave spreading through his body, slightly clouding his mind. He hadn't agreed to let him do this again, but in that moment it did him the most good. Credence must have realized it because he also calmed down, regaining his usual soft features.

"Is that what you wanted to know? " he asked in a calmer voice.

" I'm sorry," he asked in a calmer voice.

Credence raised an eyebrow, obviously not expecting an apology.

" Why ? It's not your fault. " 

" No, but it's upsetting you, and I insisted on knowing anyway. " 

The heat increased, and soon all traces of tension and anxiety left his mind. The merman again gave him that look of adoration and tenderness that made Graves fall a little more for him each time. There was still a lot that Percy didn't know about the young man, a lot that Credence didn't know about his past, but in time, perhaps it would all end up not being a mystery. And maybe tonight, in front of such beautiful eyes, after the emotional roller coaster he had experienced in less than an hour, Graves would venture to think that he was falling inexorably in love.

* * *

Smoking was a bad idea. Especially after ten years of quitting, it was completely ridiculous. And yet, at almost two o'clock in the morning, Percival Graves was on his terrace, trembling with the cold of the November wind, smoking a fucking cigarette. Credence was deeply asleep in the living room.

After their discussion, they had settled down next to each other on the sofa, reading a book by themselves. At one point, Credence had leaned over to him, resting his head on his thighs and continuing to read, as if this contact, this intimacy, was perfectly normal. And in a way it was, it wasn't as if Percival had been running away from his contact for several weeks, it was even the opposite, but there was in this simple gesture, this simple sigh of ease that had passed the young man's lips, something warm and natural that frightened Graves to the core. But he hadn't moved. He had just stood there, his hands trembling, unable to continue reading the book in his hands.

Later, Credence had gotten up, wished him good night by dropping a kiss dangerously close to his lips before disappearing behind the screens. Graves had almost fled to his room, breathless, his heart beating. In his bed, he had tried in vain to find sleep, turning over and over in his sheets before finally putting on the first clothes he could find, had picked up his phone so that he could drag himself outside without turn on the lights or making any noise. And in the old jacket he had taken, he had found a packet of cigarettes intact.

He pulled at the white cylinder again, watching the clouds pass in front of the moon. He felt much less tired now that things were back to normal between him and Credence. Well, back to normal, depending on how you look at it... He was getting lost in his internal reflections when he felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out to see a new message from Tina:

**_"Are you awake Princy?"_ **

It must have been 15 years since she'd called him that. He had a little sigh before he pressed the call button. She picked up the phone quickly, but remained silent, waiting for Percy to speak first.

"Hi", he said simply.

There was a muffled sound on the other end of the phone, like a sob, before Tina answered with a trembling voice:

"Hello... "

A shiver ran down Percival's spine. If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was hearing Tina cry. He would have been ready to rush off to join her, but that would have been impulsive and maybe his best friend was more willing to talk, especially after all that silence between them.

"Tina? Tina what's wrong? Why are you crying? "

"She hit you, didn't she? She hit you when you came to town last time. She hit you and she grabbed your hair... "

He closed his eyes, laying one hand on his forehead. The eldest Goldstein had obviously just heard about his altercation (if you could call it that) with Bella, and she must have been worried sick about it ever since, and too stubborn to come and see him in person here. It had been a while since the event had taken place, but maybe Tina had only just found out about it.

"Yes... " he replied.

"Damn it! Sometimes I wish I could strangle her so badly! Why does everyone gravitate around her when that woman is a fucking poison. She's a monster of cruelty, and everyone's protecting her! "

"Because she's not well... " he sighed.

"Fuck this bullshit! I spit at them, at everyone who defends her when she comes to tell the inn what she did to you! Because she is proud of it on top of that, this bitch, to say that she hit you the other day! And there's not one to tell her to shut the fuck up! And when I do it, it's me that they get out of the inn, because they are all fucking cowards! You're not doing well either, you're not doing well at all, and it kills me to see that nobody cares. I hate them all! And I hate that Hagrid is burying his head in the sand just because the inn belongs to the Malfoy family! "

She was furious, and it was understandable. Percival had been furious too, for a long time. But now he was just resigned.

"I'm fine... I'm better. " he reassured her.

She had a sad little laugh, obviously doubting this statement.

"Except when I'm a selfish fucking bitch... "

"You are not selfish. "

"Oh yes, I am! Yes I am, otherwise I wouldn't throw such horrible things at you just because I feel useless. I won't leave you alone for more than a month, I won't try to avoid you. I'm too stupid and I don't deserve you. He's right, the other little star, I panic at the mere thought of trusting someone in your life again. You know what he said to me the other day? He told me that I had to stop being the secondary character in my own life, that you weren't going away and that I had to learn to live for myself. "

A smile stretched the fisherman's lips. He could well imagine the serious tone with which the merman had said this to his friend, not the least disturbed by the dark look she must have given him. And besides, he was right, Tina had to stop trying to watch over Percy all the time because she blamed herself for... No, he wasn't going to think about it now... He didn't want to remember. He opened his eyes, staring at the moon again and asked:

"Little star? "

"Fuck Graves, is that all you take away from what I just said? "

She seemed more amused than angry now, and that was reassuring. He had missed her terribly. He took a deep breath to give himself courage before confessing, his throat slightly knotted by apprehension :

"Tina... I think I'm falling in love. "

Not to say that he was already so much bewitched... _You're disgusting, you're weak, bad, wicked, useless..._ He closed his eyes, clutching his hair in a nervous gesture, expecting her to laugh at him or to try to make fun of him wherever she tried to resonate with him, but instead, Tina said:

"I know. That's what terrifies me. But that doesn't mean I'm right. "

He wanted to cry, to burst into tears. She wasn't judging him. Of course Tina wasn't judging him, how could he have thought otherwise even for a moment. His vision blurred as he asked, poorly holding back his sobs of relief:

"So it doesn't... it doesn't bother you that it's a boy? "

"Why would it bother me? "

A plaintive sound passed his lips, and he put his hand over his mouth, but he couldn't suppress it. A tear rolled down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away, the ball at the back of his throat preventing him from responding.

"Percival Graves, don't tell me that you keep repeating to yourself all those horrors that your father said to you after he caught you kissing Sirius? "

That was exactly what he had done. Because Silas Graves was and always would be an evil voice in his head that kept reminding him of his failures and how pathetic and despicable he was. The event that Tina was talking about happened in high school. At that time he had a good group of friends: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter and Rubeus Hagrid. They had spent many afternoons together, doing silly things, laughing out loud. And even though today they had completely lost track of each other, (mostly because of Bella and... other things), the "Marauders" had been a great source of happiness in his teenage life. He had been extremely close to Sirius (who was Bellatrix's cousin, by the way), and one summer, a few days before the end of high school, the two young men had kissed in an alcove of the Graves Manor. And his father had discovered them. The rest had been hell.

"Percival? " Tina called, worried that she had no answer.

"I hate myself... I find myself disgusting... And Bella has so often said that it was because of this that things didn't work out between us that... Tina, I feel like there is something wrong with me... "

Because he was necessarily the problem, it wasn't normal to fall in love so quickly, to crave someone so much, to drink every word he said, to feel like crying in front of his beauty, to die wanting to love him to the point of losing his mind. There was something sick and bad about him, something that had destroyed him for years.

"Percival, I wasn't so reluctant to see you fall in love with him because he's a boy! " she exclaimed. "That's really the least of my concerns! It freaked me out because we don't know anything about him and you literally saved him from the water! I don't give a shit that he's a guy! "

"But I can't... I really can't... I want him to stay, I want him near me, but I can't not feel disgusting by myself every time I approach him. "

Tina sighed sadly. He was having trouble hiding his panic and tears kept rolling down his cheeks, and his best friend knew him too well not to know what state he was in.

"Give yourself some time," she said. "Percy, my love, give yourself time! Give yourself space to feel again, you can't erase what you've been through with a wave of your hand. Nor with pretty black eyes full of adoration. "

She said that in a joking tone, and it brought a little smile to Graves' face. It meant that she really didn't resent him, not that he needed her blessing, but it was reassuring to hear her laughing at it rather than panicking about it now. 

"So do you forgive me? " he asked.

"Me? Why should I forgive you? I'm the one who fucked up Percival, not you! I'm the one who should be apologizing! I'm sorry, okay? **_I_** 'm sorry, not you! Because you didn't do anything wrong, you hear me? And my love, you'll have it forever, Percy, okay? I love you, Queenie loves you, Jacob loves you, and obviously the other little star's got you right, even if you stink of fish. "

"Fuck you. " he laughed.

The young woman's laughter joined his and a huge weight left his shoulders. Everything was coming together. And everything would eventually get better, he just needed time. After a moment of laughing like children, probably because of nerves, Tina spoke again:

"Ah, I prefer that! You are an exceptional being Graves, I hope you know that. "

"Credence thinks I have the color of infinity. " he confided.

"Fuck, he's super poetic too, no wonder he's got you in his net. Did you get the joke? Net? "

Graves laughed again, raising his eyes to the sky, much more amused than annoyed. Every trace of his crying had disappeared and slowly, delicately, the fatigue was coming back to him, proof that he was feeling more appeased.

"It's less funny when you insist on it. " he laughed again.

She made a childish sound, and Percy guessed that she must have stuck her tongue out at him. He felt a terrible urge to hug her. But that would wait until tomorrow, for now he just wanted to go back to bed. He crushed the cigarette that had finished burning on its own before throwing it in the trash can on the terrace (the one surrounded by shells).

"Percy, I love you and I'm sorry. " Tina apologized again.

"I know, me too".

"You too what?" she insisted, a smile in her voice.

He rolled his eyes again. Their reconciliation was obviously bringing her back to her childhood, and even though he pretended to be bothered, he thought it was adorable.

"I love you too and I'm sorry. " he finally said.

She giggled, happy with that answer. Tina couldn't hold back a yawn on the other end of the phone, and Percy did the same a few seconds later.

"Good night, Princy. " she said in a sleepy voice.

"Good night, Tina. " he smiled.

And she hung up. Graves left his chair and the cold of the garden, doing his best not to make any noise when he returned to the house. He tiptoed towards Credence's bed, allowing himself to observe him in his sleep. He looked so peaceful, so calm, free of so many things. He was beautiful too, too beautiful to be true. Without thinking about it, Percival bent down to put a tender kiss in his hair and Credence made a lovely little sleepy sound. Graves stood there for several minutes, fascinated by the creature that had turned his life upside down. Did it make sense? To risk living again for someone else?

* * *

He knew this room, he knew this light, the sound of the door opening, the whistling of the kettle, the branch banging on the window because of the wind. He knew those noises, those smells, and above all the scenario that accompanied them. A silence, a scream, the ground under his knees, the blood, a body lying on the floor ... And after ... After ...

_What did you do?_

He woke up with a start, his heart compressed so violently that he felt like he was dying. His blood was buzzing in his ears and he felt as if sweat had stuck his shirt to his body. He looked around, completely panicked, unable to know where he was. Then he realized that there was someone in front of him, sitting on the edge of the bed, a hand stroking his hair. His eyes glowed in the dark, a milky color that would have been frightening if reality had not returned to Percival. He knew that face, that voice, that sweetness...

"Credence, what are you doing here?" he asked, still out of breath from his bad dream.

"You were crying in your sleep. " the younger one explained, getting a little closer so he could get the strands of hair stuck to his forehead.

The gentle warmth spread through him, and he closed his eyes, savoring the soothing sensation that flowed under his skin. He was convinced that this power would eventually get him addicted. A comfortable sigh passed his lips and he let himself be guided as Credence helped him to lie down. He expected to hear the bedroom door close when he felt the young man's hands leave his face, but instead, the mattress sank down beside him and Percival opened his eyes to discover Credence lying on top of the blankets beside him, an expression as adorable as a puppy's face.

"What are you doing?" Graves asked, frowning.

"Can I sleep next to you? " he said in a small voice.

Bad idea, it was a very bad idea. And then they didn't know each other well enough, despite the last few weeks, (and no, that wasn't just a lame excuse). Percival never slept with anyone, especially since... It would be weird and Credence wasn't young enough for that anymore. And it was a very bad idea, that's all! 

"Uh... No? " he replied, tragically unsure of his answer.

"Please. " Credence insisted, batting his eyelashes with a begging smile.

Oh God, he was so cute! And his power that kept warming Percy's soul. Graves swallowed with difficulty as the merman came dangerously close to him. There it was right there, that feeling of being at the mercy of Credence. _Focus, Percy!_

"No. " he repeated more dryly.

Credence made a disappointed pout, leaving the mattress reluctantly with a slowness that bordered on the ridiculous. Percival sighed, closing his eyes, resting his forearm on his face. He waited to hear the sound of the door handle, but nothing, silence. And the soothing warmth was still there.

"Credence, go back to bed... " he grumbled.

"I'm afraid... I'm scared... "

 _Don't give in, Percival! Don't give in!_ Holding back a new sigh, Graves withdrew his arm to place it under his head, then he looked at the silhouette of Credence (once again dressed only in his old sweater, how could something so old and distended make him so attractive?) who was hiding halfway behind the door frame.

"What are you afraid of?" he finally asked.

"To disappear... Or that someone bad discovers me... I'm terrified. "

Graves stared at him for a long time. He knew he had to refuse, Credence was no longer a child, especially when he was behaving with him as he had done in the kitchen discussion three days earlier, but he seemed really upset and much more sincere than seconds before. And again, Percival Arthur Graves was a weak man. He let out a grunt of frustration before saying:

"Okay... Okay, but you sleep on your side of the bed... Why the hell would you be any more comfortable sleeping with me? It doesn't make any sense! "

A huge smile appeared on the face of the youngest who rushed to the bed, as if he was afraid that Percival would change his mind. He slipped under the blankets, settling at a reasonable distance from the fisherman, staring at him with his eyes full of adoration.

"Because you are a good person. " he suggested in response.

"I'm not so sure. If I were a good person, you wouldn't be in my room tonight. "

Graves gave himself a mental slap. Why did he say that? He was really stupid! He was already having a hard time figuring out how far Credence was willing to play with him (and more precisely with his desires...), this was no time for innuendoes! He closed his eyes, turning on his side to try to find a comfortable position to fall back to sleep, his back facing the merman. Luckily for him, the power of Credence soothed him enough so that the irritation and annoyance didn't agitate him too much. Behind him, he felt the young man getting closer. Not too close, but close enough for Percival to expect him to put an arm around his waist. But he did not. Instead, he whispered:

"Percy? "

"Sleep, Credence," he sighed.

"Just one last question. " he begged in his melodious voice.

Well, he was already in his bed a few inches away from him, so it didn't make much sense to deny him that or to try to ignore him. After a growl that was more about fatigue than exasperation, he gave in:

"I'm listening to you. "

"Do you like the sea? "

Really ? That was his question? Graves felt himself blushing to the roots of his hair when he realized that he was expecting something much more... intimate. God, he was so fucked up! Percival cleared his throat, moving to get away from Credence, when he replied:

"I'm a fisherman... so I guess the answer is obvious. "

The young man remained silent for a long time, long enough for Graves to feel himself reaching out to sleep, lulled by the power of Credence and the strange relief of no longer feeling alone. Bella had always hated that house, so it wasn't as if he wasn't used to being there by himself, but to know that he was sharing that space with someone, someone as gentle and enigmatic as Credence, made his heart beat faster. On his back, he felt the merman pressing his torso against him, but he still didn't put an arm around him. It didn't really meet the definition of " _staying on his side of the bed_ ," but it was delicate enough that the fisherman didn't feel oppressed. And in spite of himself, he realized that he was abandoning himself to the contact.

"You are a beautiful soul. " Credence added.

"Many would disagree with that... " he sighed.

"A lot of people don't really know you. "

That was sadly true. And Percy doubted that anyone on this planet would ever get to know him completely, to know the slightest of his tics, the slightest of his habits, his anxieties, his fears, his traumas. It was terrifying to think that maybe someone would one day get to know him so well, and at the same time it would make him feel as if he hadn't just passed through this life.

"You don't really know me either... " he said for any answer.

"No, but I see you, I really see you, and I feel privileged... "

And it was at this moment that Credence allowed himself to put an arm around him, bringing him back to his chest, burying his face in his hair, his breath caressing his neck. There he was the point of no return for Percival, at that precise moment when he decided not to push him away and put his hand over his. No turning back, just this dull anguish that he would never again be able to imagine his life without Credence. The young man tightened his grip around his waist before asking:

"Could we go to the beach tomorrow to watch the sunset? "

"I thought you would sleep after your question..." he grumbled, feigning irritation as he held back a tender smile.

"Sorry... Good night, Percy. "

"Good night Credence. "

Silence settled in the little room and just as Percival was about to fall asleep he heard the soft voice of the merman whispering to him:

"I like you... "

"Sleep, Credence! "

* * *

Things improved greatly after that. Tina and Queenie often came by the house, and one thing led to another, Jacob learned about Credence. He quickly grew fond of him, telling Percy several times that " _he was a good person_ ". And like his wife, he made it his duty to find the pastry that would please the youngest, visibly disturbed that Credence did not like his cooking. And against all odds, he succeeded: the young man fell in love with a peanut butter and salted butterscotch tartlet. To say that Queenie and Jacob experienced this as a victory would have been an understatement.

Tina, for her part, was beginning to develop a real affection for Credence, and even though she tried to hide it, Percival saw it in the way she smiled at him sometimes or simply put a hand on his shoulder when she walked by. And so, the whole small group entered into a warm and family dynamic that greatly soothed the fisherman's soul. Queenie kept silent about the true nature of Credence, and Percival did the same. If the younger one wanted to reveal it, he would, it wasn't up to them. And to tell the truth, Graves was horribly afraid that someone evil would find out.

Maybe it was selfish, but he wanted to keep Credence to himself for a while longer, to keep his magic, his beauty, and everything wonderful about him.

The merman had literally abandoned the semblance of a bedroom he had in the living room after the first time they shared Percy's bed, and very soon it became natural for Percival to fall asleep embraced by Credence. It was pleasant, reassuring, and so tenderly normal that neither of them ever tried to deepen the contact. Credence continued to place delicate kisses on Percy's cheeks (sometimes much too close to his lips) and forehead, and he did the same, perhaps hugging him a little too often.

The days went by without much change, except for the humid cold that became a little more freezing each day as Christmas approached. Routine had set in, but there was nothing disturbing about it, in fact, it was quite the opposite. Percy would leave early in the morning, kissing Credence's forehead, and then he would come home, take care of the household chores until the younger one came back ... came back to him.

Until the day when, under the white sun at the end of the year, Percival discovered a silvery fish tail tapping the sides of his boat from time to time. A huge smile lit up his face as he stepped onto the deck, looking amused at the merman trying to splash him several times.

"My God... Are you playing games with me?" Percy finally asked, leaning on the railing.

Credence finally got his head out of the water, a mischievous pout on his face as he replied:

"Perhaps... "

Graves let a warm laugh pass his lips. And when he rested his eyes on the young man's face, he felt his heart miss a beat. Lately, he had been wanting to kiss him more and more, but he was afraid to make him run away or do anything wrong, and the mere thought that Credence might reject him helped to stifle his ardor.

"Do you like to come swimming here? " he asked, looking away from the black irises.

"Perhaps. I like your boat. "

"You like my boat? " he laughed.

It was soft and childlike, and the sun on his skin only strengthened the warm feeling in his heart. He hadn't felt that way in years, and he was afraid to venture to admit that he was... happy....

"But I prefer you..." Credence added before splashing him, taking him out of his thoughts.

"Glad to hear it. " he smiled, wiping his face with his sleeve.

Credence had a small amused giggle, before disappearing under the surface again. The sea was calm enough for Percival to notice a sound he was not used to hearing. Or rather, a muffled version of a melody he had fallen in love with in the last few weeks. And it was with a beating heart that he understood that the merman was singing. He was singing under the water, his voice spreading beneath the waves. It was mesmerizing, and Graves allowed himself to listen to it for a long time with his eyes closed. After several minutes, the melody stopped and Percival opened his eyes to discover that Credence was watching him attentively, his face barely emerging from the water. And that gaze could have revived the fire from any ashes.

Percival cleared his throat to give himself some composure, blushing. He went to his lever to pull up his net and the mechanism emitted a squeak that the fisherman hadn't heard for a long time: his net was full to bursting. He stared at the fish for a long time, his eyes wide open. So that's what Credence decided to do today? Help him to fish?

"I have the impression that you bring me luck. " he said after maneuvering the net to drop his fish into his hold.

Damn, the boat hadn't been this full since... since ever! Never had Graves caught so many fish !

"I love to sing, and the fish enjoy it. " Credence exclaimed after making a joyful leap in the water.

He looked so happy, it was adorable. He looked proud of himself too, pleased to have been able to help Percival today. Graves closed his hold before approaching the ledge so he could watch the merman play in the water, barely avoiding every time Credence tried to splash him. It was reassuring to be able to let himself laugh, to be childish, to leave aside questions and anxieties. This was also what Credence was, a balm to the heart, a possibility to forget, even for a moment, everything that had been torturing Percival for years.

"Can I come with you on the boat tomorrow?" the young man asked after Graves announced that he had to return to port.

"Wouldn't that be risky? I thought you didn't want anyone to see you. "

"But I know Tina and Queenie now..." he smiled.

True, but the majority of people here had nothing to do with the Goldstein sisters. And the mere thought of the merman running into Bella made him shiver, his stomach tying violently as he felt every color leave his face.

"Not everyone is as nice as they are. " he finally said, trying to hide his trouble.

"I'll jump in the water before you get to the harbor... "

He made his puppy eyes again, the ones that melted the fisherman's heart like snow in the sun. If Credence left the boat early enough, it was safe, right? Percy sighed before smiling at him:

"In that case it's settled. "

Credence made a joyful sound, something guttural and strange, close to the cry of a dolphin, which Percival had never heard before, before jumping into the water again. Then he told Graves that he would wait for him tonight before disappearing into the waves. Percival felt light, liberated. And if this, this feeling of joy, comfort and tenderness, was his future, then he thought that perhaps life was not a lost cause after all.

* * *

Graves was awakened from his sleep by a scream, a tearful cry that broke his heart before he could even remember where he was and with whom. He turned to find Credence still screaming, struggling against an invisible enemy. In the emerging light of day, Percival could see his cheeks streaked with tears and his face twisted in an expression of pain and despair. The fisherman placed a hand on his arm, calling out to him softly. But Credence suddenly pushed him away, continuing to struggle on the mattress, crying between his screams. Percival took him in his arms, hugging him tightly as he said in a loud voice :

"Credence! Credence, it is a dream! "

The young man abruptly opened his eyes, suddenly freezing, his breath erratic, visibly lost and terrified. He looked around for a long time before finally putting his eyes on Graves' worried face. The older man kept repeating reassuring words to him, describing circles on his back with his fingers. Credence burst into tears, his entire body shaken with uncontrollable sobs. He let himself go completely against Percy, crying against his shoulder, cowering as much as he could against the fisherman, as if he was trying to disappear in his embrace.

Graves cradled him tenderly, caressing his back, laying kisses in his hair until Credence began to calm down. The youngest's hands grabbed him, gently pulling at his shirt, looking for more contact. Percy tightened his embrace, patiently listening to the younger one's breathing become softer.

"I'm scared... I've been so scared..." he confessed, his voice hoarse from his screams.

"It's all right ... You're safe ... " Percival reassured him.

Credence moved against him, straightening himself up so he could put his arms around his neck, putting his cheek on his shoulder. Graves passed his arms around his waist, placing light kisses on his neck. After a moment he moved away from him, and Percy took the opportunity to put his thumbs on his cheeks, wiping away the last tears that were flowing. Credence pressed his face against his palm, closing his eyes, frowning as if he was trying to escape a vision.

"She was here ... " he said, his voice trembling. "She was right here... I don't want to go back in the tank. "

A cold sweat ran down his back. Credence still refused to talk about his past, even after almost three months of living together, and that was normal. He was unable to talk to anyone about what he had gone through, even Tina didn't know everything, so he didn't feel comfortable forcing the younger one to talk after only a few weeks. But hearing this upset his stomach and he almost felt like vomiting as his hands started shaking. He felt like he was realizing more and more how horrible Credence's past had been.

"The tank? " he said, his voice shaking.

Credence's breathing quickened, and the young man let himself be overwhelmed by a new anguish. He put his hands on Percy's shoulders to push him away, and he let him go, keeping one hand on his forearm. The merman began to look all around him, frenetically, wheezing, closing his eyes, becoming more and more agitated.

"She's going to put me back in the tank... I don't want... I don't want... I don't want... "

He repeated this like a litany, trying to free himself from the fisher's grip, with a crazy look in his eyes.

"Credence... " Percival tried.

"She's going to kill me... She's gonna kill me... I did wrong... I've done wrong... I don't want to go back... "

All of his muscles were tense, to the point where it was going to hurt himself terribly, and Graves felt like he was looking in a mirror. But he had to take it upon himself to do his best to reassure Credence and bring him back to the present, to save him from the past that was coming back to devour him.

"You won't go back!" Percy assured, trying to bring him back against him.

"No! No, I do not want to! " he cried, shaking his head, eyes closed, unable to calm down.

Percival quickly approached him, taking his face in his hands before saying:

"Credence look at me! "

The young man did so, his panicked gaze plunging into his. He was terrified, trembling like a leaf, his face paler than ever. Percival's vision seemed to soothe him and Graves encouraged him to breathe and keep his eyes on him.

"You're not going back in that tank, okay? You're here with me, it's okay. You're safe. "

"I'm safe..." Credence repeated, forcing himself to copy the older man's breathing.

Panic gradually gave way to fatigue and relief in his eyes. Graves passed his arms around him, again, before moving with him to lie face to face. He pulled the blanket up over them before tying his eyes to those of the younger one, tenderly caressing his cheek as the last traces of his fear disappeared. Credence huddled a little closer to him, breathing deeply, as if the smell of Percival was calming him down. After a few moments of silence, the fisherman proposed in a low voice :

"Would you like to talk about it? "

"No, I don't want to. "

The answer was sad and Credence sounded so fragile that Percival could not help but try to bring him even closer. He was wide awake now, and even though he wasn't working today, he couldn't see himself going back to sleep. The birds outside had begun to sing.

"Would you... would you tell me a story?" the merman asked weakly.

"A story? "

"I like the sound of your voice, it brings me back to a painless reality. "

Percival didn't really know why, but that sentence almost made him want to cry. He started caressing Credence's hair again, thinking for a few moments about what he was going to say. Then, in his deep, reassuring voice, he began:

"Once upon a time... Once upon a time there was a fisherman. He was pulling up his net, it was a normal day, when he discovered... when he discovered a young man... That's how the story begins... "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kisses <3 ^^


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry for the wait, I have a lot of work at the moment, I'll try to post the next chapter a little faster, but I can't promise anything... I hope you'll like this chapter ^^   
> Kisses

_The wind is blowing hard outside, the tree is slamming its branches against the first-floor window as if someone was trying to get in. It is cold, too cold, but the pinch of winter prevents him from forgetting that he is still alive. The day has not been bad, it has been banal and simple, and maybe that will be enough. Maybe tonight will be enough. " **I can do it, I can go on** ," he thinks, putting the kettle on the stove, his hands shaking. He leans against the stove, his legs shaking. He is sad, he is angry, he is lost, he is in pain. The key turns in the front door, the door opens, the door slams, the shoes resound on the floor. He stands up, he forces himself to smile. " **I can do it, I can go on** ," and then... Then... Then... _

_Noise of branch, cold, calm... No, anger... Or sorrow? " **I can do it, I can go on** ". The water heats up, the kettle will soon whistle. He is in pain, yes, pain, somewhere under his skin, in his blood, it's rotting him from the inside. The door opens, closes, someone steps forward... _" ** _I can do it, I can go on_** _" And after ... After ..._

_Branch, cold, fear, sadness, pain. "_ **I can't do it, I can't go on** _". Kettle whistling, door slamming. A silence, a scream, the ground under his knees, blood, a body lying on the floor ... And then ... After ..._

_What did you do?_

Percival suddenly opened his eyes, his throat dry and painful, all the muscles in his body tense to the point of hurting him, his breathing erratic and his heart pounding painfully in his chest.

"Shhh, it's all right... " a voice whispered.

He felt lips resting on his forehead, then his cheek. A hand went through his hair and after a few moments of looking around him, completely panicked, Graves put his eyes on Credence's sweet face. He had a reassuring smile, an incredibly delicate and protective expression, as if he had watched over him all his life. He continued to caress his face and hair, humming a melody that soothed Percy's soul, his lips sometimes touching his cheekbones. The familiar warmth spread throughout his being, and Graves made a small moan, which was too much of a sob for his taste. He straightened himself up so that he could take Credence in his arms, or rather to take refuge against him.

The younger one hugged him, rocking him tenderly, telling him several times that everything was fine. And Percy would have given anything to stay huddled against him forever, protected, surrounded by that smell and that special touch, imbued with the feeling that he was no longer alone and that everything would work out in the end. Because Credence was sacred, because it made him feel alive, because the most important thing was not what they were but what they had chosen to become. Because they had fallen, because they got up, because Credence was not a fierce beast or a saint, but perhaps both, and so many more things. Because they were multitudes, infinitely many, those who suffer, those who dream, Those who seek, those who stay, those who fight, those who love, those who watch... Not everything was fragile, but nothing was unbreakable, and yet... Yet this morning, against Credence, Percival felt himself again, and it was much more than he could have hoped for. 

"You screamed in your sleep..." the merman confessed, his breath caressing Percy's ear.

"I'm sorry. "

Credence held him a little tighter, and then, when his breathing was sufficiently calm and the young man's power had finished calming his mind, Percival moved away from him. Credence looked exhausted, as if he hadn't slept all night when outside the premises of daylight were already beginning to appear. The young man caressed his cheek one last time, and Graves leaned against the contact, closing his eyes. Credence left the edge of the bed on which he was sitting and walked towards the window, looking out, gradually losing his smile.

He began to sing again, something sad and melancholic that resonated throughout the room like the suffering sometimes ricochets off the walls. Percival watched him for a long time, leaning against the headboard to be able to more easily contemplate the young man's silhouette. He was still wearing that old wool sweater that Graves had tried, unsuccessfully, to replace with a newer one that was more in keeping with his size. Credence continued to wear this one, the sleeves too long covering his hands, the garment long enough to hide his private parts but revealing his long white legs. In the last few weeks, walking had become easier for him, but he still often staggered or fell to the ground, which explained the bruises on his knees. There, in the darkness of the room, looking at the landscape through the window, he had his place.

Credence turned towards him, surely feeling Percival's gaze on him. Sometimes he would look at him with a carnivorous air, something voracious and seductive that at times made the fisherman feel uncomfortable and at other times gave him the impression of being at his mercy. But not this morning, today Credence looked sad, lost and exhausted. He gave him a sincere smile, a sparkle in his eyes, the kind that made Graves feel important.

"Have you been up for a long time? "

The smile on the young man's face gave way to an indecipherable expression as he turned his attention to the rain that was beginning to fall outside.

"I haven't slept... It's Christmas Eve today... "

Yes, it was December 24th, and tonight they, Tina, Queenie and Jacob were going to celebrate Christmas Eve together. It was a kind of ritual that had taken place after his mother's death, and even after Mrs. Goldstein had died three years earlier, they had continued to do it together. Because Tina and Queenie were his only family now... This year Credence was going to discover Queenie's magical gifts, Tina's "useful" gifts, and most of all, Jacob's wonderful kitchen. When Percival had spoken to Credence about all this, he seemed happy to be invited and to be able to participate, slightly confused about how the evening would go and how he would have to behave, but reassured that Percival decided to integrate him. And yet, this morning he looked so melancholy that Graves was afraid he had acted wrong.

"Credence, if you don't want us to celebrate with... "

"It is the day of my redemption before my presentation to the Lord," he interrupted him.

Percival stared at him for a long time, unsure whether he had heard him correctly. Whatever it might mean, it did not bode well and certainly not happy memories... He straightened himself up a little more against the headboard, frowning before asking :

"Your redemption? "

"I must be washed of my sins in my flesh... If I bleed, the devil will ooze through my pores and I will be absolved. "

He said this as if it was the most natural thing in the world and it squeezed Percy's heart as hard as it made him want to vomit. He was more and more afraid to find out the truth, to see how much Credence had suffered, and most of all he was afraid to realize that he himself was too hurt and too weak to be able to help him. He had seen the scars, he had noticed that merman's nervous habit of always twisting his fingers around his wrist, which was covered with the most traces of wounds, he had seen the way he was always waiting for a long time on the shore for all aspects of his merman nature to completely disappear, sometimes rubbing his legs until his skin turned red. He had noticed, and it had entered his mind and his heart as one contemplates with sorrow a broken reflection. Percival knew what suffering meant, God knew how much he was familiar with pain, whether physical or mental, but that didn't necessarily prepare him to face Credence's suffering.

Graves had so many burning questions, so much about the world of mermaids and magical creatures, so many things he wanted to find out about Credence's past so he could better protect and help him. But he didn't know how to begin, where to start, and if it wasn't bad to try to find out more, while the merman always seemed reluctant to talk about it. Credence's gentle voice was heard again:

"It's raining again this morning... I wish it had snowed for once, the water sings differently when it's icy... "

The heat wave became stronger, as if the young man had heard the thread of his thoughts and wanted to prevent Percival from worrying about him. As if he wanted to protect him from anything that might disturb him. Graves let himself go, fighting sleep so that he could contemplate Credence a little longer. The silence was heavy, dragging with it the bitter taste of bad memories, those that clash and break each other so that they could cut into the soul. The merman began to sing again, it was magical, melodious, but also incredibly similar to a farewell, a last look at the distance. Percival felt tears rolling down his cheeks, tears that seemed not to belong to him but that his heart could not contain. Or perhaps it was the song that allowed him to let out what was tearing him apart from the inside. Nothing true, nothing serene, just crumbs of existence, remnants of happiness, a trace of the past, the cruelty of suffering that never forgets, and in the middle of it all... Just Credence.

The melody stopped, freezing its last notes in the air. Credence hadn't moved, and the rain kept crashing against the glass, carried by the wind and the cold. Percival expected no more words to be pronounced, and yet the merman began to speak again:

"I was 4 years old when I was first fished. At least, that is the age I was given when I arrived at the Church. I wasn't always called Credence, but I forgot the resonance of my name, the echo through the waves, its shape on the lips of others. I have forgotten the smile and tenderness of my parents, as if I had been born that day in darkness and agony. "

He paused, taking a deep breath, his arms embracing his chest as if he was trying to protect himself. He closed his eyes for a few moments, frowning, silently fighting the memories and remnants of his fears and traumas. Percival would have liked to take him in his arms, to reassure him, but Credence needed space, needed to talk without feeling suffocated. And what was most moving, beyond the pain and grief, was that the young man continued to use his power over him, that he put Percy's well-being ahead of his need to open up. And it was heartbreaking.

"We were five young creatures in the basement of the church... Well, they called it the church, but it was just a prison to me... A living hell under the name of the house of God, how ironic... There was Nagini, a Melusine, Marvolo, a wanderer, Chastity and Modesty, two fairies and me. We were captured by one of the branches of the Greater Good, the one called the Salem Redeemers. The Greater Good believes in destroying everything that is not human or animal and which, according to them, holds magic and chimerical aberrations. "

He finally opened his eyes to turn them towards the fisherman, staring at him for a few seconds before smiling tenderly at him, as if his face alone could soothe him. Graves gave him back his smile as best he could. Credence approached the bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress close enough to Percy to be able to reach out a hand to him and have the older man take it between his fingers. This contact relaxed him, his shoulder muscles loosening up. Then he looked away and continued:

"I am a chimeric aberration, I am evil. The Salem Redeemers are trying to remove the magical aspects of the young humanoid creatures they capture in order to offer them a doorway to God's grace. And today... Today is the day of my redemption... " _In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace_." "

Percival didn't know who to say or how to react. Credence had only hovered over his past, and yet everything was already so horrible and infinitely cruel that Graves had trouble breathing and keeping his composure. The heat wave intensified, and it wasn't until the youngest boy stroked his cheeks with his thumbs to wipe away his tears that Percy realized he had started crying again. He had so many questions, so many things to ask which, as always, ended up lost behind his inability to control his emotions and give the younger one the support he needed. He opened his mouth to speak but it was a sob that escaped and soon he was nothing but crying and he hated himself for it. Why was he the one crying? Why was it Credence who was comforting him... God, he was so weak...

"I'm sorry... " he apologized.

Credence took him in his arms, hugging him tightly, getting so close that he was almost on his thighs. Percival closed his eyes, trying to cling to the feeling of well-being that the power of the merman was trying to install in him. The younger one cradled him tenderly, caressing his hair delicately as if Percy was something precious. When he was a little calmer, Credence moved away from him so he could take his face in his hands, patiently waiting for Graves to look at him again.

"Life hasn't been fair to me, but it hasn't spared you either," Credence said. "I guess... I guess it's also our fears and wounds that make us who we are... I'd rather get my strength out of it than my anger, because I'm better than what they wanted to make me... And you're better, oh Percy, so much better than the people who hurt you. "

He seemed so convinced of that, as if it was obvious, as if nothing else made sense, and that's why he was so close to the fisherman at that moment. But Graves couldn't accept it, he couldn't hear it, he couldn't understand it, for the simple reason that it would have been an admission that he deserved to be happy, but more than that, that he deserved to desire Credence. And that was not acceptable. Percival closed his eyes again, escaping the adoring gaze of the younger one, and whispered:

"I'm not as strong as you are... "

"You are. "

Percy shook his head, as if trying to escape the moment, to escape the merman's fine, delicate fingers, and the unattainable perfection of his heart. But Credence wouldn't let him. He placed a series of kisses on his cheeks, his forehead, his jaw, before he began to caress his cheeks again with his thumbs. After a brief silence, he said: 

"Percival, you are. You just need to recognize how much you have suffered. Just because no one saw anything doesn't mean it didn't happen... "

He was right, there was no point in denying everything, in hiding, in not confessing... But it had been so hard... It had been so difficult to survive all that time, while everything was shattering, while his future was breaking apart, that nothing mattered anymore. And it had been much harder afterwards, when he had realized how much he had suffered, how many marks, fears and after-effects he would carry for the rest of his life, how much he had been alone and abandoned, and how little anyone, except the Goldsteins and Jacob, had cared about his condition.

"Someone... someone destroyed me... " he confessed.

"I know... "

"I don't know who I am anymore, but with you by my side, I'm... I'm trying... I'm trying to get better. "

It wasn't a confession, and yet Percy felt compelled to open his eyes to tell the younger one that he meant it, that he wasn't lying. And the emotion he read on Credence's face moved him as much as it terrified him. It wasn't tenderness or adoration, it was something deeper, more visceral. And all too quickly, Credence leaned a little more towards him, straddling his thighs as if he had just forgotten what had held him back for so long, holding his face in his hands. His lips touched Percy's, and God knows he would have liked to forget everything, to let himself go, to abandon himself at the moment. But it wasn't him, and he was still far too afraid of being hurt to allow himself to taste the forbidden fruit. So at the last moment he turned his head to the side, closing his eyes to escape reality.

Credence froze, and the heat wave that had cradled Percival for a long time, receded violently, leaving him destabilized and lost. Graves opened his eyes when he felt the merman move away, his hands leaving his face as Percy unconsciously could not help but follow them, praying for more contact.

"I'm sorry..." he apologized as the young man sat on the edge of the bed, his face even sadder than before.

"I know, it doesn't matter," he tried to smile.

But his heart wasn't in it, he had been wounded, and it could be seen in every feature of his beautiful face. Percival was so angry with himself, and it seemed so stupid not to return his affection, to refuse his kisses, when he was so thirsty to feel him against himself, to have him by his side for the rest of his life... But his mind couldn't help telling him that he had to be careful, that he was putting himself in danger, and that in the end, only his heart would suffer.

"I can't... " he murmured.

_But that doesn't mean I don't want to..._ he thought. And that Credence must have understood this, because his smile became softer, more reassuring. He stood up, approached Percy to place a kiss on his forehead and said:

"I know, I'm sorry. Go back to sleep, Percy, when you wake up, I'll be back. "

"Where are you going?" he inquired, his fingers clinging to his cloth as a reflex.

The merman delicately detached his hand before bringing it to his mouth, his lips touching his phalanges rather than actually kissing them. And it was strange to think that he had taken up this habit from Percival, for it was exactly what the fisherman did to reassure him at times. Regrets came immediately, as quickly as he realized that now he was the one who wanted to kiss Credence.

"I need to swim for a while," the merman finally answered.

Then, without another word, he rested Percy's fingers against the mattress, turned his heels, and disappeared into the early morning light. And as quickly as he had left him, sleep came back to him, pulling him in, until he sank into nothingness and he couldn't tell whether the conversation they had just had was a dream or reality.

* * *

When he woke up again, the sun was completely up and the rain had subsided. All that was left of the storm was this unbearable drizzle that sticks to the skin and soaks the air with moisture. Percival got out of bed and walked dragging towards the bathroom where he locked himself in. He took his time under the hot water, washing away what was left of his bad dreams and anxieties. He carefully avoided his reflection, aware that seeing himself would not reassure him. When he left the room, a towel around his waist, the garden door was heard, and he hurried to his room to get dressed. He had already seen Credence naked, but that was no reason to repeat the experience too often, and even less so when he himself had nothing on his back.

He slipped into the clothes he had prepared the previous day before tying his hair in a loose bun, indifferent to the few strands that escaped from it. He had to go to town, Queenie had asked him to come and pick up dessert for this evening this morning. Jacob had probably cooked too much because she had told him that the car wouldn't have enough room for both of them, with Tina, and the meal on top. They were going to have leftovers for the next three generations, like every year since they had chosen to do Christmas together.

Finding gifts for everyone was not an easy thing to do, but he did it much better than he thought he could, and he was proud enough to have found something for each of his friends, but also for Credence. The fisherman finally left the room and headed for the entrance. The merman was in the shower, judging by the sound of water coming from the bathroom. Percy had never really understood why Credence always made a point of washing himself when he left the sea, but this morning he knew what it was all about. He didn't wash in salt water, he was washing his merman appearance, and it was so sad to realize it.

Graves put on his shoes, grumbling something about Salem assholes, before getting up to knock on the bathroom door. The water quickly stopped, followed by Credence's voice:

"Is everything all right, Percy? "

"I was about to ask you the same question," he smiled.

"I'm all right. I'm fine, thank you. "

It was more polite than true, but he didn't look completely helpless as he sometimes did. Percy put his hand against the wood of the door, then his forehead, and closed his eyes. Just hearing Credence moving around in the other room reassured him. Life had never been so simple, so sweet, so comforting as it had been since his arrival. Life had never been so alive. And much sooner than Graves had thought possible, he had regained a taste for the small joys of life. Like the joy of not being alone anymore and of smelling his own shampoo in the youngest's hair when he fell asleep against it at night.

"Percy, are you still here? "

He almost jumped, walking away from the door, trying to wipe the silly smile from his lips.

"Uh... Yes. " He stammered

Credence opened the door, revealing his thin silhouette wrapped in a large towel covering his shoulders. He was adorable, as often, but this morning he was even more so.

"I wanted to know if you... "

The rest of the young man's sentence died on his lips as he looked up at Percival. He appeared to swallow with difficulty as his eyes widened, staring at the fisherman as if he was seeing him for the first time. And the heat wave that his power instilled into Percy's heart seemed different than usual, as if he couldn't hold it in and it was a side effect of his confusion. The visceral glow he had seen this morning returned to the youngest's eyes, but this time with the ardor of young passions. It was the first time in a long time that Graves felt desired. The thought made him blush as the red took possession of Credence's cheeks. Percy cleared his throat to give himself some self-control before saying:

" What did you want to know? "

"Me?" Credence asked, his eyes fluttering as if he were waking up.

"You said you wanted to know something. " Graves smiled, amused and tenderly moved by the giddy look on the face in front of him.

"Is that so? "

He nodded, waiting for Credence to come to his senses, but he did not. The merman came so close to him that his entire body was only an inch away from sticking to the fisherman's body. And the heat that ignited his being at that moment had nothing to do with the power of Credence. At least not the power of comfort. The youngest raised a hand to put it on Percival's cheek, and the inevitable happened: the towel slid down his body before falling to the ground behind him. It was Graves' turn to feel completely dizzy, he felt as if the breath of Credence against his face, his naked skin in front of him, his dark look, his smell, everything about him, was making him lose his mind.

"I love your hair..." Credence whispered against his ear.

Percy's only response was a kind of muffled groan that left no doubt as to his condition. And as always, in those moments of pure floating when it would have been so easy to abandon himself to Credence, he could not help thinking that his desire did not come from him, but from the merman's obscurus, from a spell he would have put on him.

"Please don't hurt me..." Percival said, more pathetically than he would have liked.

"Never. " Credence breathed, the word resonating in the older man's mind, ricocheting off his soul like rain on top of the waves.

It was a promise, and as if to show his good faith, the merman simply put a kiss on his neck before moving away from him. He bent down to pick up the towel, put it back on his shoulders, under the confused gaze of Percival who was having trouble knowing where he was and why he suddenly missed the warmth of Credence so much. In front of him, the youngest could not hold back a smirk, visibly satisfied to see that it took several seconds for the fisherman to remember how to speak.

"I... I... I have to go to town," Percy stammered. "I... Queenie has... Well, I'm going to... I mean... "

Boy, he sounded really pitiful. Credence really had a knack for making him lose his way. And the worst part of it was probably the feigned innocence that he displayed every time after playing with Percy... Because it seemed that sometimes, too often, Credence was playing with him like a bird of prey playing with a mouse. Or maybe it was simply Percival who could no longer discern right from wrong and accept his desires.

"You have the color of infinity... " Credence smiled.

Graves still hadn't moved and he felt as if his brain had stopped working completely. He had to leave, now, before his body would act without his permission and steal from the merman, he hoped, his first kiss. It was wrong... Really wrong... He felt like he wanted him too badly, too violently, too desperately. Beyond the undeniable love that made his heart beat, there was this uncontrollable desire, and it scared him so terribly.

"Percy? "

" Hmm? "

"Your hands are shaking, are you okay? "

And it was there, at that very moment, that something broke inside him, that thing which was holding him back, which made him anxious, which twisted his stomach and terrified him. The chains that prevented him from allowing himself to touch Credence were torn off, and in one breath, his lips were against those of the younger one. Percival almost wanted to burst into tears when he felt the merman respond to his kiss. It was so perfect... so very perfect... He didn't know why he hadn't let himself do it for the last few weeks, why it wasn't right, why he wasn't ready, why he had turned away from the younger one a few hours earlier.

Credence had the taste of hope, the taste of the sea dancing, of afternoons in the suns, of the best things in life, of pleasure and tenderness combined, of passion and delicacy mixed together. Then he deepens the kiss by placing a hand on the back of his head, bringing him closer with his arm around his waist. Credence's moaning against his mouth made him shiver. What the younger one lacked in experience, he gained considerably in ardor and in the way he grabbed Percival's sweater to hold it firmly against him.

Percy was losing control, going mad, he knew it, he could feel it in the greed he had to press Credence against him, turning them both so he could pin him against the nearest wall. He needed to feel him, to know that he was there, but above all that he was there for him. He had prevented himself from feeling anything for so long that emotions and sensations were overwhelming him, drowning him in a continuous stream of feelings and delusions. He was suffocating himself with Credence's lips, with his body so thin and perfect against him, with his smell, with his hands pressed against his shoulders. Percival passed his hands under the youngest's white thighs, lifting him up so that his legs were around his waist, pressing himself a little more against him, feeling Credence's erratic breath lifting his ribcage up against his own. He had been craving this for so long, and now... now he was going to get it... he was going to be his. It didn't have the tenderness and patience of a first kiss, he was aware of it, but it seemed to possess him entirely without his being able to contain it. He left Credence's mouth to kiss his cheek, his jaw, descending along his neck with a fervor that left no room for imagination or misinterpretation of his intentions.

"Percival... " Credence murmured, his voice trembling.

And he should have heard, he should have understood that something was wrong, that the tremolo in the merman's voice was not related to passion but to something else. He should have reacted, he should have been on the alert, he should have noticed that he was going too far, but he was too caught up in his own desire, in this incomparable feeling of liberation, of being whole, himself. Credence suddenly let his hands fall back softly along his body, as if all forces had just abandoned him, and his whole self began to shake strangely as he said in a panicked voice :

"I'm afraid... I'm afraid... Percival, I'm scared. "

These words only went round and round in Percy's mind, and he immediately stopped his feverish kisses. He was a monster... he was a monster... The guilt rose in his belly and he suddenly felt like throwing up. He moved away from the younger one, releasing his legs, in a gesture made slow by the apprehension and the painful realization that he had just hurt Credence in the worst possible way. He nevertheless allowed himself to support him when the merman nearly collapsed, his legs unable to support him as he continued to shake like a leaf. Credence raised his face. He was paler than death, staring at the ground, his neck agitated with inexplicable spasms... Then he turned his attention to Graves, his eyes looking at his face as if he was seeing it for the first time.

A heart-rending sob left his lips before he burst into tears completely. Against all expectations, instead of fleeing the fisherman and pushing him away, he clutched him in despair, putting his arms around his neck, burying his face against him to muffle his cries between his tears. Percival dragged him along with him so that they both found themselves sitting on the ground, embracing the younger one with trembling hands. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know if he was still allowed to hug him, but Credence clung to him so tightly that he couldn't see himself doing anything but hugging him gently.

He had been afraid, far too scared for Percival to forgive himself for his behavior, far too frightened for him not to hate himself to the bone marrow for having done so. Credence suddenly moved away from him, his cheeks covered with tears, his voice trembling, bordering on hysteria when he asked:

"I'm not a monster, am I? I'm not... I'm not evil? "

"Credence... " he murmured, shocked to hear these questions.

He was the monster, he was the bad one for not having made that first kiss between them a happy memory, for wanting more, for not having stopped before panic took possession of the younger one. So why on earth would he say that?

"I'm good, aren't I? I can... I can be good! I swear I can... "

He was no longer himself, his eyes staring madly at Percy, as if he had forgotten where he was. The same look he had when he awoke from a night terror and no longer knew if he was still locked in the church basement. He was having a seizure that had nothing to do with Percy and at the same time had everything to do with him. It wasn't the kiss or the passion that terrified him, it was something else, something much deeper, much sadder. And in his fear and stupor, Graves was unable to move, unable to react. What had these Salem redeemers done to Credence? My God, what had they done to him? Destroyed him to the point of making him so sick, to the point of losing his mind over his cravings and his first kiss... Then their morning discussion came back to him: it was the day of his redemption, the day of blood... How could anyone be so cruel? They had broken him... And now... now Percy didn't know how to help him and love him properly.

"Credence... " he repeated, unable to find the words.

"She's everywhere... She's everywhere, she runs under my skin... I'm going to contaminate you... I'm going to contaminate you, I have to... I have to wash you... Yes... Yes, I have to purify your soul... And then everything will go back to the way it was before"

It didn't make sense, and once again Percy's heart broke in his chest. There was nothing worse than seeing Credence like that. He had wanted something, and now that he had got it, the merman hated himself, he didn't know what else to do except to blame himself, to fear that he had done wrong, blind to the fact that Percival had wanted it as much, if not more, than he had. Much more than he had...

"Credence, look at me. "

He shook his head, lowering his eyes to the ground, his hands still clinging firmly to the fisherman's sweater.

"She knows... " he cried. "She always knows, I've been bad... It's my fault... My fault. I am corrupt and I am not a creature of God, and I have altered your elevation ... "

" Love, look at me," he insisted.

He delicately framed the face of the youngest of his hands, trying to display a calm and reassuring expression, while he himself felt completely helpless. Everything had gone so fast that his head was almost spinning. Credence's big, bright eyes met his own and after a deep breath, he assured him :

"You are safe, Credence, you are safe, you are with me... "

"I have corrupted you, I have hurt you... "

"No, Credence, no... You didn't hurt me. I'm so sorry I didn't react sooner, I'm so sorry. "

Credence's crying redoubled, but this time he seemed more liberated than in pain. He cowered against Percy, burying his face in his sweater again, releasing all the feelings in his tears. Graves hugged him tenderly, repeating several times that everything was fine, that he was sorry, kissing his hair repeatedly. He picked up the towel to be able to cover Credence's body, and the merman cowered a little more in his arms.

"I've... I've ruined everything... " he sobbed a little later.

"No, of course not! You didn't ruin anything, you were scared, and you have the right to be, okay? I'm sorry I was so slow to react, I was selfish, I apologize. "

Credence's fists closed a little more on the fabric of the fisherman's clothing. It meant " _don't leave me alone_ ". Percy's only answer was to tighten his embrace a little more, rocking him like a child after a bad dream. The cradling just as Credence had done with him this morning... The youngest's crying gradually subsided, and the panic disappeared, leaving behind a feeling of tiredness.

"You called me love... " Credence whispered.

This remark made the older one smile. It was so tender and sweet after what had just happened. Percival wanted nothing more than to call him that as often as possible.

"Did I? "

"No one has ever called me that before... " he confessed, raising his big eyes to the fisherman.

Percy caressed his cheek with his fingertips. Credence let himself go against the touch, letting the rest of his panic evaporate in a sigh. His whole body relaxed and he huddled completely against Percival, disappearing almost entirely under the towel, just as he had done with the coat the day they met.

"Does it bother you that I call you that? "

"No, I like it very much... "

Graves was reassured by this response. He placed another kiss on the top of the merman's skull. In the kitchen, he heard his phone ringing. It must have been Queenie who was worried that he was not coming, but for the moment, his priority was Credence, to make sure he was okay, that this kiss would not make him suffer later on. My God, he had kissed Credence... He had kissed with a passion and a fervor close to madness a magnificent and unreal creature, he had dared to touch with ardor the most wonderful being he had ever met, a young man, more than a decade younger than he was and whose magic offered him a new view of the world. Percival felt himself blushing to the roots of his hair. He could hardly get any satisfaction or happiness out of it, especially after the merman's reaction, but the facts were there: he had kissed Credence, and he had surrendered to the gesture to the point of losing his mind.

Credence made a plaintive sound against him. As Graves lowered his gaze on him, he noticed that he had closed his eyes, like a child trying to go back to sleep after a nightmare. It was unsettling, he was sometimes so sure of himself, so seductive, and at other times so fragile, lost and unable to know what to do with his own body...

"Credence, are you okay? "

He needed to know, needed to be sure that everything was going to be all right with each other afterwards, even if he wasn't planning to kiss her again for a long time. Before they were both ready for that, in fact... In the kitchen, his phone rang again, and Percival thought that there was a good chance that Tina would be here in the next twenty minutes.

"Can you promise me something?" Credence asked.

"Anything. "

The merman reopened his eyes, gazing at him for a moment, his gaze tied to his own. Then he said, in the sweetest, saddest, most melodious voice ever:

"Tell me if one day you hate me, if one day what I am disgusts you or if you think I'm hurting you. Tell me if you want me to leave or if I am doing things wrong, if my presence no longer makes sense and you can't stand the thought of seeing me... "

Percival stared at him, frozen. In his life, he had never seen anyone more fabulous than Credence, and he had never wanted to keep anyone by his side like he wanted to see the merman for the rest of his life. Yes he had loved before, yes he had been happy, but this was different. There was something special about Credence that made Percy think about the future...

"It's not going to happen," he said, convinced.

Credence smiled with emotion at his determination, but he insisted all the same:

"Promise me, Percy. Please. "

New phone ring. This time it was sure, Tina might arrive very soon. After a deep breath, he finally resolved to say out loud:

"I promise you. "

"Good... " Credence smiled as he closed his eyes. "Because, in all honesty, I know that I would never have the strength to leave you. "

Percival swallows with difficulty, his eyes burning, feeling the tears coming back. This was both what he desperately needed to hear and at the same time what scared him the most. He tightened his arms around his curled body, whispering:

"I hope you will if I ever hurt you... "

Credence was falling asleep, as if the warmth of Percy's body alone was enough to soothe him. He felt safe with him, safe enough to constantly lower his guard in front of the fisherman, to allow himself to find the sleep in his arms. And it was really beautiful, it was, but Graves couldn't help but think that he didn't deserve it, especially after what had just happened. Just as Credence was about to enter the world of dreams, he said in a sleepy voice:

"You'll never hurt me, Percy... Never. "

* * *

The day might as well have ended there, after Graves dressed Credence in this shapeless sweater and put him in bed so he could sleep properly. In his sleep, the merman had tried to restrain him, but Percival had to get to town or Queenie was in serious danger of having a panic attack herself. So he simply put a kiss on his forehead and stroked his cheek one last time before leaving the room. He had barely had time to gently close the bedroom door when he had received a sharp knock on the front door.

Reassuring Tina after that had really not been an easy thing to do, especially when he had told her about Credence's anxiety attack (while keeping the kiss before it silent). After a long discussion with the older Goldstein, and a longer conversation on the phone with Queenie who was on the verge of a hysterical fit, Percival left the nurse at home so that Credence wouldn't be alone when he woke up before leaving for the city. This December 24th was definitely already rich in emotions... And it was not yet noon!

Contrary to usual, the small village seemed full of new life, brightened up by the end of the year celebrations, and that made him smile. He quickly parked his car, joining the bakery from which the Mcgonagall family came out with their arms full of cakes and fresh bread. The warmth of the small shop did him good, contrasting with the damp cold of the end of the year. He hadn't taken two steps into the bakery that Rolanda Hooch stood in front of him, putting her items next to her, her fists on her hips, an accusing look on her face, the same look she had always had for him as a child when he... forgot to return his books... Shit.

"Percival Arthur Graves, it's not very polite to return late what was so generously lent to us! "

He displayed the most polite smile and the most desolate look possible, pushing his head into his shoulders like a child caught in the act.

"Miss Hooch, I am so sorry," he apologized piteously.

She pointed an accusing index finger at him, the twitching of the corner of her mouth betraying an amused and tender smile. She wasn't really angry, and obviously, to her, he was still the little boy who ran between the book shelves to play hide-and-seek with James and Remus.

"You're lucky, young man, that no one wanted to borrow those books! But I want them back before January, is that clear? "

Her tone wasn't really authoritative, but the intention was there, and that's enough for Percy to say:

"Very clear, Miss Hooch. "

She straightened up, satisfied, lowering her hand so that she could get her purchases back, and she came a little closer to him.

"Good, very good," she said. "Now I wish you a very merry Christmas. " Then she added in confidence: "Force Queenie to take a vacation, the poor little marvel is at the end of her strength and I'm afraid that Jacob himself is not in good enough shape to be able to convince her. "

"I'll do my best," he promised with a smile.

She nodded, visibly happy with this answer. She looked at him for a few moments, as if she was trying to discover something with her clear, piercing eyes, and then, with her calm, joyful voice, she simply smiled:

"I don't doubt it. Keep on taking care of yourself Percival, those few extra pounds make you look good. "

Then she left the bakery, leaving behind her a blushing and perplexed Graves. He cleared his throat to give himself some self-control, finally arriving in front of the counter when it was the Lovegood family's turn to leave the place with some pastries. Queenie looked up at him and in no time at all, she was against him, hugging him tightly, holding back her tears poorly, finally letting her panic show through.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry ... " he apologized, giving her back her embrace, ignoring the new customers who were arriving.

Jacob came out of the back room, waved to them that he was taking care of everything, and Queenie led Percival to the tea corner to have a chat with him. She moved away from him, but kept her hands in his, visibly anxious at the thought of letting him go completely.

"What happened? " she asked. "Percy, I was so scared, you weren't coming in and you didn't answer the phone! "

"I know, sweetheart, I'm sorry... "

"Is everything all right? "

Lying to Tina was impossible, and he doubted that the kiss would remain a secret for long, but denying the obvious to Queenie Goldstein, who was almost able to read his thoughts, was just plain stupid. He blinked his eyelids several times, as if it would save him time. But the young woman's imploring gaze soon dissuaded him from doing so. He had to reassure her, to find the words, to...

"I kissed Credence. "

The words had passed his lips without him being able to hold them back, and to tell the truth, saying it out loud shook him more than he thought. The merman's panic attack had prevented him from thinking clearly about what had happened and how he felt. Credence had been his priority and it was only now that he realized how much this act meant to him. He had let someone touch him, touch his soul, steal his heart, and he had burned with a new fire, consumed by a desire that he believed had been extinguished forever. His friend's only reaction was to hug him tightly around his neck.

"I am happy, oh honey, I am so happy! "

And despite all the complexity of the situation, the regrets and all the suffering still present in him and in Credence, he could only confess to himself that he too was happy. He loved again, he felt again, and for the first time in a long time, he felt passion for another man without feeling the bitter taste of disgust for himself or hearing his father's diabolical voice.Not once during the kiss had he felt bad or disgusting. And this was further proof that the merman was his redemption.

"I'm in love..." he murmured, more for him than for Queenie.

The store was a little less crowded and after a kiss against his cheek, Queenie walked away from him to the back room to get the dessert he had come for. With a smile on his face, he sat down on one of the chairs, looking at the floor in an absent look. He had kissed Credence, he had tasted his lips, his skin, he had tasted the forbidden fruit, and he was certain that he would never recover from the outpouring of feeling that it had provoked in him. A weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He was going to have to do his best, be the best version of himself to make sure that the merman never wanted to leave him.

His thoughts were at this point when a stranger entered the bakery. He was tall, redheaded, slim, with a slender and nervous appearance that vaguely reminded him of Remus Lupin at his young age. He had a large blue coat and was dressed in a style that many must have considered grotesque but which he found strangely original. The man, who was not yet 30 years old, was holding a slightly crumpled piece of paper that looked like a letter. The stranger felt that he was being watched as he turned his gaze towards Percival before a huge smile appeared on his face. The fisherman didn't know what in his physiognomy made him friendly and kind, but he must have seemed to be amiable enough as the stranger moved quickly towards him before quickly saying :

"Hello sir, I'm looking for Queenie Goldstein. "

"She is in the back store, she should be here soon... "

He didn't want to seem rude, but he was still not sure he wanted to trust this individual. He didn't want to get to know him, which is why he didn't want to start a conversation or shake his hand. As endearing as his spontaneous and agitated attitude might seem, Percival had known for a long time that appearances could not be trusted. And the other must have realized this, since he didn't try anything, just nodded his head vaguely before turning his attention to the bakery's tile floor.

The young Goldstein reappeared with her arms full of pink boxes. It seemed as if there would be not four but forty of them tonight. She put everything on the table next to Percival and smiled her best smile at the newcomer.

"Are you Queenie? " he asked.

"I am, how can I help you? "

One of the stranger's hands finally let go of one side of the letter before reaching out to the young woman. Queenie shook it warmly as the other rushed to introduce himself.

"Nice to meet you, I am Newton Scamander, I understand you are a trustworthy person. "

The sentence only went round and round in Percy's head and he raised his face so quickly towards Queenie that he almost hurt his neck. Did he hear it right? Had the oddball really said, " _Newton Scamander_ "? No, it was impossible! And if he had, what the hell was he doing here? Queenie blushed slightly, visibly uncomfortable, and there was something in her eyes when she laid her eyes on Percival who turned his stomach: there was something hidden from him, and it probably had something to do with Credence. He bit the inside of his cheek so as not to explode into a wave of questions as the young woman finally answered:

"I thought you were supposed to write. "

"Well, yes, but under the circumstances, and you'll agree, I thought it would be safer if I showed up in person. "

What circumstances? What was he talking about? Percival was feeling more and more anxious, and without being able to restrain himself, he got up in a hurry, ready to send this Newton packing if he tried to ask the slightest question about Credence. Queenie must have realized this, for she quickly apologized to the newcomer before taking Percival by the arm and dragging him into the back room, as the "quiet" tea corner was now occupied.

"Queenie, what is it all about?" he asked, once they were alone.

She bit her lower lip, frowning, visibly weighing the pros and cons of the whole situation.

"Credence wrote to him," she finally confessed.

A cold sweat ran down his back. He had never seen Credence write, not once, which ensured that it had all been done in his absence. It wasn't especially shocking in the sense that he left the young man alone for several hours during the day and that the merman had the right to do whatever he wanted. But letters? To an author of books on magical creatures? Why would he do that?

"Credence? Credence wrote to Newton Scamander? "

"Yeah, he wrote him a week ago, had some... questions for him. "

She could hardly have been more vague in her explanations, and judging by the way she nervously twisted her fingers, she knew more about the subject. Percy clenched his jaw, more stressed than angry. He didn't want anyone to find out about Credence, the outside world was far too cruel and stupid to come face to face with such a wonderful being.

"Why... Why don't I know about it? " he asked.

"He asked me not to tell you, I was supposed to take care of the correspondence, but I didn't know he would show up in person. "

So it was official, Percival was not supposed to know about this letter exchange.

"What does he want? "

"I don't know, to meet Credence, I guess... "

"It's out of the question! "

She motioned to him to lower his voice, looking over his shoulder to make sure they weren't attracting attention. Why was she so nervous? It wasn't like it was anything new to see them talking to each other in the back room.

"It's not up to you, it's important to him! " she said afterwards.

"For whom, for Credence who asked me to protect him or for that jerk who is just waiting to dissect him? "

It was cold and it was seeing the bad side of things, but his existence had not particularly taught him to be optimistic and naive. Queenie frowned a little more, looking at him strangely.

"You don't know that... He could…"

"I won't let him get anywhere near Credence! " he asserted, taking care to detach every word.

"Just because you love him doesn't mean he belongs to you, I thought you would know that better than anyone. "

And God it hurt to hear that kind of thing. He took a step back, as if Queenie had physically hit him. This kind of low blow could come from Tina, often to make him react, but never, not once, did Queenie try to hurt him to shake him up or get him back on the straight and narrow. She crushed her hand on her lips, as if this gesture would allow her to swallow her words, and then apologized:

"Percy, I'm sorry... Forgive me, honey, I didn't mean it. It was mean and out of place, I'm sorry. "

Damn, that day seemed endless, it wasn't even noon yet, and he felt like he had experienced years of rebounding in just a few hours. It wasn't Christmas Eve, it was End of the World Eve!

Queenie tried to get close to him but he motioned for her to keep her distance before taking a determined step towards the tea corner to get the desserts. He needed to have a conversation with Credence. That he was friends with the Goldsteins was one thing, but that he chose to act with them behind his back was another! He felt excluded, cheated, and above all useless, and he hated it. Why did everything always blow up? He had only just confessed to himself that he was in love, and then the other "Mr. I'm interested in magical creatures" came and turned everything upside down! Ah, it was so frustrating!

He took the stack of boxes in his arms, ignoring Queenie who continued to apologize.

"Percival, I'm sorry... Please honey, it's a difficult day and I... "

"Percival? " Newton repeated. "Are you Percival Graves, the fisherman? "

It might have reassured him to know that the merman had mentioned him in his correspondence, but it had the opposite effect. What had been said? Was he part of some kind of experiment? He knew he was being unfair and paranoid, but he couldn't reason with himself. He had been broken too many times, to the point where nothing seemed to him to be without ulterior motives or manipulations. With a quick gesture, he managed to keep all the desserts on one of his arms and with his free hand he grabbed Newton by the collar before saying to him in a poisonous tone :

"Don't behave as if you fucking know me! Don't act like you know anything! "

And without waiting for his reaction he pushed him away before disappearing outside. He was going to hear about it from Queenie for at least the next six months, but he didn't care. The only thing that mattered at the moment was to go home and clear things up with Credence. No more secrets, no more mysteries, ever, with anyone, it had hurt him too much in the past.

He put the boxes on the passenger seat before getting behind the wheel. His phone vibrated at the same time, displaying a message from Tina saying that she had to go home to take care of something, that Credence was fine and that he was reading in the living room when she left. Perfect!

He started the engine and quickly left his parking space. He didn't know what he was angry about: that Credence had hidden from him that he was trying to contact Newton, that it was obviously an important subject that he didn't know about, or that he realized that he had more confidence in Queenie than in him. Christ, they had just kissed for the first time, and yet he felt rejected, left on the sidelines. And at the same time he was furious with himself, furious at being so selfish, furious at feeling the need to keep Credence to himself, furious at being weak and anxious, furious at not having enough confidence in himself to think that the merman was going to stay, as he had so often told him.

Percival parked quickly before leaving the car without getting the cakes. Dessert could well wait! He rushed inside the house, doing his best to contain himself (even if it was not very conclusive). Credence was startled when he slammed the door, hastily putting down his book and walking towards him with a worried face. He hadn't taken two steps before Graves exploded:

"Did you write to Scamander? "

He didn't shout, but his trouble was visible. The young man froze, keeping a reasonable distance from him, staring at him for a long time, waiting to see if Percival would calm down or if he was about to burst.

"Oh, he replied? " he simply asked.

"No, he arrived in the village this morning! "

A strange expression passed over the merman's face before he frowned. He seemed to think for a long time before embracing his own torso, as if to protect himself from something, and to say in a detached, faded tone:

"Oh... Oh, that's a good thing. "

"A good thing? Is it ? And the good thing wouldn't have been to warn me? "

God, that sounded selfish and pretentious. Credence didn't owe him anything and he didn't need Percy to live, he just needed him to survive. That was all, apart from that, Percival was not indispensable, and this feeling stuck to him like a second skin.Credence straightened up, letting his arms fall back down along his body, taking on that calm and serene air that Graves had always found difficult to define. Then, in a measured tone, he said:

"Why ? Queenie said she would help me. "

Percival stepped back. He didn't necessarily expect an apology, but at least an explanation. Was he so certain that he had a hold on Graves that he didn't even bother to include him in his research anymore? What did that make him? A helpful and interesting being to play with, someone to throw away once nothing else made him fun and entertaining? Was he going to lock himself back into a doomed relationship again? No, he couldn't think like that. Credence was a good, kind, wonderful person, and Percival loved him, he loved him more than he would ever admit to himself and more than he would ever tell him...

"I don't know, maybe because you've been living here for almost three months, because I would have liked to have known that a complete stranger was going to come to my house! "

"I can meet him in town, Queenie could... "

"Queenie won't be able to do anything at all! he cut it off. You're not going to the city! Good God, I thought nobody was supposed to meet you! And now you want to go for a walk there? "

He had to stop raising his voice, it was useless and it would disturb Credence. The young man closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before answering with his melodious voice:

"Stop getting angry. Before I had only met bad people, but now I know you, I know Tina, Queenie and Jacob. And I am able to defend myself. "

" And what tells you that Newton is not mentally ill? I won't let you meet him, not a chance! "

"It's not for you to decide, and I'm the one who wrote to him. "

It was cold, almost snappy, and there was no room for discussion. And it made him even angrier, even more out of his mind. Credence was imposing a place on him that he didn't want, the one where he had to stay on the side of the discussion quietly and without complaining. Credence didn't owe him anything, he didn't have to account to him, he knew it, damn it, in a totally objective way, he knew it! So why was he making himself sick like that? It was just a few letters with an almost unknown writer, so why did it put him in that state?

Credence tried to use his power on him, but Graves looked at him so blackly that the heat disappeared immediately. And suddenly a pernicious and hurtful thought settled in his mind: had he been wrong all along? Was it to show Newton his hold on the fisherman that Credence had contacted him? Had he shared things from their life together? Hell, he was crazy, and the day seemed so unreal that it seemed to have no end. He wanted to scream and cry at the same time, and that's why he had a hard time articulating:

"Why, for God's sake, why? Are you hiding things from me? Are you experimenting on me with your powers and you want to share it with him? "

"Percival, calm down, you are becoming hurtful," he said calmly.

It was no longer anger, it was distress, panic, he recognized it by the trembling of his hands and his difficulty in breathing. And Credence must have noticed it too because he allowed himself to take a step towards him, his perfect calm showing a touch of anxiety.

"Why... why did you write to him? Why do you want to talk to him? Why didn't you tell me? "

"Not now... not now... "

"Fuck, when then? You always say " _not now_ " and I feel like I'm going crazy every time you say those two words! "

He was having more and more trouble breathing and felt his rib cage compress violently. He hadn't had that kind of seizure in years... In fact, in retrospect, he hadn't had a fight with someone, really a fight, for a really long time, and it was making him confused and scared.

"Percival, not now!" Credence insisted, more curtly.

With a quick step he approached the fisherman and in a fraction of a second Percival's body was enveloped in this very special heat wave. He closed his eyes, pressing his palms to his temples, trying to repress the power of Credence who was trying to appease him against his will.

"Percival... " the merman whispered, his voice resonating as if it was taking possession of him.

The heat wave intensified and he almost felt like vomiting, as if Credence was forcing him to lose control of himself.

"Don't use your power on me when I become upset, I hate it! " he shouted.

"Then calm down!" he replied in the same tone.

The power disappeared and Percy felt his legs getting weak. He hung on to the edge of the kitchen table so he wouldn't collapse, shaken by the sudden return of all his emotions. Credence tried to come closer but Graves raised one arm to keep him at a distance.

"Why am I doing everything I can to protect you? Why am I making sure that no one with evil intentions can learn of your existence if it's so that you decide overnight to invite a complete stranger here? "

"I didn't invite him, I wrote to him!" he cried, losing his calm and giving way to an expression that Percival had never seen before. "God, you are so frustrating! "

"Why?" he insisted.

He didn't shout anymore, he was just tired and he needed to know, to know the reason. Why had he written to Newton? Why didn't he trust him? A fire was burning in Credence's eyes, he seemed to have trouble dealing with his own emotions as his hands clenched in two fists until his knuckles bleached.

"Because there's a change in my body that I don't understand. "

It was cold, dry, sharp. He was furious, but something in the way he was acting was hiding something else, something deeper. He wasn't angry with Percy, he was angry with himself. And that realization finally calmed Graves, who straightened up, breathing deeply to give himself some composure before asking:

"A change? What do you mean by "change"?"

Credence clenched his jaw, the muscles of his neck tightened, and then, in an instant, burning tears began to roll down his cheeks. If there was one thing that Graves could not stand, it was seeing him cry. The merman wiped his cheeks angrily, even more annoyed that he couldn't control himself again. Percival waited patiently, not moving, giving the youngest the time and space he needed. Then, after an eternity, in a trembling voice, he confessed:

"I am bleeding... "

He said this in such a shameful way that it broke the fisherman's heart. Was he hurt? How did Percy not notice anything? Had Tina been helping him without his knowledge? And why was the injury related to Scamander? Percival frowned before repeating:

"You are...bleeding? "

Credence again embraced his own body, shaking his head as if he was trying to escape from reality. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before straightening up, looking into the older man's eyes and saying :

"I've been bleeding in my intimacy for about ten days and I don't know what it is! I don't know what it is because I don't know anything about my species, I have always been alone and for as long as I can remember I have always been forbidden to be interested in my body! So yes, I'm bleeding, and I don't know why, and it terrifies me as much as it makes me angry to surrender to the fact that I don't even know my own body! "

His last words were half choked with sobs. Percival's surprise soon gave way to anxiety and sadness as the last traces of anger evaporated. He didn't know if Credence would bear his contact, so he kept his distance and in a voice he wanted tender and reassuring, he asked:

"Why didn't you tell me? Credence, why didn't you tell me? "

"Because I'm terrified! " he shouted, all his panic exploding in broad daylight in an emotion so painful on his beautiful face that Graves had to take it upon himself not to burst into tears too. "You have done so much for me, and you continue to do so much for me! You are the most important person for me, literally the center of my Universe, the only one who can understand and accept me, and all I do is take, take, and take until you are exhausted and you are already at the end of your strength! I don't want you to worry about me, I want to be able to help you, I want to be able to... God, I want to be worth something, I have to! "

"Credence... " he tried.

He approached, putting a hand on his shoulder. The man shuddered, but he did not move away. He was shaken with sobs he was trying to hide, his arms tightening tighter around his chest. It was so painful to see, and he suddenly seemed so lost, like this morning in the bathroom.

"I want to... I want to be worth it, I don't want to feel useless and weak, I don't want... I don't want to keep leaning on you... I want... You don't know what it's like to... I feel so... So unworthy of you, of your patience, of your affection, and as soon as I manage to reason with myself, and tell myself that I have the right to deserve your attention, there's a new thing that makes me feel miserable and... abnormal, and I... I... I... I'm so terrified about you not wanting me... I did wrong... I did wrong, I'm sorry... "

Percival brought him back against him in the most tender gesture possible, being careful not to rush him when he closed his embrace around him. They really had to learn how to communicate their emotions and anxieties, because these revelations simply reflected Credence's fear of losing Percy, just as Graves was terrified that he would one day disappear. Credence cried against him, his body gasping in between his tears. Then suddenly he raised his face covered with tears towards the fisherman to be able to say to him in a heartbreaking tone:

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing, I swear... "

"Shhh, it's all right... " he reassured him with a kiss on his forehead.

Credence shook his head, his tears redoubled, his lower lip trembling dangerously, his eyelids stuck by the tears. It would have been adorable if it hadn't been so heartbreaking... His arms detached from his body so that his hands could hold on to Percy's sweater.

"No... No, I screamed... " he cried. "I did wrong, I'm sorry... "

"Credence, everything is fine! " he repeated, wiping his tears with his thumbs. "You are safe! You are with me! It's all right, it's all right! "

"Is it ? Is it, Percy? "

Where was the young man who told him not to get angry in the calmest tone of voice in the world? How could he doubt that? He looked so young at times, and at others so much older, like it is often the case with children who have suffered and been torn away from childhood.

"Yes ... Yes, my darling, it's all right! You have the right to scream, you can... "

"No... " he cut it off by shaking his head. "No... "

"Credence, look at me," he said softly.

The merman finally opened his eyes, unable to stop crying. And Percy would probably have fallen in love with him at that very moment, if he wasn't already so at his feet that it bordered on the ridiculous. He had such a peculiar, strong, deep glow in his eyes that Percival doubted that he could live for anyone else after him. There would be no after Credence, never...

He tried to display a smile, continuing to caress the cheeks of the youngest as he spoke again:

"You have the right to shout, you have the right to answer me when I get carried away, okay? I've upset you and I've acted badly, I apologize. You have the right to get angry and express yourself when something doesn't agree with you, okay? "

Credence's crying subsided slightly. He stared at Graves for a long time, as if he was looking for something in his eyes, a lie, a deception. But none of this was visible in the fisherman's eyes, and that finally calmed his panic and tears. He wiped his face with his sleeves in a clumsy and childish gesture, then he raised his big black eyes towards Percy.

"You're not angry with me anymore? " he asked.

No, he wasn't angry anymore. And to tell the truth, he wasn't sure if he really was or if it was just another manifestation of his lack of self-confidence and his fear that Credence would manipulate him or leave.

"No, of course not! I... I wasn't really angry, I... I'm afraid that something bad will happen to you because I care about you, okay? The people in this village aren't really good people, and I'd rather have you away from them. "

Credence placed his hands over one of Percy's, pressing his cheek into his palm in an almost feline gesture that warmed the older man's heart. Then he put his arms around Percival's neck, burying his head against him.

"But perhaps Mr. Scamander is different", he suggested.

And it was true. For the little he had seen, the bugger didn't look bad. At worst eccentric and lunar, but not bad and pernicious. What a welcome he had given him... Now Newton was going to see him as a sociopath... Great... He sighed for a long time and Credence tightened his grip around him.

"You're right, maybe he's different," he admitted.

"So... So you would be okay with him answering my questions here? "

Percy thinks for a few moments, anxious at the idea of letting a stranger enter his house and approach the merman, but even more panicked at the thought of Credence going to the village. So after another sigh, he agreed.

"Okay, yes, it's okay... "

Credence clung to him enough so that his whole body was against Percy. This embrace added to the warmth of the merman's power, which gradually came back to calm Percival completely, and he sighed at ease, closing his arms around the youngest's waist.

"Thank you... Thank you, Percy. I'm sorry I shouted. "

"No, I'm the one who's sorry, I got angry without giving you time to explain," he apologized again.

And he was better than that, better than his anxieties, his jealousy and his fears. Credence delicately placed a kiss on his neck, and the fisherman shivered gently as he closed his eyes. Then he kissed his jaw, his cheek, before stopping at the corner of his lips. This morning's kiss had somehow shown them both that they were not yet fully ready for that kind of intimacy, but that the feelings and desire were there. And so Credence was content to touch his lips in a ghostly, butterfly-like contact full of promise. Then in a small voice he asked:

"Percy, can we go back to bed now? I would like to wake up again and start the day all over again... "

In all objectivity, it was the best idea possible, so Percival agreed. He released Credence who, after a last kiss on his cheek, walked away to the room. Graves retrieved the cakes and took them back to the kitchen before putting them in the fridge. He also sent Queenie an apology message to which she promptly replied with her own apology and Newton Scamander's contacts. He sighed before leaving the cell phone in the living room and joining Credence in the bedroom. The merman was already completely rolled up in the blankets, curled up on his side of the bed. Percy closed the shutters, then crawled to the side of the younger one who cuddled his back to his chest as soon as the fisherman was settled. Graves put an arm around his waist and kissed his neck. And in less than a few minutes, rocked by the rain that had resumed and the calm breathing of Credence, Percival found the world of dreams and nothingness.

* * *

"So, how did it go? " Percival asked.

He was on the terrace completely frozen by the winter cold, sitting on one of his uncomfortable chairs, but he had wanted to give Credence the space he needed to confide in Newton without fear of being heard. Or rather, without trying to make sure that Percival would not be disturbed.

The holiday season had gone wonderfully well, better than Graves could have hoped for. Tina had been put into the confidence of Credence's nature between Christmas Day and New Year's Eve, and it was quite surprising that she announced that she was half surprised. The kiss had been kept secret, except for Queenie, and Percival had refrained from repeating the experience. Not that he didn't want to, just that neither he nor Credence was really ready to take the next step in their relationship. Graves was not even sure how to define their relationship...

After several conversations with Newton, it soon became clear that the writer was anything but a bad person. He was benevolent in each of his interactions, whether it be in his choice of words for Percival, his (increasingly frequent) glances for Tina, his reassuring smiles for Queenie, but above all by his delicacy and patience towards Credence.

He had rented a small apartment in town and planned, if the merman accepted, to talk with him in order to learn more about his species but also to be able to confide to Credence what he had discovered during his research and what he had chosen not to write in his book. Needless to say, Percival could not help but ask him if all the creatures in his book were real. And Newton had taken the time to answer him, to share anecdotes, and it was under the tender gaze of Credence watching them interact that Percy thought that perhaps the arrival of Scamander was a good thing.

Credence's bleeding had continued, less heavily but still frequent, often leaving him tired and anxious. After several days, during the first week of January, when his confidence in Scamander was sufficient, the man agreed to let Newton examine him. And it was just that afternoon that this happened. Percival had left them alone in the bathroom for about half an hour, nervously smoking a cigarette, when the living room door opened. He crushed the nicotine cylinder as he straightened up.

The merman was horribly pale when he said in a white voice:

"Newton is gone. He thinks it's better to let me tell you. "

Credence bit his lower lip, fleeing the older man's gaze as if he had something shameful to tell him. Percival didn't want to be pushy, but he was really worried and the merman's silence did not bode well. He stood up, passed a hand through the brown curls of Credence, before saying in a calm and reassuring voice :

"Is everything all right? "

He didn't want to hear a negative response, to learn the worst, to have to face a new pain. He wanted Credence to simply smile at him and promise him that everything would be all right, that it was just a side effect of his acclimatization to earthly life, or an inconsequential reaction to things he had experienced in his past. He wanted everything to go well, to be perfectly fine. But Credence's pale face and tears in the corners of his eyes promised him the opposite.

"Credence, what is it? "

"I... I'm... " he hesitated.

The young man refused to look up at him and Percival's guts twisted unpleasantly. He put his hand on his cheek, waiting for Credence to finish his sentence, but he did not, so Percy insisted:

"You are? "

A tear rolled down Credence's cheek and he finally looked up with his eyes shining towards him. He took a deep breath and said:

"I am deformed... "

Percival's first thought was to answer " _No_ ," because he had never seen anything as perfect as Credence. The second was to run after and shake Scamander until he apologized by shouting at him. And the last, and the one he chose, was to ask the merman for more explanation.

"Deformed? What do you mean, deformed? "

"I'm not like human beings. "

He looked so sad when he said that, as if it was a flaw when for Percy it was openly an advantage. Tenderly, Percival took him in his arms, embracing his waist, but leaving enough space for Credence to continue looking him in the eye.

"I think this is something that was already clear... I mean, you're magic, it's normal that... "

"No, it's not that, it's... It's deeper than that... " Credence said in a trembling voice.

A cold sweat ran down his spine and he felt his heart contract violently. Credence felt it and hastened to use his power over him. It didn't really calm Percival, but it now prevented him from feeling the biting cold of January.

" Deeper? " he asked, worried.

Credence closed his eyes, letting more salt beads roll down his cheeks before wiping them off. Then he looked at Percy's face and, looking sad and frightened, he said:

"I can have children. "

Graves had expected a lot, and quite frankly his brain was far too productive in tragic scenarios, but not that sentence. And in all sincerity, he didn't see the connection with his deformity and the fact that it was "serious". He could have children, that was... Good news, wasn't it? Not really the kind of subject that Percival thought he would discuss with him after just one kiss and three months of living together, but there was nothing dramatic or catastrophic about it. He stared at Credence for a long moment, puzzled, before speaking again:

"That's... that's a good thing, right? "

But Credence shook his head, new tears forming in his big black eyes. His hands grabbed Percival's sweater, as he did so often. He was afraid that Graves would go away...

"No, you don't understand! I can... I can bear children... "

Percival blinked his eyelids several times, trying to analyze this information. He was certain he looked like a fish out of water with his mouth ajar and his apparent shock. But he did not let go of Credence. He had no desire for the younger one to feel rejected when the news seemed to upset him so much. Graves swallowed with difficulty, opening his mouth several times to speak, but unable to find the words. And this silence seemed to disturb and stress the merman even more, whose skin was so pale that it was almost gray in color.

"You... you can... you can get pregnant? " Graves finally articulated.

Although his shock was understandable, he felt a little ridiculous. He had accepted a fish tail, gills, a shiny stone at the base of his back, magical powers, and he wondered about that... But... But... But... God, why couldn't his brain integrate the information? Was it because it was too intimate? Was it because he hadn't thought about having a child since... since... And why the hell was he thinking about it now! The fact that Credence was a hermaphrodite did not mean that he wanted a child with Percival! It didn't even mean that he wanted children at all! It didn't mean anything, except that he was, on another point, a little more different from a human being. But that didn't change anything! Credence remained Credence, and after just one kiss and Percival's inability to imagine a more intimate contact with the merman in a rational way, he couldn't understand why this information destabilized him so much.

"That's why I'm bleeding," Credence explained. "Newton said I must have suffered severe deprivation and trauma for my first cycle to come this late. It's not a surprise given... well, you know... but I... He said that he'd never met a mermen that it had happened to and that... that there was a chance that I might not... that I might not be able to procreate. "

Okay, now he was starting to panic. He was starting to panic because all this was becoming dangerously concrete and Credence was confiding in him as if... as if... as if they were a couple. And they weren't a couple... Not really, right? Apart from the fact that they had kissed, that they lived together, that they slept in the same bed, that Percival called him more and more often "love", that where he had for so long thought "I" now he thought "we", and that... That he was completely and irrevocably in love with him, even though he had never yet said it out loud.

A stifled sob of Credence took him out of his thoughts. The merman collapsed completely against him, hiding his face against his shoulder as he continued to open up:

"Percy... Percy, I'm so afraid... I'm so scared... I know I'm a magical creature and I've always known that what they wanted to get into my head was all lies, but I... "

A new sob prevented him from finishing his sentence, and Percival cursed himself for being unable to react. Credence needed to be reassured, protected, and there he was, frozen, his hands clenched around the waist of the youngest, staring at the living room behind him with an empty gaze.

"What if it was true?" Credence continued. "What if I was a monster, a creation of evil? What if I was wicked and everything in me was a chimerical aberration? I... I don't know anymore... Percy, I'm lost, and I'm so scared... They told me... They told me I was evil, that my masculinity was rotten and twisted, that something pernicious was being created inside of me and I had to... I had to do everything I could to stop it... They said I was supposed to become a man, but I'm not, and I... Percy, I'm confused and terrified... What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do?

"I don't know… I… I don't know"

And it was probably the worst thing to answer since the young man broke down in tears against him. Percival finally woke up, swallowing his questions and panic to tighten his arms around Credence's slender body. Credence... The wonderful, magical, unreal Credence... How could the universe have created such a creature? And how was it possible that of all the human beings living on this earth, it was he who held him so tightly in his arms. He delicately pushed the merman away so that he could take his face in his hands. He placed a kiss on each of his cheeks before saying, with a moving smile:

"I don't know, Credence, because I've never met anyone like you. What I do know is that there is nothing bad or twisted about you. You are the most beautiful, kind, intelligent, generous and fascinating creature I've ever met, and I feel so privileged that you confide in me on this subject. "

He seemed not to believe it, and strangely enough, he stopped his power over Percy, as if he was suddenly afraid that this was what was influencing him. But Percival's expression remained the same, and to support his words, he placed a tender kiss on his forehead. All of Credence's muscles finally relaxed and after a few sobs, the tears began to settle. He pressed his cheek into one of Percy's hands, closing his eyes to savor the contact, frowning as if he was afraid it would be the last time. Then he opened his eyes again and said:

"Who else could I have told? I will stay with you for eternity. "

Graves was completely destabilized by this. It wasn't an "I love you," but it warmed every fiber of his heart so strongly that he thought it would explode in his chest. It wasn't the first time that Credence had promised him he would stay, but now it sounded obvious, as if nothing could stop it from happening. Oh God, he was screwed, he was madly in love with this being.

"Well, what I meant was... what... what I meant was... what I meant was... " Percival mumbled.

Credence cuddled up to him again, letting the rest of his tears disappear in a sigh. Percy hugged him again, forgetting what he had wanted to say to him, preferring to put a tender kiss in his hair. If this was life, he never wanted to know anything else.

"I don't want a life where you're not," Credence said, "and I want even less a life where you don't want me anymore. And if my deformity makes you ... "

"It's not a deformity, Credence," he cut him off, because it was important for him to understand that. "Nothing you are is ugly or deformed, and I will do my best to convince you of that. "

It was a promise to the merman as well as to him. He had to. He had to prove to him that all those monsters had been wrong to treat him as they did, that Credence had something divine, angelic, so irremediably infinite that Percival doubted that he could ever do anything but fall in adoration before him. Credence put a kiss on his neck and then he moved away from him, a huge and beautiful smile on his face.

"So I guess this is it," he said.

"That's what? "

"Hope... I'm going to be yours forever. "

And God only knew that Percival would have given up everything to see that happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's where we are ^^ I hope you enjoyed it. <3


End file.
